Here we are at week 17, and there’s still a ton of playoff scenarios in the air. This includes the #2 seed in the AFC (Balt or Pitts) and NFC (SF or NO), the final division winners in the AFC West (Denver or Oak), and the NFC East (NYG or Dal), and the last WC spot for the AFC (Jet, Titans, Bengals, Raiders). Dallas or the Giants are eliminated fro the playoffs with a loss, as is Denver. The Raiders have a shot if they lose because of whatever the Byzantine rules are for determining that final spot should everyone fail.
Which brings us to the other side of the standings. The ‘Suck for Luck’ standings. There are 2 teams left in the race. The St Louis Rams and the Indy Colts. If both teams lose, Indy gets the pick because of lack-of-strength of schedule. Jacksonville, the team facing the Colts, has to be thinking “Hmmmmmmmm, this would be a great time to activate all the practice squad guys . . .” Their prize for winning this game would be to face Andrew Luck 2x a year for the next 12-15 years. I bet they are thrilled about that. Which brings us to St Louis. They have invested a lot of time and money into Sam Bradford, but after a strong rookie campaign, they fell flat on their collective faces this season. None of which is Bradford’s fault, but you have to wonder if they’d go with the guy they have, or shoot the moon and take Luck. Bradford has missed the last 2 games (5 overall), andd will likely miss the last one against the Niners, so it doesn’t look like StL will win. Since they look to probably stick with Bradford, and shit-can their coaching staff this offseason, this means StL trades out. Shit, they could trade out and end up with Griffith III. I saw the highlights of that Baylor game. Craaaaaaazy shit. 67-58? Griffith didn’t even have that great a game, 24-33, 295 and a TD, but they had a whopping 485 on the ground.
Speaking of college football. Here we are at game #22 of the final 64, or some shit like that, and I’ve seen maybe 10 minutes of football. And that was the opening of the Cal / Texas game. Cal looked OK til they killed their first few drives with turnovers. Then I got bored. The Stanford game looks good, the Rose Bowl is always exciting (I have a lot of Duck alum friends) but LSU / Alabama? The 2 teams that played to an epic 6-3 battle? ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….. Until they come up with a playoff system, this shit’ll be rigged to death. I may watch some of the pinstripe bowl (shit, we run out of names yet) to see the Rutgers WR Mohamed Sanu. There are some games that just lend themselves to taking a look at, at least. The Sugar Bowl, the Cotton Bowl, the Orange Bowl. But the GoDaddy.conm Bowl? How does that rate? Ark St. vs Northern Illinois? Really? I mean, seriously, did any of you watch the Beef ‘O’Brady Bowl? What the f*ck IS the Beef ‘O’Brady Bowl? Or the Belk Bowl? I’ve visited the Belk Bowl, but that was after drinking too much whiskey.
And hey, locally we have the 10th annual Kraft Fight Hunger Emerald Blue Diamond San Francisco Nut Bowl between 2 stunningly mediocre teams in Illinois and UCLA. Illinois is at a decent 6-6, but they got there by LOSING their last 6 games. UCLA won (!) the Pac 12 South with a stellar 6-7 record (and bowl sanctions aganist USC) and 2 staggeringly huge losses to USC (50-0) and Oregon (49-31).
San Francisco 49ers Forever 
Well dang it’s some gawdawful early AM hour but Chuck Comes Through once again so, to quote and rely:
“There are some games that just lend themselves to taking a look at, at least. The Sugar Bowl, the Cotton Bowl, the Orange Bowl. But the GoDaddy.com Bowl? How does that rate? Ark St. vs Northern Illinois? Really? I mean, seriously, did any of you watch the Beef ‘O’Brady Bowl? What the f*ck IS the Beef ‘O’Brady Bowl? Or the Belk Bowl? I’ve visited the Belk Bowl, but that was after drinking too much whiskey.”
Yeah I always avoid the fuckin’ Belk Bowl when I’m sober. Way things are goin’ we’re headed full speed to the GD Toilet Bowl pitting 4-6 Nowhere U vs 3-7 Crapsville State. Actually we have no college football here so I wil have to content myself with the sacrifice of the Lambs…
The 20th century still has room if you go wanna go back, Phil..
I’m there. The Philippines is about fifty years behind in some ways
You’re crazier than I am (and that’s sayin’ sumthin’) if you think the Rams would trade that pick away. There’s going to be whole new regime next year. Don’t you think the new GM and HC would like to start off with the most coveted college QB since Jesus walked the Earth? The Rams have a lot of money invested into Bradford, but not time. Two years? They’ll wave goodbye and trade him to a team in desperate need of a good, young QB and that has deep pockets. I hope Sam likes D.C.
Unless you feel like facing Luck 2x/yr for the next dozen years or so, I have two words:
GO JAGS!
Whaaaa? You mean Jesus had a QB rating higher than St. Tebow?
Shit there goes my religion….
I watched both the FSU/ND and BU/WAS games yesterday. Talk about a literal contrast of night and day. The Seminoles’ offense just stunk on ice. But I cut them some slack as they started ALL freshmen on their OL. You could see them improve by leaps and bounds from the first to second halves. 5 sacks surrendered first half. Just one the second. ND used THREE QBs who all sucked in their own special way. I’ve heard the old expression, “when you have two QBs you have none.” WTF do you have when you have three QBs? A bunch of sorry sacks of shit who pray to Jesus Christ but get no answer because the Big Man is too busy answering Tebow’s.
LOL, good one
And that Bears/Huskies game was an utter disgrace — defensively speaking. 123 pts? Nearly 1,400 yds of combined offense. That’s a joke. Baylor gained 777 yards, Washington gained 620, and Florida State/Notre Dame gained 570 COMBINED.
The guy doing the color commentary last night (Chris Spielman ) knows a little about defense. He was utterly honest and brutal about their performances, or lack thereof… “To me, the (defensive) guys out there have no idea what they’re doing.”
No idea what they’re doing. I think that’s the first criteria to be a member of Chuck’s blog.
Nobody – NOBODY – is going to pass on or trade Luck.
Their own fan base would kill them if they did.
The Colts will take him and bid Manning a fond farewell. The Rams would take him and trade Bradford for some weapons for Luck to use.
Agree with ya grumpy
If the Rams get Luck, he instantly becomes the best NFL QB in the NFC West.
If we could somehow get him, 3 or 4 years under Alex and he could be ready to take over…
Maybe not in Year One – even Luck will have to get used to the speed of the NFL game. But in a year or two, if they can build a team around him…
The Rams would trade Luck..
The only way Elway is going to get out from under the wackos like Denny boy is to trade for Manning and ship T-Blow off to God’s country- Jacksonville…
You can mock and contemptuously mimic Tebow all you want. There’s no denying this: He’s GREAT for the NFL. Tebow’s a TV ratings bonanza and his jerseys sell like hot cakes. Goodell doesn’t care if they’re being bought by “wackos” such as myself, Benny Hinn or the late Jim Jones. It’s all green.
Personally, I prefer to drink Kool-Aid and watch Benny Hill.
He’ll sell more shit in the South…for awhile.
Way I hear it- voices in my head- old Dennis is the model of sanity compared to some a them Bronks / Tebow fans. I have this on excellent authority.
I haven’t heard anything either way regarding what StL would do with the #1. Yeah, they are going to gut the coaching staff. However, they aren’t going to gut the front office. I still think Indy loses and gets him.
But, to continue my thought I think StL trades out of they get it.
Hey, Phil. I’ve probably asked you this before, but my ability to recollect isn’t what it used to be…how many hrs. are you ahead of PST? I thought it was 16 hrs. Hey, 16. That’s how many TDs Alex Smith has thrown this year. Tony Romo has thrown 16 TDs…since Week 9.
And he’s got a durn good shot to finish over .500..
Who’s your pick for the DAL/NYG game on Sunday night that’ll decide the NFC East?
“Beware of man with bruised and bandaged hand. For he carries the entire weight of Cowboys into the land of Giants.”
—Confucius Denny
Or is that “Confused Denny?” Matters not…
What’s Romo’s December record, Dennis?
Don’t worry. It’s 7-12.
Romo all the way!
Actually we’re 9 hours ahead of the West coast now that DST is over. Why do I suspect this is NOT about ‘time’ but a sneaky way of broaching the subject of Romo vs Smith?
Just wondering.
Did you know…? Lt. Uhura (Nichelle Nichols) resigned after her first yr on “Star Trek” only to be persuaded to stay on by Dr. MLK himself? Yep. He told her she had the first black role on TV that wasn’t a stereotype. Her role, according to Dr. King, showed honor, dignity, and intelligence for African Americans nationwide. The following Monday morning, Nichols walked into Gene Roddenberry’s office and withdrew her resignation, to which Gene said, “God bless Dr. Martin Luther King.”
“Live long and prosper.” That’s goes out to everyone. Everyone expect those named Alexander Douglas Smith. 😛
Relentless Del Mar.
Did you know Part II…? “Under certain circumstances, nutmeg can produce hallucigenic effects much like the ones from Marijuana? Yep. The reason for this is that it contains a compound called myristicin. It’s found in it’s seeds, and large quantities of it provide deliriant effects and can cause hallucinations if consumed in excess.”
Now if ya’ll please excuse me, I’ve got a date with a punch bowl full of egg nog.
Happy New Year.
I don’t know if any of you are watching the Insight Bowl, but I can tell ya one thing with certainty…the Okie cheerleaders all must be named Honor Blackman. Nothing but Pussy Galore standing on the Sooner sideline. Goddamn.
How I yearn for college, ah, football
Eli wins big games, Dennis. Romo hasn’t won any in recent memory. And this game won’t change things.
Chuck, in Romo’s last 8 December games he has 17 TDs and ONE INT. That’s no misprint, 17 TDs and just 1 INT in his last 8 December contests. You find me a QB with better numbers in that span and I’ll buy you a bottle of Jameson Irish Whiskey.
Don’t waste your time looking. Take a sip of what’s in front of ya and dream (like I do) how better this team would be with Tony at QB. Thinking otherwise if pure folly beyond belief.
Thinking isn’t your forte, Dennis.
Romo is 1-3 this December, Dennis. This isn’t fantasy football. This is reality. If Smith had missed that WIDE OPEN pass to Austin and then went on to lose the game, your reaction would have been swift and volcanic. As it was, Romo gets a pass from you because you love you some Romo. The Niners would be in worse shape with him piloting this team this year.
Sure, Ryan’s defense sucks ass. But Romo makes that pass and the game’s over. He missed it and they lost. Numbers are great for fantasy teams, but here in reality-ville, I’ll take wins . . .
That’s a nice rebuttal chuck
Scoring Predictions for Niners @ Rams:
24-10 Niners phil “I won last weeks poll. Listen to me…”
27-6 Niners barleyfreak “Rams are going to mail it in”
35-7 Niners twinfan “Need to bury these scumbags…”
23-13 Niners Del Mar “I’m no fan of Kappy either”
24-0 Niners Chuck “Rams won’t cross the 50”
The Rams aren’t good enough to be accused of “mailing it in”.We’ve had too many games where we’ve let an inferior team hang in too long- Rams won’t mailing shit in if they’re in it in the fourth quarter. Need to bury these scumbags so “Kappy” can get get time and Death Threat can tell us how he’s already better than Alex
35-7 Niners.
35 pts? Surely you’re not suggesting that the team with the 30th ranked RZ offense will score 5 TDs tomorrow? Sounds like 7 more FGs for Green Akers, a Carlos Rogers Pick 6 and an Aldon Smith sack, fumble recovery in the EZ if ya ask me.
And I’m no fan of “Kappy” either. “Give me Romo or give me death!” — Dennis Patrick Henry
Have you made your pick? STFU and make it. BTW, I have a much better death target for you.. T-Blow himself. Think about it-you’d make him a martyr for eternity and your name would live forever.
Beats ” Here lies a drunk” …
My dead ass isn’t about to lie anywhere — I’m getting cremated. So you better change your catchphrase to: “There goes that drunk up in smoke.”
23-13 NINERS. That’s right, I’m picking the Niners to win tomorrow.
It’s the fucking Rams. Even I can’t stretch my schtick to pick against the Niners to lose vs the “same old sorry ass Rams.” Even I have limits.*
*alcohol consumption excluded
Fair enough, it’s a first- Denny’s picking the Niners, woohoo. I’ll update the list tomorrow on chuck’s game day blog so the whole world can see the genius on display here.
It’s official: Joe Hastings has been promoted to the 53-man roster and he’ll wear #13.
So is everyone going out to buy themselves a new Joe Hastings jersey?
I would, but I don’t have any room left in my closet. It’s chock-full of #11’s.
Well, ‘Here lies a drunk’ does beat ‘Here lies an abrasive asshole’, hands down.
Naw, they’ll bury Dennis face down and use him for a bike rack . . .
He’s used to getting rubber between the cheeks . . .
How’d you know that I make balloon animals for kids at parties?
Your’s would be easy — no twisting involved. I’d make you one big and long snake.
You know where to put it.
It was you blowing up the balloons with your ass that got you arrested . . .
Talk about a rebuttal…
Don’t be so hard on yourself, GG.
And the beat (down) goes on (and on and on)
We’re having fun right?
24-0 Niners . . .
The Rams won;t cross the 50 . . .
Did Skeebers site blow up? Haven’t been able to log in for a while. . .
Did Spitty kill another blog?
I can’t get in either. I’m sure you’ve uttered those exact words in the bedroom a time or two. I thought I might have been banned for excessive bee knowledge. That’s a 15 yd wax job in the beehive.
#11, Spit Ball (9/1) is about to run in the 5th at SA. I’ll almost pulled the trigger.
But I came to my quick senses. Now watch that fucker win…
Spit ran 4th, but my Pick 4 is history. Fuck it all to hell.
Maybe some doomers trashed it because of his prediction..
The Cowboys just had to put their punter on IR and call up the guy from their PS.
I’m sure when he kicks a 30 yd line drive that gets returned for TD. I’ll be reminded that it’s Tony Romo’s fault.
Just like it’s gonna be Alex’s fault when Drew Brees comes here and beats the living stuffing outta us like no Thanksgiving turkey has ever endured before…
And I swear to Goddamn Christ. None of you better be cooking turkey for New Years Day. It’s bad enough if you went turkey/turkey for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Don’t you even attempt for the bowling turkey. And make it three times in a row…My two favorite bowlers were Earl Anthony and Mark Roth. Nobody could p/u the 7-10 split like Roth could…
Denny, check with your shrink. I’m sure she’ll be OK with killing a guy who’s 8-7 instead of 12-3.
You know what really scares me? I think she might be OK with me killing the #1 guy on my Top 10 Most Wanted List. I think she wants to clear her schedule. 😀
What level headed professional mental care worker *wouldn’t* be in favor of murdering an NFL QB?
If this was anything more than hot air a couple would be dead already
And not that any of you gives a rat’s ass, but I’m going with either a pork loin roast or some rib eyes. I’ll be the only turkey sitting at or on my table. And don’t you get sanctimonious and try to be holier-than-thou. I know I’m not the only one who’s slept on the kitchen table before…I’m a good friend, I’d throw a blanket over your ass. Then I’d drink whatever booze you had left…
Happy New Year to all you fucking mooks.
Cheers and same to you!
Now I have to limp up the street and buy my neighbor a lb. of ground beef at the Mexican store. Listen to me bitch and moan. She’s in a goddamn wheelchair. I can still walk. We need to try and put it all in perspective. Believe me, it’s easier said than done…
Yeah, you do that.
You’re not gonna believe this shit…I hobbled up 4 blocks only to find that the goddamn Mexicans had already closed early for New Year’s Eve. No soup ( ground beef) for you (my neighbor)!
But I’ll tell ya what’s even worse than the Mexicans closing early…
The (my) liquor store across the street from them is changing hands. I’ve known the owner (Maria) and her employees (Nicole and Ben) for years on end. I know their families and the name of their children. Now new people are coming in? There goes my credit…
Just explain your position on wetbacks and I’m sure the new owners, Raul and Lupe will extend you credit..
They just want all our cush jobs, blast ’em Death Threat!
BEAT THE LAMBS!
That Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl was a true goddamn joke. A 6-6 “fighting” Illini team (losers of 6 straight) vs a 6-7 FUCLA squad that needed a special dispensation from Pope Benny XVI to even play with their losing record in the first place.
If I had my druthers, I’d send both those teams to Mexico.
I’m sure they were starving…
I’m a fucking first-class mook. Wasting my time here on the goddamn blog caused me to get shut out of Les Onaka’s single (Stately Appeal) in the first leg of the late PK 4 at LOS AL. He won by a full length — in quarter horse racing, that’s a fucking mile.
I have no one else to blame but myself. Well, Frank just woke up and sat on the kitchen table. Maybe I can blame him? Nah, there’s only one mook who resides this apartment…
As I’ve been told many a times before…”you still have the Pick 3.”
All I have coming is an ice pick…
Damn fireworks are freaking out my dog.
My Wife? Done in, wink wink . . .
Happy new years, Niner fans!!!
And you, too, Dennis.
Right back at’cha, you closet Raider fan. I would if I could bestow upon you the lone star of the great state of Texas. But Romo’s wife won’t allow such atrocities. You’re on your own…
All Tony Romo jokes aside, self included. Frank and I really do appreciate all the time and effort you’ve put forward into your Niner blog. And the fact that Frank and I still have a voice means a lot to the both of us. Happy New Year!
Happy New Years everyone. Indy better lose today, I definitely don’t want the Stinking Rams to get him. Go Niners…what a great season we have had, and there is still more to come. Wonderful.
The Rams would trade him, don’t worry about it…
Lambs need some LUCK! Just not today.
Keep telling yourself that. Eventually it might come true…
That’s what my shrink tells me anyway…
It’ll be a cold bed in your next stay at a St. Helena hospital, my favorite mook…
THE WILL and WOULD NOT TRADE THAT PICK!
You better check the exp. date on your meds. I’ve run into that same problem myself…
I have never stayed at St. Helena hospital. You’re are probably confused from your stays at the Rehab center in St. Helena.
Leave it to you to get literal and kill a joke. I do believe you’ve used their ER services…play along.
Shocker! Another 49er drive ends in a Akers FG attempt.
Bigger shocker…he missed the motherfucker.
OK, game time means Death Threat Denny time. Enjoy.
NEW POST NEW POST NEW POST
Dang Akers with the missed FG
Damm….Akers pulled that one like my golf drives.