Forty Niners Forever

Here we go with the first home game of the 2026 season. A trap game vs the woeful Miami Mammal Fish. They are in a world of disarray and are looking at a dismal season. In the order of 4 wins? Malik Williams and his 7 NFL starts in 5 seasons with Tenn, GB, and his lone Miami start looks to improve on that. Between him and De’Von Achane, they can put up some yards on the ground.

Nothing is ever easy in this NFL so I hope Shanny has these guys ready for this. I’ve seen too many games where we come out flat and stupid, expecting the other guys to wither at our greatness. But hey, this won’t be it. I think we take this something like 31-13.

And no more fucking season ending injuries allfuckingready.

Once game down, two starting offensive players out for the season. De’Zhaun Stribling and Jake Tonges but suffered significant injuries in that opener down under. Stribling an ankle injury that ended up requiring surgery that they say may heal after 10 weeks. I guess we’ll see, but Tonges’ MCL is a season ender.

Can we get through a game without major injuries? Especially to our WRs? It appears not. This team is beyond snakebit where it comes to our #1 pass catchers. Yes, the Rams game was fairly easy, and the guys on the field took care of business, but ALL of the receivers now are over 30. Unless you count Cowing and Watkins. The hologram brothers. We were supposed to be easing Kittle back in after his Achilles, but now we are depending on the fairly invisible Luke Farrell to pick up the slack.

Losing any one of these guys, and we have the whole season infront of us, will be crippling and we will end up like last year’s team that struggled to get the ball downfield.

It’s just fucking maddening that Pearsall, Stribling, and now Tonges are all shelved. This offense is screaming for a youth injection, and as of now we have Kadeon Black as the only guy. Even if Kirk comes back in week 5, he’s over the 30 hill. I mean, how many more opportunities do Cowing and Watkins need before putting some numbers up in a game?

Not that I hold any stock in these power rankings. They just make me laugh. As in, we shellack the preseason faves to reach the Super Bowl to the tune of Stafford’s lowest points scored since he’s been a Ram, and we put up 27 on their dream team defense, and they get ranked 2 spots ahead of us.

Yeah, makes sense. Not really, but it’s just more click fodder for the unwashed masses to react to. I mean, if I was an overreacting guys of guy, I’d put the Niners at #1 ahead of Seattle as they needed a 4th quarter 3-pick meltdown of the #4 ranked QB in the league (:) 🙂 :)) Drake Maye to seal the win.

Sourdough Sam is looking at missing at least 4 more games, so Seattle is gonna get a full taste of the injury bug. Seattle has the possibly resurgent Cardinals as their next opponent, on the road, so that should be fun. Seattle looked fairly pedestrian in their struggle to win that game, but this early on, you never really know what you are gonna get what with all the non-practicing and non-playing of so many starters in the league.

But the hope is the guys have gotten back to the correct time zone and sleep schedule. Otherwise the nattering nabobs of Niner negativity will praise the Rams for their looking ahead to get back to normal.

Sure. Right. What I love about most of the coverage in the NF, it seems to be the way to go to downplay any success of the tem or its quarterback. Oh, the Rams didn’t get enough sleep! Poor guys! Just wait till next time! Wonder what the ‘power rankings’ will say about this game.

Anyway, the thing that really baffles me about all this coverage regarding players, stats, teams, power rankings, yadda yadda yadda, is how absolutely dependent ALL the wonks are to fantasy statistics.

Yeah, Josh Allen is a great QB. He does great things. He puts up yards. He wins games. Sure he’s a top guy. Stafford? Yeeeeaaaaah. He’s pretty good but he has a strong team around him. Justin Herbert? Yeah, good QB, but 0 playoff wins. Yeah, they seem to have the 75 year curse iof never having a very good defense, but not 1 playoff victory?

Then you have Dak Prescott. He puts up great numbers but really, he doesn’t win important games. He puts up gaudy numbers against the weakest division, the NFC East. And Dallas had very good defenses in his time at QB. He’s pretty much garbage in my book as he has done the least with the most at his disposal.

Lamar Jackson is another guy who wilts in the playoffs yet gets all the love as being a top QB. Yeah, he has a ton of talent, and has won a lot of games, and his numbers shine, but playoffs? 3-5? Pffffffffffffffffffft.

Drake Maye is #4 in the NFL because of 1 season against another weak-ass division, the AFC East and the easiest schedule in the NFL? Big numbers, but he faces a strong D and you get what happened Wednesday night. 3 picks in the 4th quarter. NE is a paper tiger. They will not make the playoffs.

Point being, these retarded fantasy stat-driven rankings will always go against a balanced team like the 49ers have now, and had back in the day. I mean, I think Russell Wilson was the last QB to get any kind of kudos for running a balanced offense. He didn’t put up gaudy numbers because he didn’t have to. throw in a dominant defense and there you go.

Anyhow, end of rant. Bring on the Mammal fish.

Well, that went about as well as anyone could have imagined. Offense running and passing well. The O line playing way beyond expectations. Myles Garrett a non-factor. New guys Mike Evans and Kaelon Black kicking major ass, and the sad retreads in Deebo and Dre G making plays all over the field.

Purdy was fairly awesome but for the early pick, hitting a beautiful strike to Demarcus Robinson, and converting a boatload of 3rd downs to Evans. 3 TDs and 1 pick works as he got the bad shit out ot the way early.

Here’s the main reason that Purdy never is thought of as the master QB that he is. 25-34, 205. 3 TDs, 1 int. Spectacular numbers? Of course not. He takes what is there. 3rd down conversions? 7 of 12. THAT is huge. Yeah, a lot of check downs. But better a checkdown than a pick or sack. Speaking of sacks, the Rams had zero. Myles Garrett was gassed after the 1st half.

The newly tooled Raheem Morris defense looked every bit ready to be a force in the league. I don’t even think Morris went too crazy with the looks and blitzes but the Rams were kept off balance through most of the game. And but for the soft call on Lenoir, the DBs and safeties were solid all game.

Tell ya one thing, I really wonder if Sean McVay catches any shit for completely throwing up the white flag with 5 minutes left. Seemed like a pussy move to me, but they really played this whole thing pretty badly.

The Lamb lies down in Melbourne

Ready or not, here we go. Another clusterfuck of an offseason has finally ended. This team can’t seem to get out of its own way sometimes. And that’s just the coach and the owner. And the pretender.

Lots of story lines for this one. Niners vs Rams. Early arrival vs late arrival. Home field for SF on the 8,000 mile road. NFC West supremacy. Purdy vs Stafford. Yadda yadda yadda. Game one becomes a pretty big deal.

Fact remains though that the loser of this game is suddenly down 2 games to their division rivals. Well, still a game back of Seattle as they didn’t play a division game, but still as with last year, our fast start got us into the playoffs and almost the #1 seed. Even with all the mayhem.

On a side note, I still find is pretty funny how little respect Purdy gets from the league at large. Guys like Prescott and Herbert are the ‘class of the league’ Herbert? 0-3. Prescott? 2-5. Drake maye is ranked 4th. Woo hoo. Shit, even Josh Allen is 8-7. The #1 QB in the league has not won an AFC Championship game. Much as I can’t stand Mahomes, the dude can win under pressure in the playoffs.

But all the wonks in the league gush over Prescott’s gaudy stats as he beats up on the also-rans in the NFC Least. And Drake May is suddenly God’s gift to the QB spot because he had the easiest schedule in the NFL last year.

Yeah, football is a team game, but come playoff time, guys like Herbert, Allen, and Prescott especially need to show me more if they are to be thought of as great QBs to me. Prescott has done the least with the most. Dallas is ALWAYS near the top in offense and has had a solid defense. Well, except for last year.

But, as with all these weekly ‘power rankings’ and other bullshit lists, what really counts is out there on the field.

Bring it on!!!

• And gimme a prediction

The NFL in all it’s grandiosity and flash has pegged Wednesday night September 9th as the opening bell.

In it we get rhe Super Bowl rematch of the (6-11) Patriots and the defending Super Bowl champion Seattle Seakawks. They got a little weaker this offseason, but we just found out Albert Collins is lost for the year as he tore his patellar tendon in practice. How many fragile players can we draft? I guess the airplane was exposed to the power station before it took off.

I swear to God, the 49ers should move back to the toxic waste dump that is Candlestick Point.

It was safer there.

Anyhow, I think we reach the playoffs as a WC and we go 11-6 and finish one ahead of the Seahwanks and one behind the Rams. I think all 3 teams reach the playoffs again.

Well, we brought most of the guys. Whether they play or not remains to be seen, but George Kittle, Nick Bosa, Mike Evans, and the rest of the walking wounded have already made their way to the Land of Oz, leaving Wednesday night and landing, uh yesterday? Tomorrow? Not sure of the vagaries of time travel.

Per ESPN:

MELBOURNE, Australia — By the time the 49ers took off for Australia late Wednesday night Pacific Time, their Qantas Airbus A380 charter flight had four pilots, 22 cabin crew, one traveling charter manager and carried more than 95,000 pounds of human and material cargo. The payload included 220 passengers and their checked luggage, weighing in at an estimated 62,000 pounds, alongside 33,000 pounds of essential team equipment.

Quite the payload.

More interesting is the fat the Niners are giving themselves a full 9 days to acclimate to the 17 hour time difference. The Rams? They are travelling a day and a half before the game. Wednesday night for the Friday morning (Melbourne time) game. Much is being said about the Rams success in their three games in London, but their opponents were the Jags, Cards, and the Andy Dalton-led Bengals.

So, how much this factors into the success or failure of the game for the Niners remains to be seen. They both have to go through it, but the difference in timing is interesting.

Hah! The good old days. Our Serra Senior Cut Day (1979) took place at the Pulgas Water Temple on Canada Road out there by the Crystal Spring Reservoir. Turns out San Carlos High had the same idea, so naturally a near riot ensued. To the point where one of the Serra football players, in a standoff with a San Carlos guy, decided to show how tough he was by breaking a beer bottle over his own head.

Of course he started bleeding profusely, and some pushing and shoving happened, and 30-40 dudes were just tumbling around the parking lot. Us loadies of course were over by the reflecting pool playing frisbee, getting stoned and drinking our own beer, and generally staying out of the mix.

Being veterans of any party where more than 5 guys from Serra showed up to a party, the cops arrived. But we were already on our way to Half Moon Bay with 2 baggies full of shrooms and enough partiables to get through the day.

Sad thing is, that riot pretty much closed the Water Temple Parking lot, and the county put up No Parking signs a mile in each direction from the parking lot. I think that lot was closed for 15 years.

Anyhow, speaking of cuts, we don’t have a punter or long snapper. But I guess we have a few more guys to IR to clear space for them. I’m sure Week the LS is gonna be fine, but someone might pick our punter just to fuck with us.

Anyhow, here’s the list as it stands now. But there will be changes.

I really thought one of the 3 LBs (Wallow, Gifford, Martin) wouldn’t make it. But I think that is insurance for Greenlaw. Cowing AND Watkins also made the grade. Watkins showed out pretty well in that Raider game.

M Williams and I Guerendo are on the PUP list along with Pleasants and Pearsall. I guess the good news is Kittle and Bosa are not on it, but whether they play or not remains to be seen. Frankly I’d spare Bosa the 32 hours of plane travel, but I don’t get to make that call.

Getting close to the real thing. 2 weeks (and a few hours) from kickoff in fricking Melbourne, Australia.

This final preseason game tho is a short hop to Vegas. Given the state of injuries on the team, I’m not too too concerned as we will not play anyone that could even risk getting hurt more. And then 2 weeks to healthy up for the 16 hour flight to the bottom of the Earth.

Gee, I sure hope the newly formed Melbourne Convicts NFL team is put in the Western division. We all thought it was bad when Atlanta and New Orleans were part of the NFC West. This’ll be great.

Better make sure someone keeps an eye on Jed. Sin City can be pretty tempting.