Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Kiper

Or this guy . . .


I wish all the draftnosticators would have post mortem shows to give us all the scoop on how well (terrible) they did with their draft picks. Short of the top 5 (and maybe not even that this year) these guys go off the rails by pick 8 in round 1.

Far be it from me to complain about the draft hype, because it does keep the NFL within earshot of everyone in the world, but it has jumped the shark at this point. Changing cities? Ooooh. Aaaah. Philly gets the nod this year, and the crowing nabobs will be out in force. ESPN, corporate sponsors, and the hype machine behind it has made this a giants freak show greed-head extravaganza. Coming from the good old days when Pete Rozelle would rent a non-descript conference room in a New York hotel for 6 hours and roll through 12 rounds, the draft is now huge business (although the rookie cap threw a little shade on the process of making tens of millions of dollars for the players. The owners couldn’t have THAT. You know, saving the owners from themselves). Thing is, though, it IS a fairly important activity for a lot of teams who are struggling. Dallas went from  also-ran with a fragile QB to an instant contender when they drafted Ezekiel Elliott and Dak Prescott. Yeah, they had a decent team before, but their jump was entirely unexpected by everyone. Especially when fix-me-again-Tony went down with his latest and last injury.

So here we are, three days from the first draft of the new regime. Newly minted (and unexperienced) GM John Lynch and newly minted (and unexperienced) HC Kyle Shanahan are poised on their first foray into the Wide World of NFL Hypedom, the NFL DRAFT!!! Reading between the lines of obscurity around the NFL, the 49ers appear to be in the hunting and gathering mode. They are looking like they will wait for Kirt Cousins to dislodge from the Washington Redskins and forego the QB spot this year. At least with a high draft pick. So that leaves the option of trading down. Something I’ve advocated for a while now, but with little consensus as to who the two should be, the demand for that pick may not be a strong one. Still, Cleve may pull the trigger to ensure they don’t lose out on Truebiscuit boy and trade with us for the 2nd pick. That’s the hope anyway.

Lynch and Shanny appear to be fairly balls-out in their dealings so far. Nothing earthshaking, but they aren’t sitting on their hands like Baalke did all free agency last year. So I think they do try to gather as many high picks as they can.

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Far be it from me to spread rumors, but there’s nothing else to talk about, short of the local baseball team’s inability to beat up on their brethren of the NL West. Four series with AZ, Colo, and SD netted one series win, and a 5-9 record. Subpar  pitching and the usual anemic hitting has led to the state of that team.

The 49ers? Well, they have a better chance of getting better in the short term as the NFL draft is a lot more immediate and impactful than the baseball draft. And with that comes the news from Peter King that the 49ers are “antsy” to trade out of the #2 spot. So are the Bears apparently, but we are 2, so we get the better return. As a side note, the vaporous nature of the Mitch Trubiscuit rise up the draft board is a great thing for the 49ers as the fact they are willing to trade out means they don’t want to take that shot.  Huzzah. Next year’s class is deeper in QBs, and the stand to get Kurt Cousins from the suddenly discombobulated Redskins at a reduced rate. Snyder may try to sign Cousins long-term, but his actions in recent memory make me think he wants to hang with Shanny rather than Gruden.

Cleveland stands to make the move to get MT with their 12th pick (and more) as bait for the 49ers, thus guaranteeing they get their guy. Thing is, the Bears might just be trying to deke the Browns into not making a deal so they can draft Trubisky.  Or they could sweeten the deal that we offer in order to get the 3rd pick if they feel we won’t draft him(we won’t). Who knows? There are still a ton of possibilities, but I think we trade out. Lynch and Shanahan are looking to make immediate progress and this is a way to get more oicks to stock the team. Short of getting Garrett, trading out is the right idea. And we are hopefully looking at Corey Davis or Mike Williams to add to the anemic WR corps. The 49ers haven’t had a legit threat since, oh the Terrell Owens days.  I don’t care who’s throwing to him at this point, just that we have a bona fide weapon.

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Eighteen Days Till The Draft . . .

And the speculation continues. . . . So far our 1st pick in the 1st round will be: Mitch Biscuit, DeShone (Walking Dead) Kizer, DeShaun Watson, Salomon Thomas, Myles Garrett (dream), Jonathan Allen, Jamal Adams, Malik Hooker, Mike Williams, Marshon Lattimore, Corey Davis, and even Leonard Fournette. Stop me if you’ve heard others.

The only guy who hasn’t been slotted to us (that I’ve seen anyway) is Marlon Humphrey.  Seeing as we lost the likely-to-be-looking-for-work-anyway-till-he-got-arrested-and sealed-the-deal CB Tremaine Brock, and are looking to move Jimmie Ward to FS, this just might be the call.

Then again, we’ve drafted a bunch of CBs in these past few years. ACL guys and non-ACL guys. 4th rounder Rashard Robinson, showed a lot of moxie his rookie season, and looks to be in the mix as a starter. 3rd rounder Will Redmond, the last of Trent Baalke’s ACL guys (“I guarantee he’ll be ready for the 2016 season!”) is healed up but it’s hard to know what they have with him. He’s got tape out there on him moving very well on his repaired knee. K’Waun Williams, this new front office’s first move, is an intriguing candidate as well. He seemed to know his injury better than the doctors at the Factory of Sadness, sat himself down, got his injury confirmed, and sued Cleveland for incompetence or some shit.

Then there’s Prince Charles Iworah . . . He played a little last year after being cut, signed to the practice squad, and promoted to the team late in the season.

So, shit. We probably don’t go CB. We’d go safety before CB I’d think. Tartt is a solid starter. But after that it gets thin. Bethea is gone, Reid is a question mark after all his concussions, and  Ball & Sunseri  are backups at best. Ward should be a solid addition to the mix, but depth is a concern at this point. Hooker has had a stellar college career, but two surgeries. One on a torn labrum and one on a hernia. He played through the injuries, and played well, so this likely doesn’t hurt Makik the Freak.

I’d love to trade out of the 2nd pick, but I don’t hear enough clamor for anyone to want to jump to the 2. I mean, if there was a top-tier QB among the chaff someone might make the jump.  Cleveland could even trade up to try and get Garrett AND Trubisky with the one and 2. Maybe they’ll settle for waiting at 12 because he could still be there, but that’s a risk. For them.



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Exciting News ! ! ! . . . Well, Serious News . . .

The 49ers signed a special teams LB, Jayson DeManche, aka the Man of LaMancha. Bounced around the league with the Bengals, Chiefs and Browns, and 10 minutes with Detroit. Mainly a warm body at this point, but there’s nothing gong on around the league.

Only other news is Richard Sherman asking for a trade from the Seahawks . . .

Methinks their window has slammed shut.

BREAKING NEWS – Tremaine Brock has been arrested on suspiscion of domestic abuse. From David Fucillo:

Robert Salonga is reporting that police were called to Brock’s home Thursday evening and found a woman he is dating with visible injuries. KRON 4 is reporting he was arrested for felony domestic violence.

I think Brock was on his way to the bench anyway, but this just shoves him out the door.

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Ruuummmmooorrrrzzzzz . . . . . .

Shit, i got nothin. No one has anything. The draft is 23 days away, and the free agent spigot has been shut off. Reading the blogosphere, we are getting a QB, getting a WR, getting a DE, getting a safety or trading down.

Got it. Even the Browns are supposedly thinking about taking Mitch Trubisky (PLEEEEASE!!!!) and thus cementing their standing as the dumbest franchise on the face of the Earth yet again. Hello Tim Couch.

Yeah, I’ve been all over the place as well. It’s hard to nail down a thought when there are so many needs and so many variables. The biggest being what the Browns do. If they somehow pass on Myles Garrett, I’d think our decision would be to take him. Pass rush is a huge need, and I’ve said all along that the defensive line is decent enough, but lacks a disruptor. If the Browns do what’s expected and take Garrett, the pool becomes instantly muddy.

As noted, we could do any one of those things above (ie, pick: WR Corey Davis or Mike Williams; QB Falsebisky or Watson; DE Thomas or Allen; S Hooker or Adams; trade down for more picks)  or do something different.

I mean, ALL these mock drafts are varying shades of crocks-of-shit because once you get past the first 6 picks and EVERYONE is wrong about EVERYTHING. Not a knock on anyone (well, except for Mel Kiper, the helmet-headed douchebag), it’s just that there are too many variables involved, and nothing goes as planned.

That being said, every one of those picks noted above make sense in some way, shape or form. The team has many many needs. Seeing as there ARE so many needs, I’d like to see us trade down. A ballsy move for a rookie GM/HC pair, but I think Lynch and Shanahan both get that the team needs a lot of high picks to rebuild the roster.

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Rumor Rumor, Who’s Got a Rumor?

Well, it ain’t much but word on the (Matt Barrows) street is that the Carolina Panthers are interested in our #2 pick in the draft. They have the 8th pick and there’s no word what else we would get but last year in the same trade last year between The Eagles and the Browns, the Eagles got  the second overall pick, and the Browns fourth round pick, and the Browns got the eighth overall pick, plus the Eagles third and fourth round picks, as well as the Eagles first and second round picks in 2017.

The Eagles really wanted that 2nd pick to get Carson Wentz, and got him. The Browns? Well, they are loaded for bear in this draft. But we’ve said that before. But they look to get Myles Garrett, so unless they trip over their dicks yet again they look to get a very good edge rusher.

What that means for us, if it even happens, is a mystery. But more than anything we need high draft picks this year. High draft picks that turn in to starters. They appear to be doing things right, and I like the players we have gotten so far, but there’s nothing to write home about. Hoyer and Hot Tub aren’t going to remind anyone of the Montana/Young days but I certainly feel better about things than I did a year ago.

And no, I’m not playing Rumors by Fleetwood Mac.


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This Lack of Football News . . .

. . . is giving me the blues. I think I’m going stone cold crazy.

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