Fun with Mindless Prognostication

Stealing a page for the Bleacher Report in that they’ve decided to rank the coaching staffs of all 32 NFL teams, based on, well I don’t know. It looks like it’s based on one little paragraph.

Interesting to me are all the retreaded names you see here. John Fassel, Marty Morningwig, Hue Jackman, Norv Turner, even Marc (he’s gone!) Trestman has circled back around to be a head coach. Albeit a long and winding road.

Ex-players are repped all over the place in Fracnk Reich, Ron Rivera, Gary Kubiak, Sean Payton, and of course Jim Harbaugh.

Coaching royalty is also represented by Mike Shula and Joe Lombardi. Lombardi being a fast-rising coaching star (now the OC for Detroit) and the grandson of you-know-who.

Beyond the fact of who they picked for #1, there’s a lot of interesting fodder in the list to say the least.

32. St. Loo – Head coach: Jeff Fisher
Offensive coordinator: Brian Schottenheimer
Defensive coordinator: Gregg Williams
Special teams coordinator: John Fassel

31. Dallas Cowboys – Head coach: Jason Garrett
Offensive coordinator: Scott Linehan
Defensive coordinator: Rod Marinelli
Special teams coordinator: Rich Bisaccia

30. Washington – Head coach: Jay Gruden
Offensive coordinator: Sean McVay
Defensive coordinator: Jim Haslett
Special teams coordinator: Ben Kotwica

29. Houston Texans – Head coach: Bill O’Brien
Offensive coordinator: None
Defensive coordinator: Romeo Crennel
Special teams coordinator: Bob Ligashesky

28. Oakland Raiders – Head coach: Dennis Allen
Offensive coordinator: Greg Olson
Defensive coordinator: Jason Tarver
Special teams coordinator: Bobby April

27. Cleveland Browns – Head coach: Mike Pettine
Offensive coordinator: Kyle Shanahan
Defensive coordinator: Jim O’Neil
Special teams coordinator: Chris Tabor

26. Detroit Lions – Head coach: Jim Caldwell
Offenisve coordinator: Joe Lombardi
Defensive coordinator: Teryl Austin
Special teams coordinator: John Bonamego

25. Miami Dolphins – Head coach: Joe Philbin
Offensive coordinator: Bill Lazor
Defensive coordinator: Kevin Coyle
Special teams coordinator: Darren Rizzi

24. Tennessee Titans – Head coach: Ken Whisenhunt
Offensive coordinator: Jason Michael
Defensive coordinator: Ray Horton
Special teams coordinator: Nate Kaczor

23. Jacksonville Jaguars – Head coach: Gus Bradley
Offensive coordinator: Jedd Fisch
Defensive coordinator: Bob Babich
Special teams coordinator: Mike Mallory

22. New York Giants – Head coach: Tom Coughlin
Offensive coordinator: Ben McAdoo
Defensive coordinator: Perry Fewell
Special teams coordinator: Tom Quinn

21. San Diego Chargers – Head coach: Mike McCoy
Offensive coordinator: Frank Reich
Defensive coordinator: John Pagano
Special teams coordinator: Kevin Spencer

20. Minnesota Vikings – Head coach: Mike Zimmer
Offensive coordinator: Norv Turner
Defensive coordinator: George Edwards
Special teams coordinator: Mike Priefer

19. Buffalo Bills – Head coach: Doug Marrone
Offensive coordinator: Nathaniel Hackett
Defensive coordinator: Jim Schwartz
Special teams coordinator: Danny Crossman

18. Kansas City Chiefs – Head coach: Andy Reid
Offensive coordinator: Doug Pederson
Defensive coordinator: Bob Sutton
Special teams coordinator: Dave Toub

17. New York Jets – Head coach: Rex Ryan
Offensive coordinator: Marty Mornhinweg
Defensive coordinator: Dennis Thurman
Special teams coordinator: Thomas McGaughey

16. Cincinnati Bengals – Head coach: Marvin Lewis
Offensive coordinator: Hue Jackson
Defensive coordinator: Paul Guenther
Special teams coordinator: Darrin Simmons

15. Chicago Bears – Head coach: Marc Trestman
Offensive coordinator: Aaron Kromer
Defensive coordinator: Mel Tucker
Special teams coordinator: Joe DeCamillis

14. Atlanta Falcons – Head coach: Mike Smith
Offensive coordinator: Dirk Koetter
Defensive coordinator: Mike Nolan
Special teams coordinator: Keith Armstrong

13. Arizona Cardinals – Head coach: Bruce Arians
Offensive coordinator: Harold Goodwin
Defensive coordinator: Todd Bowles
Special teams coordinator: Amos Jones

12. Indianapolis Colts – Head coach: Chuck Pagano
Offensive coordinator: Pep Hamilton
Defensive coordinator: Greg Manusky
Special teams coordinator: Tom McMahon

11. Denver Broncos – Head coach: John Fox
Offensive coordinator: Adam Gase
Defensive coordinator: Jack Del Rio
Special teams coordinator: Jeff Rodgers

10. Pittsburgh Steelers – Head coach: Mike Tomlin
Offensive coordinator: Todd Haley
Defensive coordinator: Dick LeBeau
Special teams coordinator: Danny Smith

9. Green Bay Packers – Head coach: Mike McCarthy
Offensive coordinator: Tom Clements
Defensive coordinator: Dom Capers
Special teams coordinator: Shawn Slocum

8. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Head coach: Lovie Smith
Offensive coordinator: Jeff Tedford
Defensive coordinator: Leslie Frazier
Special teams coordinator: Kevin O’Dea

7. Carolina Panthers – Head coach: Ron Rivera
Offensive coordinator: Mike Shula
Defensive coordinator: Sean McDermott
Special teams coordinator: Richard Rodgers

6. Baltimore Ravens – Head coach: John Harbaugh
Offensive coordinator: Gary Kubiak
Defensive coordinator: Dean Pees
Special teams coordinator: Jerry Rosburg

5. Philadelphia Eagles – Head coach: Chip Kelly
Offensive coordinator: Pat Shurmur
Defensive coordinator: Billy Davis
Special teams coordinator: Dave Fipp

4. New England Patriots – Head coach: Bill Belichick
Offensive coordinator: Josh McDaniels
Defensive coordinator: Matt Patricia
Special teams coordinator: Scott O’Brien

3. New Orleans Saints – Head coach: Sean Payton
Offensive coordinator: Pete Carmichael, Jr.
Defensive coordinator: Rob Ryan
Special teams coordinator: Greg McMahon

2. Seattle Seahawks – Head coach: Pete Carroll
Offensive coordinator: Darrell Bevell
Defensive coordinator: Dan Quinn
Special teams coordinator: Brian Schneider

1. San Francisco 49ers – Head coach: Jim Harbaugh
Offensive coordinator: Greg Roman
Defensive coordinator: Vic Fangio
Special teams coordinator: Brad Seely

Hey, it’s slow. Reading is fun-damental.

About unca_chuck

Lifelong SF 49ers, SF Giants, and Golden State Warriors fan
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17 Responses to Fun with Mindless Prognostication

  1. unca_chuck says:

    A little surprised to see SF ahead of Seattle. Mainly because Carroll inherited a team full of shit while Harbaugh inherited a very talented but underachieving team. Beyond the fact that Carroll won it all and Harbaugh hasn’t, you’d think they take that into consideration.

    And very surprised to see Fisher last. I think St L is on the rise, but I guess they don’t think so.

  2. unca_chuck says:

    I certainly wouldn’t put the Jets so high. Not above KC anyway.

    Curious guy of the list is Jeff Tedford as Tampa Bay’s OC under Lovie Smith. Tedford, nee of Cal Berkeley’s on-again-off-again success, looks like an odd choice for pro OC.

    Speaking of Lovie, I think TB turns their shit around some this year.

  3. unca_chuck says:

    These guys really don’t like Jeff Fisher.

  4. Spitblood says:


  5. unca_chuck says:

    You wanna go too cutie pie? ? I’ll shut this down rather that let you post, you fucking turd. So go fuck yourself.

    You can go back to being ignored and ridiculed on Pav’s blog. Or back to the back hole of your miserable blogspot. One more and it’s byuebye.

  6. Spitblood says:

    Chuck your people skills are …….. well……. you know……… they aren’t good. Do you think I’m bigot? Of course you don’t. So there’s gotta be a message in the last post. Try to get your secret decoder ring out and decipher my message. I’ll give you a hint: the message is my first sentence of this post. Work on your people skills and a lot more people will blog here. If you don’t, what difference does it make if I throw the N word all over this blog? None. Think about it. And bring Del back.

  7. unca_chuck says:

    Awww. Poor skippy. I don’t give a rat’s ass what you think. I don’t really care about growing this blog. It’s drivel like Dennis’s endless racist shit, and NoFear’s general hate of everything I post the drives people off of this. Maybe I shouldn’t respond so harshly, but that’s half MY fun. Why shoiuld I deny myself the right to ridicule idiots? As far as Dennis goes, I gave him 3 chances. He blew them all. Sorry. I warned him 3x and he couldn’t stop himself. NoFear? Dude’s too 90’s for me. 1890s.

    Besides, it’s the offseason. I don’t get much traffic anyway around this time. If this doesn’t go back up during the seaon I’ll simply shut it down. No skin off my ass.

  8. unca_chuck says:

    You don’t like my rules? Go piss up a rope. Yer a fairly astute guy when you aren’t trying to be a dick, but who cares? Stay, go, whatever. You want to be banned I’ll happily comply.

    • Spitblood says:

      Who wants to be banned? I’m not saying that. I’m just saying that if you can’t get along with people this place will be a ghost town anyway. For your benefit I’ll stop talking politics because most of your bloggers are conservative and my slant rubs them the wrong way – and it’s not a political blog anyway.

      Instead of banning Del and looking at this like it’s a war of wills (which you do a lot of), and trying to leverage your ownership to make bloggers comply, why not appeal to Del’s sense of what’s right and wrong and then if he can’t follow through for whatever reason, just take down his post. But banning Del isn’t good for this blog of merry retards. Del’s one of your more entertaining bloggers.

      And make no mistake about it… I’m not talking about your blog making money. I’m talking about your blog surviving. But it’s your blog. Just my two cents.

  9. unca_chuck says:

    All I’ve ever asked was to knock off the racist shit, and anything overly graphic in the sex act description department would be banned. Dennis failed repeatedly. It’s no battle of wills. Just something everyone seems to understand. Except Dennis. Politics does get old, but I’ll let that shit go unless it gets personal (hello NoFear) as it is wont to do.

    Your concern for my blog is admirable, but again, we’ll see how this shit shakes out. If I ain;t getting traffic come September, I’ll shut this down.

    Comparing this to Skeebs, the only reason he gets so many hits now is he has bullit as his foil. Bullit is such an overarching nimrod that people respond to it. Bergs and I take him to task for his shit regularly. If not for that, Outsider would be nearly as quiet.

    Again, I ain’t sweating it now. We;ll see come September.

    • 12th man says:

      I spent some time last season intentionally comparing your blog with Skeebs, even to the extent of counting individual posts. I did it to illustrate just how much influence, in my opinion mostly detrimental, he had on constraining other peoples willingness to join in. Who needs a dick pointing out some bullshit about your opinion all the time?

      Now maybe it was coincidental, but both Skeebs and Berger started taking Bullit to task after that and truth be told he is much more tolerable in general. During this period of in season time your blog had way more posters but less readership and I would expect that traffic to return once the more passive fans get excited about game day again.

  10. 12th man says:

    Since we are airing opinions here’s mine.

    Chuck for the most part does not use his blog ownership muscles and is willing to give and take shit.

    I agree with Spit about Dennis, he goes too far sometimes but he is not an asshole usually and I think he adds more than subtracts. It’s Chuck’s bat and ball but you can’t play baseball alone.

    As for you Spit you remind me of Howard Stern, on the surface just a shock jock playing to the crowd but under all the B.S. a thoughtful person. I understand your use of slur’s is to make a point and don’t believe for a second you are a bigot, but that does not mean you should feel free to use those slur’s just because you can hide behind the notion of being an evolved person. Using those slur’s in any capacity is offensive to many regardless of intent and as an aside I don’t much care for your use of retard either.

    NF is an enigma. He has strong views on football and politics most of which I don’t agree with but that is not a prerequisite to dismissing everything he has to say as pablum. I still enjoy his posts and his POV regardless.

    Spit has me pegged as NF light. The last few political issues I have largely agreed with NF on but in actuality I am far more in disagreement with him than agreement. I am what some others claim to be, an independent. I’m against corporate larges but for a strong private sector for instance. In other words greed unfettered as it largely is now is in the long run bad for America and in the short run bad for the average worker bee. I have a social conscience but recognize that those that take risks in business deserve rewards, I just feel it has gotten out of whack.

    Spit never saw a liberal cause he couldn’t support and is highly emotional in writing about them. He has the classic liberal bleeding heart. Nothing wrong with that, he has his rights too, the ones that the likes of NF and many more have fought for. I find it disturbing that that is so easily dismissed.

    I dislike the massive partisanship that has sprung up. It does no good for any of us. It’s funny as hell that one side or the other speak in absolutes as though the others opinion has no value. In the end just about every bill ever passed is a compromise so why have all the acrimony and political theater?

    I’m as opinionated as the rest of you too we are all here for the Niners and for the opportunity to spout our particular bullshit on life, the universe and everything and I like this blog with it’s eclectic mix of misfits including Spit and Dennis.

    OK that was a bit more than 2 cents, anyone got change for a dollar?

  11. unca_chuck says:

    Thanks for that, 12th. I value the opinions expressed here. Well, I may disagree vehemently at times, but hey, that’s what this is for.

    I’ll drop a line to Dennis . . . As far as NF goes, what always send my bullshit meter to overload is that he dismisses everything anyone has to say that is in disagreement regardless of the fact presented. He’s been attacking my posts for years now, and seems to glean some kind of thrill out of being a pain in my ass. Whatever. To each his own. I never pick fights with him, but I’ll react to his over-the-top shit every time.

  12. unca_chuck says:

    Your quote here is the crux of the biscuit:

    “I dislike the massive partisanship that has sprung up. It does no good for any of us. It’s funny as hell that one side or the other speak in absolutes as though the others opinion has no value. In the end just about every bill ever passed is a compromise so why have all the acrimony and political theater?”

    This is the US political arena now. Everything is black and white, us and them, you are either for us or against us.

    No bills ARE getting passed and that is the problem. The latest (113th?) Congress was the worst as far as doing anything goes. Mainly because the agenda from the Republican party from day one of the current administration was to block any and every bill that passed their way. At the cost of the citizens, and the shutting down of the government. This isn’t lib/media bullshit that NF loves to blather about. These are the facts.

    Nothing gets passed because there IS no compromise. Why? Because each congressman needs to point to his record of voting for the party line when it comes to election time. How else do you work out the numbers of 10% approval rating and a 94% re-election rate?

    New thread is up . . .

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