The Edge of Wetness

. . . or, As the Stomach Turns . . .

This season is apparently following the path of last year’s amid locker room gossip, infighting, and innuendo threatening to fracture a team that is already falling apart at the seams. This season, we have the more and more believable scenario that Aldon Smith and Colin Kaepernick were at opposite ends of the Nessa love triangle. This of course breaks the ‘bros before hoes’ code adhered to by broheims everywhere, but apparently not in Santa Clara. This of course is part of the underlying reason that Jay Glazer says that CK isn’t very well-liked among his teammates. Aldon Smith even took to blaming his departure from the 49ers on this issue rather than the glaringly obvious point he was arrested yet again for drunk driving and being generally stupid in public. Lets hear it for missing the point entirely.

You’d think that these guys would be a little bit more professional about things like this, but I guess not. If Aldon couldn’t keep Nessa happy, who’s to say he has any claim on her once they break up? Tough shit, fuck-o. Anyhow, this ain’t the Tiger-Beat blog, so on with the season . . .

Next up we have the other disappointing team in a division of lingering disappointment, the St Louis Rams. They of the hundreds of draft picks stolen from Washington, and the Jeff Fisher system that will supposedly drag them out of the dirt. Well, a funny thing happened on the way to respectability. They have played very well in beating Seattle and AZ, but inexplicably lost to the Redskins badly. They rank 31st in yards AND points on offense (who’s last? Yay us!) but their defense is 10th. A far cry from the 31st ranked defense that we are. They are starting to get their run game going with Todd Gurley, but the one thing our defense is pretty good at is stopping the run. Thee pass is a different story.  We have befuddled Bridgewater, Rodgers (some), and Wilson (some), but gave up the ghost to Little Ben and Carson Palmer.

At some point, the 49ers ve to either forge an identity from all  the changes they are implementing or they will remain at the very bottom of the league. Not necessarily a bad thing when there’s a guy like Jared Goff available in the 2016 draft, but with a shitload of teams all sucking, there may be a headlong race to the cellar.

There are (holy shit!) TWELVE 2- or under-win teams in the league right now. We are 29th in the league (14th in the NFC) standings-wise, so an unlikely winning streak can get this team back into contention. Hyuk! Continuing the downward spiral will put us in contention for Goff, but like I said before, I’d go broke trying to predict how Trent Baalke would play this upcoming draft.

If he’s even here for it.

About unca_chuck

Lifelong SF 49ers, SF Giants, and Golden State Warriors fan
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56 Responses to The Edge of Wetness

  1. unca_chuck says:

    Mediocrity, thy name is NFL . . . There are currently 11 teams over .500.

    That means there are 21 teams at or below the Mediocre
    Line. Let’s call it the Harbaugh line, for last year’s sake.

    Indy currently leads the AFC South with a 3-4 record.

    The NY Giants and their stellar 4-3 record lead the NFC East. If not for our fail against them, they’d be 3-4 and still in the lead. Denver is the weakest undefeated team, as they are solely relying on their defense and some lucky turnovers to remain unbeaten. GB looks like the real deal, as does Cincy, but since there are so many shit teams, most of these guys have padded their record at the cost of the crapitude of the league. Carolina is playing well as well.

    Gonna be an interesting year. Too bad we are on the outside . . .

  2. Winder says:

    There is so much bullshit surrounding the Niners that it’s hard to get a real bead on what’s going on. I personally believe that Baalke has had his day and it didn’t work out. I would show him the door, today if possible. As far as Jed and public perception, he’s already dug a big hole and it will continue to get bigger unless he acts responsibly. The problem starts at the top and the only out I can see is to commit to a total rebuild and clean house.

  3. unca_chuck says:

    What worries me is the obfuscation campaignthat appears to be rearing its head again. Harbaugh was the guy caught in the innuendo tornado.

    Now it seems to be Kaepernick. As in the team will be fine with a new QB next year. If the powers tha be are taking this approach, we are in for a long dry spell.

  4. unca_chuck says:

    Well, Jed’s hiding out real well.

  5. unca_chuck says:

    Interesting article.

    Bullit, you are brain-dead. Dumber than a bag of dicks.

  6. unca_chuck says:

    The gist . . .

    “For the 6-0 Panthers, Newton has completed 55.8 percent of his passes, has 1,275 yards, nine touchdown passes, seven interceptions and a 78.4 passer rating. He’s being talked about – by ESPN, and The Washington Post – as a legitimate MVP candidate.

    For the 2-5 49ers, Kaepernick has completed 61.4 percent of his passes, has 1,453 yards, six touchdowns, five interceptions and an 82.8 passer rating.

    He’s being talked about as a legitimate candidate to be benched.”

    Christ, Peyton Manning looks like Ichabod Crane out there, and he’s 6-0. Thanks to his defense. And some stupid play calling by Andy Reid.

    Like a lot of people, BakkenBullit doesn’t get that football is a team sport and that without all units playing at least decently, the QB has little chance for success. He finds one play to harp on for 3 weeks and keeps up with the stupid narrative. Under 2 names no less. What a lifeless prick.

    As I have said most of the season, of all the problems with the team, Kappy is far down the list.

  7. unca_chuck says:

    Nip, they are one and the same. He doth protest too much. High comedy in Skeeberland.

    Kappy has proven nothing in his NFL career? This is according to the simple mind. 4-2 in the playoffs? Hmmm. Romo would kill for those numbers. Then again, the team was a lot better back then. Like having a good team masked his deficiencies. What a load of hilarity.

  8. unca_chuck says:

    Amazing what is out there on the internets.

    I was at this show, I think.

    If you have an hour .five to kill . . .

  9. unca_chuck says:

    Funny anecdote re Robin Trower and his guitar switch.

    During a tour with Jethro Tull, Robin arrived early for a sound check and found Martin Barre’s Stratocaster (which Barre used for slide playing) propped up against an amplifier. Trower picked up the guitar, plugged it in, and with a shout which resounded around the auditorium he yelled, “This is it!”. “I then switched to Strat” he says. “Up to then I had been playing Les Pauls.”

  10. rtfirefly says:

    Well, first you’ve got the current Kap vs. The Team rumor. Then we got MM reporting that it was VD calling out Kap and Staley defending Kap. Now we got VD denying the report. And now Torrey Smith chimes in:

    Funny what 2-5 and a rotten coaching staff will do to a team.

  11. Nipper says:

    I wonder if the coaches are preparing for an Italian dinner on the road, a few broken dishes and some harsh words of “hey stay away from my woman” to help team chemistry along. Yup one happy team to take on the Rams.

  12. rtfirefly says:

    This is for those on this blog who question my Niners loyalty (Chuck, your blog is dying; don’t worry, so is Skeebs’; there’s gonna be a lotta that).
    I’m a Niner fan for life. Brodie to Gene Washington at Kezar against the Atlanta Falcons – six points, that was my first game. The last ever home regular season game at Kezar, Bruce Gossett who lived walking disntace away scored six points.
    I’m not giving up, well maybe at times until Jed gets a brain transplant or achieves rapture by hiring Bill Walsh. OK, well, that’s out.
    I think the Niners could pull out a few in the last month (the Seahawks have a similar schedule; wait and watch them make a late season run), but they suck.
    It is rebuilding. I’m all for it. At least I would be if a cabal of rats wasn’t running the ship. Jed and Trent have run like hell; they’re acting like you’d expect from rats. Tomsula is drowning with the ship, which shows how very stupid that squeaker is. If he were half a coach, don’t you think he would’ve got an OC offer somewhere?
    I’m not leaving. I suffered through the unwanted team and neglected years of the Morabito sisters. I’ll suffer through this. But Mr. Silver Spoon better get an epiphany after this season.
    A poster on the Glazer article posted the timeline:
    2015: Tomsula fired
    2016: Baalke fired

    I fear that I completely agreed with him. Jed and Paraag Rule! As long as the corporation rakes in the $.

    All I can do is offer constructive (sometimes) bitching and hope for the future. This year there is going to be a lot of bitching. Come 2017, I guess I’ll be able to see the beginning of the rebuilding process.

    I root for the Niners to play competitively week after week. They’re going to lose this year – a lot. But the nucleus of the new team should be training and forming. I don’t root for them to punt twice in the 4th qtr when you are down 3 scores. Take a lesson from the TE coach/now HC of the Miami Dolphins. They knew they were overmatched against the Pats, moreso in Foxboro. They knew they were outplayed in all phases, down two scores (with 2 pt conversions) in the 4th, and they kept fighting, The blowout score was not indicative of the game. It was never close, but it was only a blowout later in the 4th. The Dolphins STILL HAD A CHANCE TO WIN IN THE 4th. THAT is what you teach young players, not rolling over and dying like the Niners did. I predict the Fins will finish the season on a higher note than the Niners (not merely record, getting ready for the future), yet they have a HC with less experience than Tomsula.

  13. rtfirefly says:

    That felt good! Now just go to St. Louis and try. Score some points against their very good D-line by beating their weaker LBs and secondary. Take advantage of the young O-line and for gawdsakesgetsomepassrush. #PassRushMatters

    Watch out for the rook RB Gurley – he’s a future perennial Pro Bowler. Our LBs are better at the run than pass; this should be their game. Foles won’t beat you deep; our CBs shouldn’t be a liability.

    Watch out for “trickeration” on special teams. I think the Lambs under Fisher have done that once or twice, LOL (wins against Niners and Seahawks from trickery off the top of my head).

  14. Nipper says:

    In conclusion: TOTAL BLEEP!

  15. unca_chuck says:

    Hey this blog may be wobbling but I’m happy as fuck I don’t have bakkenbullittspitty posting inane drivel over and over.

    The blog is dead! Long live the blog!

  16. unca_chuck says:

    That sums things up pretty well RT. Yeah, this is my team as well and there have been dark times. My hope is that Baalke goes first.

    Hire a fucking GM to take care of the football side of things. Then our new GM can hire his coaching staff and build the team his way.

  17. unca_chuck says:

    This of course was written before the season started. Baalke was ranked 18th best GM at the start of the season. Id imagine his stock is dropping rapidly.

    18. Trent Baalke, 49ers
    Last Year’s Ranking: 5

    Trent Baalke has won more power struggles than Super Bowls. That’s a fact he apparently blames on ex-coach Jim Harbaugh, a man who took the 49ers to the NFC Championship Game in each of his first three years on the job, but nevertheless found himself fired before last season even began. As Harbaugh coached 2014 as a dead man walking, Baalke built his case against his best move. At the end of the day, Baalke and owner Jed York decided they had gotten away from their “core strengths” under the coach who led them to a 44-19-1 record. San Francisco’s core strength has always been winning — something Harbaugh did as much as Bill Belichick and Pete Carroll — but here we are. Without Harbaugh to kick around anymore, the buck now stops at Baalke. It’s he who must answer questions about a deteriorating roster, he who must rebuild a defense reeling from retirements and knee reconstructions. Baalke’s whisper campaign against Harbaugh was the most successful two-year commitment of his life. If that triumph isn’t repeated across his next two years of personnel moves, he’ll be the next man to be “mutually parted with” in San Francisco.

  18. Winder says:

    Yeah, I’m not going anywhere either. It has never crossed my mind to say goodbye to the Niners and I doubt it ever will. I get so mad that it is impossible for me to watch the full games at times but I have always been like that even when I was a kid(though not so much). Good times, bad times it is what it is.

  19. unca_chuck says:

    Friends Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears.

    I have not come to praise the 49ers, I’ve come to bury them . . .

    What I find interesting is I had the same thought as whoever wrote the stuff above in that I said it was now Baalke on the chopping block with Harbaugh gone.

    Either Baalke has masterfully deflected the blame for this year onto Harbaugh’s QB pick from 2012, or Baalke has some compromising photos of Young Jed Hidesalot.

    Funny how some people still disavow Harbaugh drafting Kaepernick.

  20. Winder says:

    chuck- I thinks some of my post are getting eaten

  21. Nipper says:

    Hyde apparently OUT. Foot must really be troublesome.

  22. unca_chuck says:

    Don’t know why the filter randomly picks shit off, but there are a few from the usual suspects.

  23. unca_chuck says:

    Nippy, I’m seeing Hyde as a game-time decision. As is Boldin . . .

    You have the inside scoop?

  24. unca_chuck says:

    Ahhh. Oh well. We can’t run anyway . . .

  25. Nipper says:

    No running game. Now we’re depending on Reggie Bush and his fragile bode. Yikes! Rams must be licking their chops anticipating the Niners. Kap will be running for his life.

  26. Nipper says:

    Apparently Sir Spit has turned into a Raiders fan. He loves the team and the owner with the bowl haircut. He hopes the Raiders stay in Oaktown. Of course he’s bashing the Niners full time along with Bullit-Bakeentom. I just wish they were not enjoying themselves so much! Niners losing has given them all a purpose in life.

  27. unca_chuck says:

    Well yo stop the rush by getting the ball out of the QBs hands fast. Slants. Timing plays.

    Stop me if you’ve heard this before. I’ve been saying it for 8 years now.

  28. Winder says:

    I say FUCK THE RAMS and since we have nothing to lose let the horses go and have some fun. We know the stinking RAMS are gonna come with everything they got so lets run some plays that will work against them. Or at least try.

    • Winder says:

      I would also like to see everyone play, even our back-up QB, let everyone on the team know it’s evaluation time. Playing with heart goes a long way.

  29. snarkk says:

    17-13, Rams. This game should be ugly on both sides. No Hyde? Kap will probably take half a dozen
    sacks from the right side, and be running left for his life the rest of the time…

  30. ewisco says:

    Haynes released? that’s a heck of a bench behind bush. thank god he never gets hurt.

    • rtfirefly says:

      Never fear. We’ve got Kendall Gaskins now. Undrafted out of Football U., the U. of Richmond, didn’t play last year, hasn’t played this year – in fact he hasn’t played a snap of pro ball. Forget the breakaway ability Hayne showed in rushing and returning in the preseason, or that he is still learning the game and barely saw the ball.
      We’re set. Especially with Hyde out, we’re such a good, deep team that Hayne could never really break his way into the lineup.

    • snarkk says:

      Would not doubt it if Seahawks pick up Hayne. IMO after he fumbled once or twice on the punts, and missed one pass protection, they never gave him a chance. How can Baalke let the team be in this position re: RBs? Crazy…

  31. Winder says:

    Maybe Jeds doin a little token

  32. unca_chuck says:

    The hawks won’t even touch Hayne. There’s always Hunter. Oh yeah.

    Ooops. Coulda signed him to the pup list and had him back now

  33. Nipper says:

    Once the Lambs………now the new LA RAMS!

  34. unca_chuck says:

    New thread is up.

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