Going Sideways

Like toilets through the parking lot, these are the games of our season. Yes, like Levi’s stadium port-a-potties, this season is going sideways in a hurry. The 49ers, coming off a bye week, proceeded to lay another stinking turd on their home field in front of a stoic and heroic crowd of about 40,000 who braved the torrential rain and wind to witness a colossal fuck-fest of fumbles, penalties, and general ineptitude. The Colts, who play indoors, looked like the seasoned outdoor team, while we looked like the Keystone Kops. The most emblematic play was dog house denizen Brandon Aiyuk, who missed, then booted and chased a muffed punt 35 yards backwards into the end zone. If not for the arcane rules around punts, it would have been a safety, but we got the ball on the 20.

That was one of our highlights.

Well, not really.

The 49ers came out like the team we thought they were. A crisp 8 play 78 yard drive punctuated by some tough inside running by Elijah Mitchell, and some nice easy throws on rollouts by Jimmy G. So, naturally we stopped running at that point. Jonathan Taylor fumbled on his first rushing attempt, and Shanny got a nice 12 yard run with Mitchell. Then pass for 0, incomplete incomplete. FG. Not horrible, but one would think that with the running game working in the shit conditions, run!

Mind-boggling to me is 2 of these early drives were stopped by 3rd down deep balls to . . . the smallest guy on the field, JaMycal Hasty. Hey, he’s a decent 3rd string RB, but what the actual fuck? You develop plays for him on deep routes? At the expense of Brandon Aiyuk? Infuriating. But that was the least of the issues. after the 2nd Skye FG, a 56 yarder in the slop put the Niners up 12-7, the Niners went 3-and-out, 3-and-out, 3-and-out, fumble, end of half, Jimmy fumble, punt.

The 2nd drive that Shanny rolled Jimmy around created misdirection passing was even more precise. 3 plays, 70 yards, TD to Samuel. Again, we stopped that style of play. And after holding Indy to a FG and the Niners still in range to take the lead, Jimmy threw his usual stupid sideline pass into traffic that was picked off. Indy scores their last TD, game over.

Defensively I really think DB coach Cory Undlin (yeah I had to look him up), must be teaching these guys to never look for the ball, and to hug the nearest WR on every deep ball. Moseley literally hugged Ashton Dulin for 10 yards down the sideline and was amazed he was called for a penalty. We lead the league by far in PI calls. and yesterday we had 5 more. 2 were of course caught anyway so they weren’t accepted. But ALL those penalties extended drives and gave Indy points. Til their last drive, Indy had more yards on PI calls (97) than actual yards in the air (87).

Brilliant. So, here we are in year 5 of the Shanahan era, and this team looks like an expansion franchise in year 1 . 7 penalties for 122 yards. Numerous false starts, illegal formations, and of course, PIs. Shanahan stresses ball control, but we are 7th in most giveaways (11), and 4th in worst differential (-7). the defense has played well but for the obligatory 3rd down deep ball PI calls.

We played a sub-.500 team and made them look like world-beaters. Jonathan Taylor ran for 107, Wentz had little pressure on him as Arik Armstead has disappeared as a pass rusher, and Nick Bosa can only do so much. Ford just can’t get on the field enough to be a force out there, but they did force what ended up being call a fumble on a dumb attempt by Wentz to throw a shovel pass that was picked by Al-Shaair.

Again, we had our chances to put this game away, and again, mistakes and penalties killed us. Shanny came across as baffled as to how and why the train is so far off the rails. He’d better figure something out soon. The whole NFC is filled with ~.500 teams and we are by no means out of the WC hunt.

Bill Walsh was known for finding his opponent’s weakness and EXPLOITING IT until, THEY figured out how to stop it. The absolute motherfucker to all this is Shanny stops his OWN progress. Infuriating. Shanny designed some great plays. HE FUCKING STOPPED DOING THEM. Like Harbaugh before him, he seems to think that he’s sofa king smart that he can outsmart himself. ALL THE TIME. Over and over.

So here we are at 2-4 and flailing. I mean, fuck we can’t even tank for draft picks. I’m at a loss to even wonder why Jimmy G should get another start. Unless Shanny keeps with WHAT FUCKING WORKS with Jimmy G. Those are the exact kind of plays that they should be designing for Trey Lance anyway. HE needs to get comfortable throwing on the move, and finding seams to run in occasionally.

If Shanny thinks he’s got Derrick Henry as his QB, Lance will be out of the league by the end of the season. And he should just let Jimmy G get smashed repeatedly behind his porous line. Cannon fodder until we find our next head coach for the 2022 season.

About unca_chuck

Lifelong SF 49ers, SF Giants, and Golden State Warriors fan
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24 Responses to Going Sideways

  1. unca_chuck says:

    Shanny’s new theme song. Pretty blistering solo in this one. Haven’t heard this in a few decades, but this song runs through my head all the time.

  2. Winder says:

    Last night was a disaster in so many ways. It’s pretty sad when you know we are gonna fuck things up before we actually do. We used to be efficient at stopping the run not even close anymore. We used to play a decent man to man in the backfield well we suck so bad in reminded me of the 79 team. What pisses me off the most is we have absolutely no talent to make adjustments on either side of the ball. We have a few good players but they can only do so much. I think we should start Sudfeld(sp) and call the season a wash. I am afraid Shanny will destroy Lance’s career if he keeps his play calling act the same.

  3. Flavor says:

    you really think this is Shanny’s year?

  4. 12th Man says:

    Quite a night at Levi. I literally couldn’t have been wetter in a bathtub, for all of that it was a decent crowd.

    Nice write up Chuck. I didn’t think the Colts had much of a chance, so much for that theory. Jimmy is lost right now, taking a paycheck maybe, just no fire in him. I said if they lose to the Colts it’s Lance time, and it is, but also because Jimmy is 5-6 in his last 11 and is uninspiring.

    It’s also time to play the youngsters, especially the QB, the corners and RG. I can’t see how they lose much considering the vets at those positions are pretty lousy.

    If Shannahan doesn’t make some moves this week or next he will find himself on the hot seat. This team needs a spark big time and playing it safe with so-so veterans isn’t getting it done.

    • NJ49ER says:

      Kudos for being an All Weather Fan 12th.
      Jimmeh is a lame duck.
      No fire. No incentive. No option other than to stay healthy for another contract.
      Blame the FO.
      Rock & hard place convergence.
      I’m starting to think about the reality of the owner and his money Man again.
      Jed and Paraag need to defer to a bonafide personnel director.
      This win now at all cost approach is burning our future to the ground.
      Draft picks have gone up in smoke for the foreseeable future.
      If Shanny can’t find something for Trey, beyond Kaep 2.0, we’re outright fucked.

  5. NJ49ER says:

    2 weeks of prep, at home, and we laid another egg
    This is a MAJOR leadership problem IMO.
    From Jed on down, this is what dysfunction looks like in the NFL.
    Even eternal fuck up Jerruh in Dallas woke up and deferred to people who hurdled his ego.
    Time for a bonafide personnel director.
    Jed has to grow a pair.
    Get his buddy Paraag out of the personnel evaluation process and leave him to manage the Cap. Nothing more.
    I’m tired of the optimistic rhetoric.
    We’re a flaming mess.
    We need Terry Tate to shake up the FO.
    Fuck the fluff.

    • NJ49ER says:

      Additionally 12th, Frank Reich & staff punked Shanny & staff in our house, with 2 weeks to prepare.
      Pathetic display.

  6. Grumpy Guy says:

    The eight deadliest words in the language of the NFL:

    “You Are what your Record says you Are.”

  7. unca_chuck says:

    Hah! Felcher & Sons!!

    • NJ49ER says:

      Exactly Chuck!
      Unfortunately, we’re dealing with York & Sons.
      Penny pinching MBAs playing power brokers with Uncle Eddie’s legacy.
      Get Terry Tate on the phone.
      Time for the pain train.

  8. alleykat69 says:

    All teams going forward are going to just take the Colts approach and heave long throws knowing there’s better then 50% they will get a PI off this sorry ass secondary..

    Read something somewhere that when Jimmy G was with the Pats former player Marcellus Bennett said Jimmy had a 4 game run when Brady got hurt 2017?
    and ripped him for not sucking it up and told the team I’m assuming Belicheat,that he had an injury ( maybe fake)and they had to go with Bissett last minute against the Bills which they lost.It steamed Bennett cause he thinks he is just a quitter,it was the time he was about to get traded to the 49ers and his agent didn’t want to risk an injury..

    • NJ49ER says:

      So do I AK, Jimmeh lacks balls.
      Can’t believe we swallowed the Brady backup hype and, hitched our wagon to a SB loser, over an aged, but still competent SB winner.

      Who do you want your high priced understudy to emulate? Here we are.

      Takes balls to say ‘we fucked up’ and move on.
      That’s on Jed.
      You want to honor Uncle Eddie?
      Roll some fukn heads.

  9. Kyle Shanahahahahan says:

    It’s just like I said at my EPIC press conference. I’m a football guru but I left a steaming load in my bed again.

  10. NJ49ER says:

    In Garoppolo’s last 11 starts, the 49ers are 5-6. Garoppolo has 13 touchdowns and nine interceptions in those 11 games.
    And, he’s a lame duck.
    Harder and harder to be an optimist.

  11. unca_chuck says:

    Well, that’s the issue right now. We are not winning with Jimmy G, but a lot of that is on Shanahan’s terrible play calling. Moving Jimmy G around has worked. It gives him more time to throw and takes pressure off the line. Where we get into trouble is when we try to have him sit in the pocket. We don’t have to roll out all the time, just more than the 2 successful drives from Sunday.

    Would putting Lance in there with Shanahan being even more stupid with the pay calling make us better? Or will it get Lance killed?

    This is where I’m stuck at. I’d really like to see Lance play, but not at the cost of his confidence, let alone his career. Unless Shanny lets someone else call the plays, I don’t want to see Lance out there. Based on the game where Shanny rn Lance 16 times.

  12. unca_chuck says:

    Way to brave the elements, 12th. Went to quite a few slog-fests in the 80s-90s. Least memorable was the 12-6 loss to the LA Raiders back in 1988. The Niners were driving and had a 4th and one from the Raiders 35. Walsh called a reverse to Jerry and he was tackled for a 6 yard loss.. It rained the whole game, and the girl who drove me (our first date) ditched me in the 3rd quarter. I went to get a couple beers, and the Stick being the Stick, I missed most of the 3rd quarter. When I got back she was gone.

    And the Stick being the Stick, I found a friend who gave me a ride to the Bit of England in Burlingame, where we had pre-gamed a couple. Didn’t see here again for 14 years!

    Strange days indeed.

  13. unca_chuck says:

    Funny, I was talking to my son earlier, and he said, the reason we can’t defend deep passes is because we never see them in practice!

    I’m said damn, you are right.

  14. unca_chuck says:

    New thread is up.

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