San Francisco 49ers Forever

A funny thing happened on the way to the usual dick-tripping-over-late-game clusterfuck-catastrophe this team seems to have perfected. They got ept late in the game! You know, the opposite of inept. After stumbling, bumbling, dropping passes, and penalty-ing their way to a 13-9 deficit at the half in Soldier Field, Chicago, the 49ers awoke from their four-and-a-half game malaise and strung together some competent compelling football in the 2nd half.

After giving up a field goal to start the 2nd half that put the Niners down 16-9, the 49ers scored TOUCHDOWNS on THREE straight drives to put a game but fair-to-middling team out of their misery. The Niners even added a FG on their 4th drive. Amazingly Shanny did a couple notable things. He went no-huddle to stop the Bears from subbing out their defense and quickened the tempo to attack their defense. He made adjustments!! He threw deep!! And. It. Fucking. WORKED! If not for a bad pass by Jimmy after the 50 yard bomb to Samuel, the 49ers would have gone into halftime up 14-13. Shanny also overcame a 7+ point 2nd half deficit for the first time. Strange as that may sound, he’s never done that. Maybe the old sod is learning something. He also stuck with the run game even when the game was not decided yet. Mitchell had a fantastic day, as did Deebo. Mitchell had 137 yards, and Deebo 171 in their respective positions. Brandon Aiyuk even had 4 for 45.

Gone were the sideline out routes that get picked off. Jimmy looked very solid throwing on the move, and hitting passes over the middle. You know, the stuff he does well. Kinda nice that the coach sticks with what the quarterback does well. Jimmy even added a couple rushing TDs to punctuate his homecoming. Best play of the game however was the 3rd down and 20 *gulp* bubble screen that Deebo took for 83 yards and a near-score.

The defense? Well, they had their usual problems with a guy like Justin Fields. A mobile guy who ran for over 100 yards, but we also got to him for 4 sacks. His 23 yard TD run 4th down run nearly cost me my remote. I’ll tell you one thing, it irks me to no end to see Nick Bosa flying inside on fakes and completely giving up the edge. This has been an issue with him since his entrance into the NFL, but it doesn’t take away the impact he has on the field. he and his invisible pass rushing budy Arik Armstead are on the field a lot more than they should be, but with everyone going down on defense, we are what we are. The walking wounded.

The Niners played the CBs WAY off the WRs early presumably to avoid the slew of PI calls that they have been suffering. it sure allowed for a lot of easy throws for Fields, and it was infuriating to watch, but as the game moved along, the coverage got a little tighter, and the line got more and more pressure. Fields ended up going 17/27 but only 175 yards. Jimmy G for comparison was 17/28 for a much better 328. Running, Herbert and Fields ended up with 175 yards between them but, man we are down to third string linebackers and 2nd string D linemen all across the line. Along with the injuries to our secondary.

Anyhow, this isn’t a huge deal, but hey, it sure feels better to win a game like this rather than lose. Can they build on this? Maybe. But Shanahan needs to put together a game plan that works for an entire game to be able to beat teams like the Cards and the Rams. Our next two opponents. If we want to reel in the teams above us, winning the next 2 games will go a long way in getting there. It’s a long fucking season and we aren’t even halfway done.

Well, probably not. I foresee Trey Lance getting on the field to start the 3rd quarter as the brain-freeze head coach struggles through another game. Hopefully Lance gets some passes to throw to go along with the 20 rushing attempts. Getting hard to feel anything but anger and sadness about a team that was looking like they were heading in the right direction when John Lynch and Kyle Shanahan came aboard.

Here we are 4+ seasons later dealing with injuries yet again, a quarterback controversy regarding lame-duck QB Jimmy G and future question mark Trey Lance, a porous and ineffective offensive line, a patchwork quilt of old and lousy cornerbacks, and a slew of draft day misses. The braintrust of Lynch and Shanny have cobbled together one solid season, a Super Bowl loss, in 4+ years, and a 31-39 record.

19-36 minus the outlier season. I just don’t know about this team. My quickest solution would be to hire/promote a play caller. Shanny is sucking hard. Ater the season, re-evaluate Shanahan and maybe move on if this year isn’t salvaged.

As far as the rest? We’ll see by the end of the season.

Here we are at week 8 of the season, sitting at 2-4. The Bears game is *gulp* winnable. Right? I thought so about the Packers, Cards, Seahawks, and Colts, but that was based on us playing to our abilities. Not fucking up and stalling 3 out of every 4 drives. Thing is, we were in all those games. Till the end. But I digress.

Anyhow, the trade deadline is coming Tuesday November 2nd. First and foremost to me for trade bait would be Jimmy the G. The obvious partner for trades would be Kyle’s daddy’s team, the hapless Denver Broncos. You know, the team with the HOF QB who can’t find a viable quarterback with 100 draft picks and 50 free agent signings. Their history of epic fails at draft picks include Drew Lock, Braxton Lynch, Tim Tebow, Trevor Siemian, Brock Osweiler, and Jay (pick 6) Cutler. Since Peyton Manning was the game manager at large, they have also tried, Teddy Bridgewater, Joe Flacco, Jeff Driskell, Brandon Allen, and UDFA Brett Rypien.

A who’s who of mediocrity. Not that we are in much better shape, but at least we have Trey Lance. I’d say get what you can for Jimmy. A 2nd rounder? Story is, we turned down a trade with the Patriots for Jimmy for a 2nd rounder before draft day. His value may have dropped some, but I still think we can work ol’ Horseface for a deal. He’s desperate beyond reason just trying to find a warm body that is serviceable at this point.

Strange that Elway didn’t go for Fields OR Jones in the draft, but there you go. Buffoonery at its finest.

Any other trades you would like to see?

Frankly I’d like to see Kyle go before the year ends so we have a new OC to work with our new quarterback.

Man, the 49ers sure can pick ’em. Yet another first round pick, Javon Kinlaw, is getting his knee examined yet again, and is likely to go under the knife and miss the rest of this shit-show of a season. Lynch and Shanny sure have a knack for finding lousy 1st round picks in their tenure as the brain trust to rebuild the team. Using my handy dandy right side menu, out 1st round picks under this regime are:

2021: Trey Lance
2020: Javon Kinlaw, Brandon Aiyuk
2019: Nick Bosa
2018: Mike McGlinchey
2017: Solomon Thomas, Reuben Foster

Of the 7 first round picks, 2 are gone (Solly, Reuben), 2 have missed significant time (Kinlaw, Bosa), 1 has underwhelmed (McGlinchey), 1 is in the doghouse (Aiyuk), and one is coming off an injury after playing ONE game. Lance of course. His injury is more in the way he was grossly misused in his game.

Of the seven, one, namely Nick Bosa, has lived up to the spot he was drafted. Yes, the book is not written on Lance, but that is for another day. It is about the impact picks they made that have yielded squat. Then there is 2nd rounder Dante Pettis, 3rd rounder Jalen Hurd, both contributed little to nothing. Current draft 3rd round guys Ambry Thomas and Trey Sermon are iffy at best.

Funny thing is, they’ve hit paydirt lower in the draft all over the place:

Jaylon Moore, our 5th round LT looks very tough and has stepped in for Trent Williams to the point of Williams not being missed.
Talanoa Hufanga looks solid. As does starting RB Elijah Mitchell. Both 5th rounders.
Backup TE and WR Woerner and Jennings are 6th and 7th rounders. Not that Jennings has done much.
Dre Greenlaw, 5th round LB is a huge find and is playing at the highest level. He will hopefully be back soon.
Justin Skule, 6th round pick in 2018 is solid enough.
D.J. Reed was a 5th round pick that we let slip away.
And of course George Kittle, and D.J. Jones in the 2017 draft.

The middling guys are all pretty much gone, so there’s a wide disparity in these drafts. If they had hit on the high picks, you have to wonder how much better this team could be.

But, hey, Khalil Mack is out for the Bears. So there’s that.

Well, here we are. Jimmy G gets his kiss on the lips from Michael Corleone. I’m about 98% sure that this will be Jimmy the Picks’s last start as a 49er. He may not even make it through the game given the way things have gone. Problem is, this isn’t solely on Jimmy’s shoulders. A lot of the issues with this offense lie squarely in Kyle Shanahan’s oversized ego-tripping head. He is turning into his father. An impossibly rigid unyielding coach who routinely and needlessly imparted his will on players for small misdeeds, and minor screw-ups, and never bends to any outside feedback.

Shanahan’s play calling has been atrocious this year, and he continues to not do well by his QBs. Frist drive last game, Jimmy on the move was able to complete easy short passes that gained yards and set up the run nicely. The drive late in the 3rd quarter, Jimmy rolled out and was able to connect on a couple big chunk plays and score on 3 passes. Naturally those were the only times Shanahan moved Jimmy in the pocket. The rest of the game was throws to the flat, hurried balls that were defended, a couple picks, a bunch of punts, sacks, and a fumble.

So, the question is, when does Lance get his shot? Unfortunately, I don’t want it to be soon, because we already saw how Kyle thinks Lance should be used. And that is like Derrick Henry. He’s a 15-20 carry guy, not the starting QB they paid through the nose to draft.

This to me is another case of Shanahan flexing his ego and saying “I am bigger and more important than any quarterback that we happen to draft. He will run MY plays as I see fit. Your health and development be damned.”

And this is my worry. I’m sure Lance can survive the rigors of a typical NFL season as our starter, but not as a guy carrying the ball even 10 times a game. At least not on designed runs. Toss him. Put in Mike McDaniel as the interim guy and go get a guy like Nathaniel Hackett. He’s a proven offensive guy, turning every stop into a turnaround. He’s now the OC of the Packers, and is steeped in the West Coast offense, and zone blocking schemes, so he wouldn’t have to do a lot of re-tooling.

And the kicker is he’s Joe Montana’s old QB coach Paul Hackett’s son.

Or there’s Brian Daboll, the offensive architect of the Buffalo Bills and Josh Allen. Or Eric Bieniemy, OC of the Chiefs. All these guys are solid at creating mismatches on theoffensive side of the ball. Something we sorely lack. Shanny finds a weakness and ignores it. Good job, skippy.

There are countless other guys, Bryan Leftwich, Joe Brady, on and on, but this team NEEDS to get out from under Shanahan now rather than later. Before he does more damage,

Like toilets through the parking lot, these are the games of our season. Yes, like Levi’s stadium port-a-potties, this season is going sideways in a hurry. The 49ers, coming off a bye week, proceeded to lay another stinking turd on their home field in front of a stoic and heroic crowd of about 40,000 who braved the torrential rain and wind to witness a colossal fuck-fest of fumbles, penalties, and general ineptitude. The Colts, who play indoors, looked like the seasoned outdoor team, while we looked like the Keystone Kops. The most emblematic play was dog house denizen Brandon Aiyuk, who missed, then booted and chased a muffed punt 35 yards backwards into the end zone. If not for the arcane rules around punts, it would have been a safety, but we got the ball on the 20.

That was one of our highlights.

Well, not really.

The 49ers came out like the team we thought they were. A crisp 8 play 78 yard drive punctuated by some tough inside running by Elijah Mitchell, and some nice easy throws on rollouts by Jimmy G. So, naturally we stopped running at that point. Jonathan Taylor fumbled on his first rushing attempt, and Shanny got a nice 12 yard run with Mitchell. Then pass for 0, incomplete incomplete. FG. Not horrible, but one would think that with the running game working in the shit conditions, run!

Mind-boggling to me is 2 of these early drives were stopped by 3rd down deep balls to . . . the smallest guy on the field, JaMycal Hasty. Hey, he’s a decent 3rd string RB, but what the actual fuck? You develop plays for him on deep routes? At the expense of Brandon Aiyuk? Infuriating. But that was the least of the issues. after the 2nd Skye FG, a 56 yarder in the slop put the Niners up 12-7, the Niners went 3-and-out, 3-and-out, 3-and-out, fumble, end of half, Jimmy fumble, punt.

The 2nd drive that Shanny rolled Jimmy around created misdirection passing was even more precise. 3 plays, 70 yards, TD to Samuel. Again, we stopped that style of play. And after holding Indy to a FG and the Niners still in range to take the lead, Jimmy threw his usual stupid sideline pass into traffic that was picked off. Indy scores their last TD, game over.

Defensively I really think DB coach Cory Undlin (yeah I had to look him up), must be teaching these guys to never look for the ball, and to hug the nearest WR on every deep ball. Moseley literally hugged Ashton Dulin for 10 yards down the sideline and was amazed he was called for a penalty. We lead the league by far in PI calls. and yesterday we had 5 more. 2 were of course caught anyway so they weren’t accepted. But ALL those penalties extended drives and gave Indy points. Til their last drive, Indy had more yards on PI calls (97) than actual yards in the air (87).

Brilliant. So, here we are in year 5 of the Shanahan era, and this team looks like an expansion franchise in year 1 . 7 penalties for 122 yards. Numerous false starts, illegal formations, and of course, PIs. Shanahan stresses ball control, but we are 7th in most giveaways (11), and 4th in worst differential (-7). the defense has played well but for the obligatory 3rd down deep ball PI calls.

We played a sub-.500 team and made them look like world-beaters. Jonathan Taylor ran for 107, Wentz had little pressure on him as Arik Armstead has disappeared as a pass rusher, and Nick Bosa can only do so much. Ford just can’t get on the field enough to be a force out there, but they did force what ended up being call a fumble on a dumb attempt by Wentz to throw a shovel pass that was picked by Al-Shaair.

Again, we had our chances to put this game away, and again, mistakes and penalties killed us. Shanny came across as baffled as to how and why the train is so far off the rails. He’d better figure something out soon. The whole NFC is filled with ~.500 teams and we are by no means out of the WC hunt.

Bill Walsh was known for finding his opponent’s weakness and EXPLOITING IT until, THEY figured out how to stop it. The absolute motherfucker to all this is Shanny stops his OWN progress. Infuriating. Shanny designed some great plays. HE FUCKING STOPPED DOING THEM. Like Harbaugh before him, he seems to think that he’s sofa king smart that he can outsmart himself. ALL THE TIME. Over and over.

So here we are at 2-4 and flailing. I mean, fuck we can’t even tank for draft picks. I’m at a loss to even wonder why Jimmy G should get another start. Unless Shanny keeps with WHAT FUCKING WORKS with Jimmy G. Those are the exact kind of plays that they should be designing for Trey Lance anyway. HE needs to get comfortable throwing on the move, and finding seams to run in occasionally.

If Shanny thinks he’s got Derrick Henry as his QB, Lance will be out of the league by the end of the season. And he should just let Jimmy G get smashed repeatedly behind his porous line. Cannon fodder until we find our next head coach for the 2022 season.

Sorry. Anyhow, the injury parade rolls along even during the bye week as Trent Williams and Javon (damaged goods) Kinlaw will miss tomorrow’s game against the Colts. Kinlaw’s knee tendonitis was known before he was drafted and it is why some teams shied away from him in the draft. And his predecessor DeFoBu is playing at a pro bowl level for the Ponies. This is worrisome as this team has plenty of healthy players that get injured, let alone ones who are already damaged (hello Dee Ford) goods before playing a down for us. 5 years of this and we’ve had one season of relative health.

But hey, everyone gets injured in the NFL, and one bad injury can sideline an entire season. Just ask Russell Wilson and the Seahawks. We’ll see how they do the next 3 weeks without him. But given the competition in the NFC West, the hope is we can stay ahead of them for the foreseeable future as he tries to get his finger back.

Us? Christ. Who knows. We have a couple ‘easy’ games on our sched in the Colts and Bears before we get back into the meat of the West. The hope is Shanahan has come up with some plays that will actually work. We have Mitchell, Sermon and Hasty back, so the run game should get back on track. Something that pretty much drives the Shanny offense.

Still and all, will that get the ball out of Jimmy’s hand faster? Will it speed up his progressions? He looks so indecisive these days, and the sub-par pass pro doesn’t help. Will we see Nate Sudfeld tomorrow? Like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of our lives.

Defensively, well, Carson Wentz has played pretty well for a little but, but please. Any kind of pass rush and we SHOULD be able to win fairly handily. But there is nothing easy about this season. Fucking Detroit almost took us down. And that was when we were healthy.

When I’m pilled you don’t notice him . . .
He only comes out when I drink my gin.

Stop me if you’ve heard this. Jimmy G looks to regain his form after coming off an injury. Mr. Inconsistent has another chance to ignore Brandon Aiyuk, but can’t try to kill George Kittle as he’s out yet again, no thanks to some ill-advised passes from said Dr. Jimmy. I really hope this 2 week break has given our ‘genius’ offensive mind time to figure out how to get players open and not get his quarterbacks killed. Granted, the pass protection leaves a lot to be desired, so this means quick passes and draws.

Unfortunately, everyone knows this bit of strategy and these plays haven’t been working. Reminiscent of our last 5 coaching staffs and their reluctance to throw deep given the pass pro problems. You’d think that at some point, they’d either figure out how to fix the line problems, but it is still a work in progress. McGlinchey and Brunskill both struggled mightily vs JJ Watt and the Cards last game, and who’s to say we have answers now?

These types of plays of course are predicated on our run game. Which has vanished in a cloud of injuries. Wilson didn’t make it out of the locker room. Mostert had 1 carry, Sermon was nearly killed on his first carry, and Mitchell has been battling shoulder injuries of his own since his first game. Hard to build a consistent run game when you are signing practice squad guys from other teams just to fill out your roster for game day. So, with no run game to speak of, the short passing game doesn’t work as defenses play us up close and personal.

Which is why this team needs to run 4-5 WR sets and spread the field ALL THE TIME. This at least gets SOME guys out of the box. It MAY open a lane or 2 in the run game and it MAY open up some quick passes. That is if Jimmy can find them. They also need to throw the ball downfield. Just to show it, more than anything. Put Aiyuk on the edge and throw it to him deep. It doesn’t even have to be real deep. Just enough to show teams that we know how do it. Seattle makes a living getting PI calls on plays like that. Us? Never. Come on Kyle. Come up with something new and different to get your playmakers the ball.

Say what you will about the sub-par performance of the team, at least to the outside world, there doesn’t appear to be dissention in the ranks. Jimmy G seems to be well-liked despite his mediocre results and frequent injuries. Lance had his one shot and was done in by his head coach who seemed hell-bent on killing him his first game. Starting your first game is hard enough in the NFL without your head coach saying ‘yeah, you carry the rock 16 times. You carry the team. We’ll rest our weary RBs while you take all the punishment.’

So, here we are in Week 7. We have a couple winnable games in Indy and Chicago. Games the defense should be able to dominate. Wentz is Wentz and is good for a pick or 2 with any kind of pressure. Chicago? Who knows? They are in a similar spot as we are, but they went ahead and made the switch to the rook Justin Fields. We’ll worry about Indy first. If Jimmy can’t win this game, then his tenure should be done as well

Might as well be now what with both our quarterbacks being hurt, and Kyle Shanahan’s hell-bent mission to get Nate Sudfeld on the field, and to coach himself out of his current job. Bummed about the Giants and how the season ended, but the bats went cold at the wrong time and the usual horrible umpiring. How Angel Hernandez gets a playoff nod is baffling to say the least. He’s year after year the worst at calling balls and strikes.

Anyhow, the football season is ready to spiral out of control as well, so this could be another long season of disappointment. Shanahan is not coaching well, and his play calling leaves a lot to be desired. I get being aggressive on 4th down, but you’d damn well do better 1 for 5 on 4th down. And 3 for 11 on 3rd down, for that matter. Shanny even said the play to Juice on the sneak was blown somehow. Yeah, it was blown because AZ saw the earlier tape and loaded the middle when they made the shift. Whatevs.

Point being, we are once again in flux as jimmy g was not playing very well before his injury, Shanny tried to kill his newly drafted QB, and the O line is still fairly porous in pass pro. We are 5 years into this current regime, and the team has no offensive identity, all the RBs are hurt again, and our WRs are either hurt or underused. Kittle is hurt again. Aiyuk is in the invisible doghouse, Samuel is doing well, but no one else has stepped up.

The season is early, and we have some fluff coming up, but we also have AZ again, and our first Ram game. These next 3 games will determine a lot the season. Beat the Cards and Rams and we are at least in the vicinity of the top. Otherwise, it is another lost season of disarray and disappointment.

And likely a coaching change.

Rams play the Giants in the house of horrors that is New Jersey, AZ plays the Browns on the road so there’s some hope there, andthe scuffling Seahawks play the scuffling Steelers on the road as well, so the hope is these home teams take care of business.

Game 5. What more is there to say?