No, no. Not posting any Sonny and Cher here, but, Jesus Christ on a bicycle, what in the wide wide world of sports is going on here? 49ers are getting arrested at the rate of once a week these days. Are these you father’s Cincinnati Bengals? Or maybe your father’s Jail Blazers? Your brother’s Seahawks? Well, we had 2 ‘suspicious’es last week. Not quite an arrest, but an investigation. Culliver? Yeah. Anyhow, Aldon Smith is again under the microscope for uttering those verboten word in an airport, ‘la bomba!’
He was promptly detained by LAPD and posted his $20,000 bail. He now has a very busy schedule keeping all these court dates straightened out on his calendar. If it’s Tuesday, it must be the weapons charge case. Or is it the DUI? Uh, reckless endangerment? Now all the hooraw will swirl around the type of team this is. Why are they drafting all these criminals? Well, as good a question as that may be, no one so far as I can tell can see into the future to determine the future actions of any of these draft choices. I mean, Rae Carruth was a troubled guy, but I don’t think anyone saw him trying to kill his pregnant girlfriend when he was drafted. Aaron Hernandez may have had a checkered past, as do a lot of these players, but rarely does it get to the point of mayhem. DUI, aggro assault, or otherwise.
But where does the blame lie? Who knows? Is Aldon going to get preferential treatment by the team because he’s such a talented player? Did he already get it last year? You can say the Niners were trying to help the guy out. Or they merely put him out there and said ‘kill kill kill!’ 2 days after his DUI arrest. Even Aldon seemed to be doing well after his stint in rehab. But therein lies the problem. These guys are grown-ass men. They have personal lives outside the game. They are people like you and me (if you happen to be 6’3″ 275, and faster than a f*cking gazelle). They get into normal human trouble. Alarmingly so, at times. Plus, you know Seahwak fans are already roasting Harbaugh over last year’s comments regarding the Seahawks and all their drug/PED-rel;ated issues these past couple years. My thought has always been, let sleeping dogs lie. No reason to stir the shit unabated. That shit usually comes back to bite you squarely in the ass. Little breezy in the khakis all of a sufdden, Jimbo?
Should they merely cut Smith and let him fend for himself? Doubtful given the money they’ve already invested in him. And the talent he carries around with him. But it sure makes the contract negotiation parameters a little better for SF here. Lost in this arrest was the fact that there was no test done for alcohol. This is something the 49ers would like to know, but now that isn’t going to happen. The LAPD said he was drunk earlier but it wasn’t an issue at the time of arrest. Unfortunately they didn’t specify a time frame. How’s that for prognosticating? They could have been referring to him drinking 6 months ago. Smith was acting hung over? Or was Smith just pissed off at the TSA for being weenies? WTF does that even mean? Yet another tid-bit fo squirrely info to file away for the upcoming back-and-forth.
As usual, the instant news cycle gives us the news before the squad cars even leave the airport. I mean really, TMZ has people that just hang out at the airport waiting for shit to happen. Surprise, surprise, it did. Within 15 minutes of his arrest, the video was posted of him being led away in cuffs. At some point in our self-saturated lives, everyone will walk around with GoPros strapped to their heads. All thewnews will soon be coming from live feeds from witnesses (and victims). And even perps.
Let the spin cycle begin. Again. And so it goes, Tralfamadorians . . .
Forty Niners Forever 
As Sonny and Cher songs go, though, that one is listenable.
And, for those of you keeping score, at least eight other 49ers have been subjected to police investigations since 2012. This includes quarterback Colin Kaepernick and wide receiver Quinton Patton regarding an incident with a woman April 1 in Miami and cornerback Chris Culliver, who pled not guilty Friday to misdemeanor hit-and-run and felony possession of brass knuckles in Santa Clara County Superior Court, stemming from a March 28 incident in San Jose.
Other 49ers who’ve had police encounters are linebacker Ahmad Brooks (no assault charges filed after a June 2013 creative bottle opening incident); offensive lineman Daniel Kilgore (arrested in January and charged with public intoxication); wide receiver Michael Crabtree (not charged with sexual assault in January 2013 after a police investigation); offensive linemen Al Netter (suspicion of drunken driving, February 2013); and defensive lineman Demarcus Dobbs (suspicion of driving under the influence, November 2012).
All these guys lawyered their way out of serious trouble. Although Kilgore Trout’s (really Theodore Sturgeon) drunk in public may have stemmed from an unexpected return from Tralfamadore.
Is this you, 12th? If so, too funny!
@PatrickWillis52 the intimidation factor you bring to our D is incomparable! You even got drivers flinching daily!
https://t.co/redirect?url=http%3A%2F%2Ft.co%2FCeYbC4y2SO&t=1&sig=4bf7150b61749de28caf618c4fd6650470ebac41&iid=37db9eaab6db4b7184f75c36a5edce9f&uid=49381741&nid=237+518+20140412
No not me Chuck. In fact I wasn’t aware of another “12th Man”, but glad someone else wasn’t willing to concede the fan support moniker to the Squawks.
Funny shit too.
Those Fathead decals shouldn’t be allowed on cars. It’s a total distraction, safety hazard and accident waiting to happen. And motorists who fall prey to thinking Patrick Willis is chasing them down the freeway and go slamming into a wall, well, you guessed it. They *deserve* it.
What about smart phones?
You’d (yes, you, Dennis) have to be pretty loaded to think the car in front of you is chasing you.
Del’s nerves couldn’t handle a two hour symphony with and palm leaf fans and grape feeding nymphs. How in the world could he even fathom a Willis fathead on a car? Deserve’s still got nothin’ to do with it.
my editor fails me time and time again.
I’m starting to think that Aldon Smith has some mental issues. Substance abuse and mental issues aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive, either. His actions seem very bipolar-ish.
True not exclusive at all. One may feed the other. So Niners FO are aware of this right? Beyond it affecting contract negotiations I wonder what they have in mind for helping Aldon and other team members deal with these obvious issues? Gotta have a plan.
Ronnie Lott on Alldumb: “”I’m worried about him as an individual. … I’m sure that the people that are working with him with the 49ers will do a good job. They have very good people.”
Let’s hope so:
http://www.mercurynews.com/49ers/ci_25565616/49ers-great-ronnie-lott-aldon-smith-im-worried
Hmmmm.. http://blog.sfgate.com/49ers/2014/04/14/report-lockette-called-911-after-woman-refused-to-leave-apartment/
Yeah a few more facts to put further distance between reality and Headline = “Kaepernick Investigated For Sexual Assault” bullshit.
I don’t quite follow that article, because it doesn’t follow. The woman “refused to leave” the place — why? Because she was passed out? Because she wanted to get paid? What’s the context of all that? A woman apparently hangs voluntarily with a few guys in a hotel room, a woman they actually know from Kap’s past or present, then the dudes ask her to hit the bricks and she refuses? Everybody, even the woman says she did not get it on with anybody, yet she’s naked on the bed. Something is missing here…
BLEEP IT!
Well, at least one of these cases appears unfounded.
Kaep gets a pass because he’s out fuckin’. I say go forth and fornicate with multiple women until you no longer have the desire or the sex appeal. He’ll learn to cool the bitches off better over time. They all do. Frank Gore has 7 kids from 9 different wives because the mass orgy confused blood lines. If you’re a football player, or a pro athlete for that matter, and you’re not out fuckin’, I don’t want you on my football team. Actually, I don’t want Darren Sharper on my team but you get my point.
Now Aldon and Chris Culliver are different stories. Both are dumber than a bag of hammers, and to me it’s a wonder how the 49ers were even going to compete with both fucktards on the same side of the football. If Aldon dropped back into zone coverage, at some point his responsibilities might overlap with Cullivers’ and when they did the world might experience some kind of sporting Oppenheimer moment of supreme stupidity that lead to quite possibly an enormous mushroom cloud of confusion and total bewilderment. That’s the bomb Aldon was referring to at LAX. Aldon knew if he had to coordinate with Culliver in game that at some point people might die due to supreme stupidity the world to date has not experienced. Aldon was only doing NFL fans a favor. He could have just told us the bomb was a mental meltdown of proportions we’d never experienced, but then again, only me and my black helicopter brigade would have believed Aldon. One thing’s for certain – Fangio deserves his raise. He should have been given another raise immediately after the news of Aldon’s LAX bombing. Fangio is probably at home right now sitting in his recliner with his head buried in his hands with his two favorite dogs afraid to approach him and his wife making Vic his favorite meal in hopes of returning Vic to his happy place. I love that crusty old fucker. You know he has a cheap-ass recliner, too.
Now Chris Culliver? He’s different. He’s special. Aldon is troubled and honestly, Aldon might be showing signs of brain trauma, and I’m not joking. But I doubt Culliver is in the same boat. DBs don’t get as much contact as D linemen. I just think Culliver is a special kind of stupid reserved only for deep, deep Southerns who never really get out of the Ozarks. Somehow Culliver got out of the Ozarks. Who makes gay remarks during Super Bowl media week? I can still see the collect 49er front office and coaching staff hanging their heads after that one. You know how many times the 49ers probably coached the players about what to say and how the media would bait these guys? And then, my personal favorite – brass knuckles? Let’s think this one through for a second. Someone needs to. You’re an NFL football player. You better be able to beat just about anyone’s ass on the streets. If you’re in hand-to-hand combat, and things escalate to grabbing for weapons, you don’t pull out brass knuckles to put the guy away. You pull out a gun. You don’t bring a knife to a gun fight, and you don’t bring brass knuckles to a fist fight if you’re an NFL player. Now, in this digital day in age, Chris Culliver is pleading not guilty to charges of hit and run. Only with America’s justice system will Culliver be acquitted. Why? Because he has the money. But I don’t care how you cut it – Chris Culliver is my new favorite 49er. I’m honestly thinking of getting his jersey. I might go as Culliver to Halloween parties. I’ll wear a knee brace, my Culliver jersey, brass knuckles and I’ll hit and run every girl at the party and deny, deny, deny…. Too bad I ain’t rich, bitch.
There goes 3 minutes of my life that I’ll never get back.
BLEEP with gusto!
NFL has to do a way way better job of educating these guys about staying out of trouble. As in continuing education or something. For most of ’em, they’ve lived off scraps most of their lives, then all of a sudden somebody hands them gobs of cash for tackling or blocking people — the same thing they did in college in exchange for free tats at the local Paint Pavillion. So, they go nuts. The rookie seminar thing — I think PacMan Jones was a star speaker last season, how great is that — apparently doesn’t cut it. And, the agents apparently aren’t too keen on always helping steer the client in the right direction. Yeah, they’re adults. But, they’re generally pretty far down the Wonderlic list of smarts, so a dimwit with cash is still a dimwit…
Can’t fix stupid? The NFL can do all they want. It’ll pass like shit through a goose. These guys think they are invincible. Look at Kappy. Great student. 4.0 in high school and college. Seems level-headed. Seemingly smart enough to know better, but here you go.
And he’s on the right side of the bell curve. A guy like Culliver thinks he can do whatever he wants. Smith? Same thing. Then again, you see Ray Lewis buy his way out of a murder rap and that adds fuel to the fire. Yeah, there are guys in the locker room that can try to straighten these guys out, but as we’ve seen it’s a loooong offseason.
In the old days when guys didn’t make millions, they had to keep themselves in a job in the offseason to pay the rent. Now, with hundreds of thousands or millions to squander and thus all to do in the offseason is “work out”, there’s more opportunity to screw up…
I love ducks, not “ducking.” Brandon Lloyd. smfh
http://s15.photobucket.com/user/amono21/media/lloyd_ducks.gif.html
In an attempt to join the SF Giants and sign anyone named Brandon, the 49ers signed ex one-time 49er Brandon Lloyd. He of the one-year vacation. I guess he’s tanned, rested, and ready. Lloyd was of course a 4th round pick by the Niners back in 20 aught 3. Way back when Jerry Jeff Garcia was getting drunk with high school chicks at Taco Bell (and our QB), and Dennis Erickson was on his way to Palookaville.
A little weird given the talent that was available a couple weeks ago, but hey we’ll see. He’s our can opener?
Light a fire under Patton? Or, is he too busy “working out” in Miami hotel rooms?…
Signing Lloyd is basically training camp padding. He might not even make the roster — if he does, that’s probably a bad sign of the quality of the WR corps. Regardless, they need to draft at least another WR. He did OK in NE in 2012, but NE actually has a pass offense with a pretty fair QB…
Lloyd needed to be equipped with a rear view mirror on his helmet.
WARNING: Footballs in flight are closer then they appear.
Lol good one. I liked Joshua Morgan a whole lot better but we wasted him in an early Hendrix game sending him out to score when we were leading by 38 points. First great move by the current regime w/ our WRS.
Everything else has improved so maybe our passing games time? Or more train wreck? We shall see
Well, he’s apparently lighting fires anyway. The whole story seems pretty contrived. Look at Brandon (hey) Browner. He keeps getting busted for pot. Of all the drugs out there, pot is the least of the NFL’s worries, but it is also the hardest to get out of your system. If these guys are sparking up this close to the start of the season, they run the risk of testing positive. I think she’s full of shit. Especially since she was belligerent and didn’t want to go.
Guess they are loading up on Gold Seal tea.
Oh, I’d be surprised if it was only one WR. He’s with Jon Martin on the I-hope-I-make-the-cut list. With all those late round picks, we may take 3.
We’ll see if Jimi and Co. are smart enough to actually evolve in pass dept. If so we have a chance to actually win it all in post-season. If not then please see Neanderthals and dinosaurs for other types whom evolution passed by. Our Div is already improving and evolving so will we be new improved Homo Sapiens? Or Piltdown Man?
I think it was NoFear who said Kawakami is a shit disturber of long standing and from what I see in headlines he’s upholding his rep. Along with several other Merc writer -Mark Purdy- who are wringing their hands over the horrors! of our supposed choir boys. Bitching about cutting Alldumb and whining about Jed ‘needing to do something’. For fucks sake you bitches STFU before you make any more of us into ex-readers. We already have a Mother Superior = Dennis so that job is taken already. Ann Killion, Kawakami, Maiocco, Ratto headline the list of morons I don’t waste my time on.
Mother Superior does agree with one thing, Jed *needs* to say something. He needs to tell his fan base that he’s sorry and embarrassed by this recent behavior. Baalke and Jimbo sure the hell won’t. Nor do I expect or demand from them. Not exactly in their job purview. But Jed needs to send the message that these recent developments are not representative of this franchise and will not be tolerated. Not only not tolerated, but dealt with harshly. They screwed the pooch last time and allowed Aldon to play in that Indy game. Can’t make that mistake twice.
Aldon can not and must not play this year. Period. Final.
Naw actions not words from the Niners. Best action would be to get Alldumb the help he needs to perform on field and in life as an adult. If he won’t learn and grow up other authorities- NFL, courts- are and will be available to ensure appropriate consequences. Jed should provide services/support fer these bozos and keep his mouth shut. We have enough mother superiors to whine to the public and advise benching good players out of some supposed shame. Everyone knows who the Niner haters are.
Bullshit. He needs to talk. This franchise has become an embarrassment with all these recent off the field activities. And the support and services provided to Aldon last time were an epic fail. He didn’t learn and the behavior continued. Punish his ass and bring back some respect and goddamn dignity to this team.
So Brandon Lloyd gave up football last year to pursue a career in acting. i.e., no NFL team wanted to sign him so he had no alternative. He gave it all up to “star” in the direct-to-Walmart DVD zombie classic, “After Effect.” Brandon played Sgt. Chuck Lloyd, a zombie’s worst
nightmare. Copies are still available at a Walmart near you. But you better hurry.
I dug a little deeper and researched Brandon’s Top 10 all time favorite movies. After watching that gif of Brandon ducking the football, I couldn’t resist. If you pay close enough attention, you just might find a common theme. Without any further ado…
10. The Mighty Ducks
9. Down and Dirty Duck
8. Sitting Ducks
7. Howard the Duck
6. Quick to Duck
5. Lord Love a Duck
4. Duck Soup
3. Duck Dodgers in the 24 ½ Century
2. Duck! (A Duckumentary)
And Brandon Lloyd’s No. 1 all time favorite movie is the 1971 Sergio Leone cult classic — Duck, You Sucker
I think Daniel Day-Lewis will have a hard time winning another Oscar with performances like these…
Barrows seems the most ‘fair and balanced’ of local beat writers = refraining from calling for players to be dumped immediately or whining FO/owners needs to do something to preserve our saintly image (Del Mar dept). Matt B is with the SacBee and as a long time (former) resident over there I can say the atmosphere is ‘better’ than Bay Area IMHO. Bee-rows seems to reflect that.