Things Can Only Go Up From Here

Right? This is rock bottom? Jimmy was just rusty? Even though the week before it was ‘just like riding a bike’ and he was Mr. Swaggger? This team does nothing but infuriate me. Trey Lance plays his 3rd NFL game in a driving monsoon, scores 10 points on the road, makes one rookie mistake, and all the pundits come out of the ooze to crucify him for being a bust, a failure, and wasted pick.

Jimmy Garoppolo, a 9 year vet playing in his 65th game in perfect weather scores 10 points, makes 3 rookie mistakes (walking out of the end zone being the biggest, to go along with the INT and the obligatory Jimmy fumble), and all the pundits come out of the muck to defend him. Oh, he didn’t practice with the team. He was rusty. He just had surgery. He had a bad day. His Chi was in the 7th house of Mars. My take? Jimmy is an idiot.

Fuck, I don’t know. More annoying to me is the guy who architected all this madness is not catching any heat from the national media or the locals for the debacle that this offense is right now. Kyle Shamahan took a shitty team and made it respectable. Yet the onus on him even before he got here was his choking away a 25 point lead in the Atlanta Super Bowl. He took Matt Ryan and made him an MVP. Turned Matt Shaub into a Pro Bowl QB. RG III had a rookie-of-the-year season under Shanny.

So, what happened to Jimmy? He’s apparently immune to the Kyle effect. This far into Kyle’s tutelage, and Jimmy is still a one-read and panic QB. He takes unnecessary sacks, has no pocket awareness, and has the escapability of a snail. So, what is Kyle to do? Build the most boring, predictable offense he possibly can. I get that Kyle doesn’t want to take unnecessary risks throwing the ball too much, but he’s his own worst enemy when it comes to putting Jimmy in bad situations.

We saw the results. Quick passes on 1st down to start the game. It opened the run game on that 1st drive. Quick score. And Shanny’s response to that success was to stop doing it and go back to the prevent offense. Teams invariably catch up and pass us, so Kyle is forced to have Jimmy throw. When the other team KNOWS he has to throw. Trouble ensues.

I’ve pretty much given up on expecting anything decent from this team at this point, so I won’t be so angry if we end up getting waxed by the Rams. They looked pathetic early and rebounded.

Can we?

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Well, There You Go

Yes, the curse is tradeable. Not much to say about this one other than I saw this coming from a mile away. So done with this vanilla bullshit offense. The defense is being wasted by the likes of our crappy QB play, our predictable play calling, and the unreal sight of seeing our linebackers dropping 20 yards to prevent dump-offs and thius giving Wilson open space to scramble for whatever he needs to get the 1st down.

Too much bad shit to write about, but let’s start with this. I’ve been saying for oh, 4 years now that Shanahan need to throw more on 1st down. Mainly because we run on 1st down 99.95% of the time. So when we came out throwing on 1st down, I thought, great! Open things up! What happened? Guys were open, we drove down the field, and scored a TD.

Cool! What happened on the next 4 series? WE STOPPED THROWING ON 1ST DOWN. The result? FOUR punts. This is what I mean when I say Shanahan stops this offense more than ANY DC does. Kyle went into turtle mode halfway through the 1st quarter and didn’t let up until he had given up the lead.

Yeah, fumbles, pressure, blah blah blah. Jimmy looked pathetic. He STILL makes rookie mistakes. Taking a safety was a great play in that he threw a pick 6 after walking out of the end zone. He had Deebo wide open on a deep route but instead threw to Aiuyk double covered RIGHT underneath Deebo. Tipped away for an incompletion. He missed a 4 yard fucking slant on 3rd and 3. He threw into triple coverage for a pick. His ability to avoid pressure is worse than George Blanda. And he’s dead.

Another wasted game for the defense. They played well for the most part, but Ryan did somehting that bothers me no end. What kills me is seeing ALL the linebackers dropping 15 yards into coverage on a 3rd down and long late in the game and thus opening up the middle of the field for easy scrambles. It kept that FG drive going, and naturally we declined a holding call that would have pushed the Broncos out of FG range (we’re in fucking DENVER!) and they kicked the game winner.

Yet another stellar scoring barrage for the Shanahan offense. 3. But we only scored 2 for the other team rather than the 7 last week.

I had such high hopes for this team this season, but I’m flat disgusted now. Shanahan is killing this team. I hope Jed comes out of his hole and says SOMETHING about the state of the franchise. We look like a sub-.500 team right now and that is absolutely atrocious.

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Is the Curse Tradeable?

Russell Wilson is something like 17-4 against us. Will his magic domination, a domination that saw the near-NFC champs still lose twice to him last season, come to pass now that he’s in Denver? A place where dreams go to die? Where ol’ horseface has been searching for a legit QB since the crippled and barely able Peyton (call me Ichabod) Manning won a Super Bowl by merely standing there and handing the ball off?

Things have not gone well so far for the Broncos. They managed to play an opening game worse that ours. They had the ball inside the 3 THREE times and came away with a field goal. Fumbling twice in the process. They had 12 penalties.

Ouch. Their win was over the wet and soggy Houston Teabags. A stellar 16-9 win. The offense 7th in yards, but 24th scoring. Fumbling on the goal line does that. The run game is decent at 10th and the passing is decent at 11th. Their fucking defense is 3rd in yards per game, and tied for 3rd with us for points per game.

So, what the fuck?

We of course are coming off an epic fuckup. But somehow, there are pundits out there are calling this a good thing. As if having Jimmy the Geek running the team is suddenly just what the doctor ordered. Because you know, developing Lance is just too hard for Shanahan. His thought process seemed to be, well, I’ll run the shit out of him now and let him throw later, after he’s been through the tackle box 3-400 times. Ooops. Only 3 times? Well, I got Jimmy!!!

I’m completely at a loss as to what happens tomorrow. The Shanaplan seems to be run the skill players into the line until they break. I thought this was the main issue with Deebo this offseason, and why we drafted TDP. Oh, yeah. Hurt. We even had Jimmy pining for the glory days of 2017 when Jimmy took over the team and flung the ball all over the place. Will his coach let him? Or will we see the return of the Vanilla Mike Nolan/Aluminium Mike Singletary/Snappy Khaki Jim Harbaugh/Jimmy Bagadonuts boring-ass run run offense?

The ONLY offensive coach we ever had was one year wonder Chip Davis, but he was given a team that had lost all their playmakers, and Colin Kaepernick couldn’t score enough to overcome the league’s worst defense.

Oh well, Game on. I’d like to think this one will be another of the easy variety, but as we saw last week, Shanahan has the amazing ability to keep our opponents close when we should be going for the jugular a little bit more.

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It Has Been Shanny All Along

I think we all know this, but Jimmy pretty much confirmed what we all know. I’ve given Grant Cohn a ton of shit (rightly, IMO) regarding his interactions with the team and some of the players he makes a living on ragging, but he was asking Jimmy G about the game last week and said:

COHN: After the game, you said it felt like 2017 again. You really were pushing the ball downfield in that game more than you had the past couple seasons. Is that something you want to do this season — push the ball downfield more?

GAROPPOLO: I love that, yeah. There’s a lot of things that go with that obviously, but yeah, I love doing that stuff. In ’17, there was a freedom, where me and the receivers and the tight ends, we had a good chemistry going. When you get that with offensive skill players and quarterback, it makes for a tough offense.

COHN: Do you feel you had that freedom last week just because you were coming off the bench or do you anticipate having it the rest of the season?

GAROPPOLO: I don’t know. That’s a fair question. I think we’ll see that as we go forward. The more freedom you have as a quarterback, you’ll play better, you’re more confident and good things will happen.

Pretty open about having to play in the system that Shanahan is pushing, which is run the ball and low-risk passes, little downfield action, and pretty much a snoozefest that results in little scoring in the 2nd half. As we all know all too well.

Granted, Garoppolo is rarely perfectly healthy like he is now, and he’s susceptible to bumps and bruises that throw him off pretty badly, so this will be a fluid situation. But, hey, if Jimmy can get Shanny to wrestle his foot off the motherfucking brakes and hit the gas, I’m all for it.

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Oh, Fuck

As shitty as the news is around Trey Lance, just imagine if (when?) Jimmy the Greek goes down. Brock (you shore got a) Purdy (mouth) is our #2 right now, but don’t fret! We have brought in Kurt Benkert, AJ McCarron, Garrett Gilbert, Kevin Hogan, and Mike Glennon in for tryouts!! Yes, THAT Mike McGlennon.

What? No Tim Tebow? Mark Sanchez? Nate Sudfuck? Colin Kaepernick? Fuck, I’d think CK would be better than these stiffs, but I don’t even know who Kurt Benkert, or Garrett Gilbert are so it’s hard to even say.

The thing about Jimmy G is every little setback seems to really break his confidence. Whether it’s simply a big hit, or a hurt finger, or a sore shoulder, he never seems to be right when it comes to the end of the season. So, hopefully we won’t be seeing Kurt (?) Benkert any time soon.

This could be a fucking wash of a season very soon. And I’ll be supremely bummed if this season swirls down the drain due to the misguided play calling of Kyle (what, me give a shit?) Shanahan.

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Sleepless in Sea . . . Denver?

Except for the obvious (did you enjoy the play, Mrs. Lincoln?) the 49ers came out of their home opener with a fairly solid win. Yeah, it’s Jimmy time again. Yeah, we won pretty handily. Yeah, it should have been much more gleeful as it was Seattle, our nemesis for oh, the entire Pete Carroll/Russell Wilson tenure.

But (there’s always a big but) scheduling vagaries being what they are, we get to face RW in Denver on Sunday Night Football. Interesting only in that fact. Denver looks for all intents and purposes to be the doormat of the AFC West. They BARELY squeezed out a turd of a victory against the hapless Russ’s old team when Seattle fumbled TWICE inside the 3, and gagged up another opportunity with false starts and other dumb mistakes to take the lead, but never did.

Frankly I was a little more worried than I am now. Wilson isn’t nearly the force he was. He isn’t hitting the long passes like he was, and he’s struggling over the middle, and isn’t very consistent. New team/new system I suppose, but this is another game that we should be able to win. Wilson did hit a lot of passes, but missed a lot as well. 14/31 for 201 with a pick and a TD. And 150 on the ground. But, Houston.

The 49ers? Well, we al know the bad news. The good news is the 49ers committed ONE penalty (a 26 yard PI) after the fuck-a-row shit-show 10 penalty effort in Chicago. The O line played well, we only gave up 1 sack, and we ran for 186 yards and threw for 184. Solid across the board.

Defensively, Tualoa Hufanga is playing off the charts spectacular. He should have gotten the game ball vs Chicago had we not gagged that one up. Bosa is getting held with regularity and is still getting pressure. The interior line is a bit weaker without DJ Jones in there, and Kinlaw is fairly inconsistent.

But RW isn’t the RW of old, so we just have to contain him in the pocket. Von Miller is von Miller, but amazingly, he didn’t record a tackle in the Houston game. They did get 3 sacks and only gave up 234 yards. But, again. Houston. Davis Mills is OK, but if we can’t outplay him we are bad.

Then agains, there’s the Shanahan factor of never wanting to get too big a lead. He never met a lead he couldn’t squander.

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Awful Win

Not much to say other than Shanahan should go. He said in the pisser of a presser after the game that he plans on calling the same plays going forward with Lance in the game should he come back. In other words, he’s more than ready to risk Lance’s health to win games. Lance has played 3.25 games and he has 53 rushes. Sure, some are scrambles, but most of them aren’t.

Shanahan gives no fucks about the guy he traded three first round picks for. He seems hell-bent on getting the QB of the future hurt. I simply do not get it. And then he has the gall to say “it was a football play” “other teams do it all the time” “Baltimore and Buffalo do it”.

So? Does Buffalo run Allen between the tackles 3 times in the 1st quarter? I was pissed at Shamahan after the Super Bowl loss. I was more pissed after the NFCCG last season. Same blown leads, same failure. How do we start the season? Another 10 point collapse. Shanny snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

Now this. Folks are saying that these play calls obviously means that Lance isn’t ready. But then again, how do we know this? Have they done anything more than run a vanilla offense with Lance for the most part? Of course. Shamahan has nothing on Vanilla Mike Nolan. Shit, look at our 2nd half. We couldn’t have played more turtle-like. Shanny never met a lead he didn’t want to fritter away. We get to the red zone and do we play action? Nope. Run run run, blocked FG for TD.

It felt like another 2nd half collapse was on the way but Seattle is vastly inferior to the Rams or Chiefs, and they didn’t take advantage of our wimpy offense. What should be a well-deserved gloat of beating the shot out of the Seahawks is instead an indictment of our head coach’s pig-headedness.

Nice game by the defense. Talafoa Hufanga has played phenomenal these 2 games. Pass rush was decent.

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Must Win Game? Week Two Worries

Here we are, week 2, we are already down our starting RB Elijah Mitchell for 2 months. Our TE, formerly known has Stone Cold George Kittle, is now Brittle Kittle. He is following the career arc of one Crystal Todd Shell, whose outstanding start to his football career (2 sacks and 3 picks, one for a TD his first season) was cut short by his 3rd year due to numerous injuries, and he was done with the game after his 4th year.

And here we are. down one game to the Seahawks. In week one. Everyone else lost, and they were expected to. Ans should have. Had not Denver fumbled the ball TWICE inside the 2, and failed on a third trip to the goal line. Seattle has been a thorn in our side since Pete Carroll was hired 12 years ago. The 49ers are a dismal 7-18 (including the 2014 NFCCG) in the Cheatin’ Pete era. Different teams, different QBs, different stadiums, different everything, Pete has our number. The song remains the same. Even now, despite all this they are 10 point ‘dogs to us. Us! The team the couldn’t do a damn thing right vs another supposedly weak team, the Chicago Bears.

But that was last week. Thing is, should we go down to the ‘Hawks, no matter by what measure, the howling for Jimmy G will be deafening. I could really give a shit. The only way I think they should make a switch is if Lance gets hurt. He HAS to take his lumps to learn the NFL game. Just like the 6-11 Justin Fields did last year. Just like the 3-14 Trevor Lawrence Jags did. Even the 10-7 Jac Mones Patriots.

There is only so much you learn from practice and clip-board holding. The O line, which seems to have played better on paper than they did on the field last weekend, needs to keep Lance much cleaner than they did vs the Bears. Neither team comes in having a very stout pass rush, but that didn’t stop the Bears from getting pressure with ZERO blitzes, and dropping 7 ment into coverage.

This game to me will tell me if Shanahan has learned anything this season. I’m sick of the numerous penalties. Sick of the false starts. Sick of the vanilla offense. Sick of losing ur starting RB to start the season. Again. Granted, this all leads back to the shortened preseason and the lack of pad-to-pad contact in the preseason.

But Shanahan needs to figure out a simple fucking rollout where the RT and TE don’t just run away and leave the rushers unblocked. Fuck me sideways, I see that shit all the time.

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Home Opener Coming Up

AKA, hopeless vs Seattle. Looks like this is shaping up to be another confusing mess of a season. Seattle, the team i think is going to hit the skids, even more so now without Russell Wilson, stands atop the NFC West with a hugely bizarre game against Russell Wilson’s new team. If humanly possible, Denver played a worse game that the 49ers. 3 trips inside the 3 to take the lead resulted in 2 fumbles, myriad penalties, and a grand total of 3 points.

Denver coach Nate Hackett (49ers QB coach Paul Hackett’s son) decided to run the clock down with 45 seconds and a 4th and 5 from the Seattle 48 yard line. A 65 yard FG. You have Russell Wilson for fuck’s sake. Go for it.

Anyhow, Geno Smith came out throwing short passes very effectively and got Seattle in the end zone twice for a 17-10 halftime lead. the 2nd half was a little more real as Seattle did nothing on offense and Denver marched up and down the field only to fumble away their chances. And their 12 penalties didn’t help.

What does that mean for the 49ers? Who knows? Are we as bad as that Bears game? Ask the Rams. Or the Cowboys. Well, the Cowboys ARE fucked with Dak out 2 months. One thing about Shanahan that I have to give him credit for is he usually comes back strong after a terrible loss. The 49ers started their run after that completely demoralizing loss to the Cards at home last year.

We are down our #1 RB again. But beyond that, we didn’t have too many injuries. Javon Kinlaw missed a few plays with an ankle sprain, but he came back and played.

Tell ya one thing, falling behind Seattle 2 games to open the season would be a bitch. Shanny and Co better devise some better protections for Lance in this game. Seattle’s defense played pretty well last night, and we know how snakebit Shanny is by Carroll.

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Week One Weirdness

I’m in a pick ’em football tourney, and wow. 6-9. I’m hoping I reach 7 tonight with the Broncos beating the hapless 0-3 NFC West denizens, Seattle.

But, the Super Bowl teams were both losers. The Giants beat Tennessee, KC did fine without T Hill, Miami won with T Hill, Green Bay did horrible without DaVante Adams, the Raiders lost WITH DaVante Adams, and a bunch of these games were decided in the end on either missed or made FGs. Cincy missed an extra point with no time left to win as their long snapped got hurt, and the Steelers won in OT. Indy and Houston played to a tie.

Then there’s us. What should have been a nice tune up win turned into a penalty-filled shit-fest as the defense committed 3 penalties on 3rd down to extend 3 different drives, both the offense and defense disappeared in the 2nd half to allow the 19 unanswered points, the Bears were singing in the rain after being outplayed for 3 quarters.

A very familiar story in the Shanahan era. Blowing leads late. Ever since that amazingly disastrous Super Bowl when OC Kyle Shanahn led the Falcons from a 28-3 lead to a 34-28 defeat at the hands of Tom Brady (31 unaswered points!), he’s had an amazing knack of gagging down the stretch. Whether by being too aggressive (Falcon game) too conservative (NFCCG, KC Super Bowl), goes wimpy on defense (yesterday), or whatever, Shanahan with a lead in the 4th quarter seems to be the kiss of death for the team.

Chicago started the game paying conservative, and it didn’t work. By the 3rd quarter however, Chicago tried going deeper with their passes. It didn’t really work until the ONE broken play to Pettis. It changed the entire dynamic. After that play the Niners defense played off the WRs to prevent the big play, and instead gave up easy short passes. So, we allowed them to go back to their original formula of short passes to slowly march down the field. All the pressure that we had put on Fields vanished as Chicago negated our pass rush with quick passes and decent runs.

Our run game was non-existent. Even though we got 176 yards on the ground, only 63 came from the RBs. Deebo, who is not even a part of the passing game anymore (2 catches, 14 yards), got 54 yards, and Lance 52. Mitchell is likely out for a long time, and Wilson isn’t gonna make anyone forget Raheem Mostert. Run blocking was bad, and pass blocking was worse. The Bears 4 man rush got pressure all game, and we did nothing to negate that. Dropping 7 guys into coverage allowed the Bears to stop our passing game.

We were out-coached.

Here’s an idea, Shanny. Since you insist on using Deebo as a running back, THROW to him out of the backfield. This would force defenses to cover him with a linebacker/safety.

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