Suck for Luck, College Football, and the Playoffs

Here we are at week 17, and there’s still a ton of playoff scenarios in the air. This includes the #2 seed in the AFC (Balt or Pitts) and NFC (SF or NO), the final division winners in the AFC West (Denver or Oak), and the NFC East (NYG or Dal), and the last WC spot for the AFC (Jet, Titans, Bengals, Raiders). Dallas or the Giants are eliminated fro the playoffs with a loss, as is Denver. The Raiders have a shot if they lose because of whatever the Byzantine rules are for determining that final spot should everyone fail.

Which brings us to the other side of the standings. The ‘Suck for Luck’ standings. There are 2 teams left in the race. The St Louis Rams and the Indy Colts. If both teams lose, Indy gets the pick because of lack-of-strength of schedule. Jacksonville, the team facing the Colts, has to be thinking “Hmmmmmmmm, this would be a great time to activate all the practice squad guys . . .” Their prize for winning this game would be to face Andrew Luck 2x a year for the next 12-15 years. I bet they are thrilled about that. Which brings us to St Louis. They have invested a lot of time and money into Sam Bradford, but after a strong rookie campaign, they fell flat on their collective faces this season. None of which is Bradford’s fault, but you have to wonder if they’d go with the guy they have, or shoot the moon and take Luck. Bradford has missed the last 2 games (5 overall), andd will likely miss the last one against the Niners, so it doesn’t look like StL will win. Since they look to probably stick with Bradford, and shit-can their coaching staff this offseason, this means StL trades out. Shit, they could trade out and end up with Griffith III. I saw the highlights of that Baylor game. Craaaaaaazy shit. 67-58? Griffith didn’t even have that great a game, 24-33, 295 and a TD, but they had a whopping 485 on the ground.

Speaking of college football. Here we are at game #22 of the final 64, or some shit like that, and I’ve seen maybe 10 minutes of football. And that was the opening of the Cal / Texas game.  Cal looked OK til they killed their first few drives with turnovers. Then I got bored. The Stanford game looks good, the Rose Bowl is always exciting (I have a lot of Duck alum friends) but LSU / Alabama? The 2 teams that played to an epic 6-3 battle? ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…..  Until they come up with a playoff system, this shit’ll be rigged to death. I may watch some of the pinstripe bowl (shit, we run out of names yet) to see the Rutgers WR Mohamed Sanu. There are some games that just lend themselves to taking a look at, at least. The Sugar Bowl, the Cotton Bowl, the Orange Bowl. But the GoDaddy.conm Bowl? How does that rate? Ark St. vs Northern Illinois? Really? I mean, seriously, did any of you watch the Beef ‘O’Brady Bowl? What the f*ck IS the Beef ‘O’Brady Bowl?  Or the Belk Bowl? I’ve visited the Belk Bowl, but that was after drinking too much whiskey.

And hey, locally we have the 10th annual Kraft Fight Hunger Emerald Blue Diamond San Francisco Nut Bowl between 2 stunningly mediocre teams in Illinois and UCLA. Illinois is at a decent 6-6, but they got there by LOSING their last 6 games.  UCLA won (!) the Pac 12 South with a stellar 6-7 record (and bowl sanctions aganist USC) and 2 staggeringly huge losses to USC (50-0) and Oregon (49-31).


About unca_chuck

Lifelong SF 49ers and SF Giants fan
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94 Responses to Suck for Luck, College Football, and the Playoffs

  1. phil fan says:

    Well dang it’s some gawdawful early AM hour but Chuck Comes Through once again so, to quote and rely:

    “There are some games that just lend themselves to taking a look at, at least. The Sugar Bowl, the Cotton Bowl, the Orange Bowl. But the Bowl? How does that rate? Ark St. vs Northern Illinois? Really? I mean, seriously, did any of you watch the Beef ‘O’Brady Bowl? What the f*ck IS the Beef ‘O’Brady Bowl? Or the Belk Bowl? I’ve visited the Belk Bowl, but that was after drinking too much whiskey.”

    Yeah I always avoid the fuckin’ Belk Bowl when I’m sober. Way things are goin’ we’re headed full speed to the GD Toilet Bowl pitting 4-6 Nowhere U vs 3-7 Crapsville State. Actually we have no college football here so I wil have to content myself with the sacrifice of the Lambs…

  2. Del Mar Dennis says:

    You’re crazier than I am (and that’s sayin’ sumthin’) if you think the Rams would trade that pick away. There’s going to be whole new regime next year. Don’t you think the new GM and HC would like to start off with the most coveted college QB since Jesus walked the Earth? The Rams have a lot of money invested into Bradford, but not time. Two years? They’ll wave goodbye and trade him to a team in desperate need of a good, young QB and that has deep pockets. I hope Sam likes D.C.

    Unless you feel like facing Luck 2x/yr for the next dozen years or so, I have two words:
    GO JAGS!

  3. Del Mar Dennis says:

    I watched both the FSU/ND and BU/WAS games yesterday. Talk about a literal contrast of night and day. The Seminoles’ offense just stunk on ice. But I cut them some slack as they started ALL freshmen on their OL. You could see them improve by leaps and bounds from the first to second halves. 5 sacks surrendered first half. Just one the second. ND used THREE QBs who all sucked in their own special way. I’ve heard the old expression, “when you have two QBs you have none.” WTF do you have when you have three QBs? A bunch of sorry sacks of shit who pray to Jesus Christ but get no answer because the Big Man is too busy answering Tebow’s.

  4. Del Mar Dennis says:

    And that Bears/Huskies game was an utter disgrace — defensively speaking. 123 pts? Nearly 1,400 yds of combined offense. That’s a joke. Baylor gained 777 yards, Washington gained 620, and Florida State/Notre Dame gained 570 COMBINED.

    The guy doing the color commentary last night (Chris Spielman ) knows a little about defense. He was utterly honest and brutal about their performances, or lack thereof… “To me, the (defensive) guys out there have no idea what they’re doing.”

    No idea what they’re doing. I think that’s the first criteria to be a member of Chuck’s blog.

  5. Nobody – NOBODY – is going to pass on or trade Luck.

    Their own fan base would kill them if they did.

    The Colts will take him and bid Manning a fond farewell. The Rams would take him and trade Bradford for some weapons for Luck to use.

  6. Del Mar Dennis says:

    If the Rams get Luck, he instantly becomes the best NFL QB in the NFC West.

  7. Maybe not in Year One – even Luck will have to get used to the speed of the NFL game. But in a year or two, if they can build a team around him…

  8. twinfan1 says:

    The Rams would trade Luck..

  9. twinfan1 says:

    The only way Elway is going to get out from under the wackos like Denny boy is to trade for Manning and ship T-Blow off to God’s country- Jacksonville…

    • Del Mar Dennis says:

      You can mock and contemptuously mimic Tebow all you want. There’s no denying this: He’s GREAT for the NFL. Tebow’s a TV ratings bonanza and his jerseys sell like hot cakes. Goodell doesn’t care if they’re being bought by “wackos” such as myself, Benny Hinn or the late Jim Jones. It’s all green.

      Personally, I prefer to drink Kool-Aid and watch Benny Hill.

  10. phil fan says:

    Way I hear it- voices in my head- old Dennis is the model of sanity compared to some a them Bronks / Tebow fans. I have this on excellent authority.

  11. unca_chuck says:

    I haven’t heard anything either way regarding what StL would do with the #1. Yeah, they are going to gut the coaching staff. However, they aren’t going to gut the front office. I still think Indy loses and gets him.

  12. unca_chuck says:

    But, to continue my thought I think StL trades out of they get it.

  13. Del Mar Dennis says:

    Hey, Phil. I’ve probably asked you this before, but my ability to recollect isn’t what it used to be…how many hrs. are you ahead of PST? I thought it was 16 hrs. Hey, 16. That’s how many TDs Alex Smith has thrown this year. Tony Romo has thrown 16 TDs…since Week 9.

  14. Del Mar Dennis says:

    Did you know…? Lt. Uhura (Nichelle Nichols) resigned after her first yr on “Star Trek” only to be persuaded to stay on by Dr. MLK himself? Yep. He told her she had the first black role on TV that wasn’t a stereotype. Her role, according to Dr. King, showed honor, dignity, and intelligence for African Americans nationwide. The following Monday morning, Nichols walked into Gene Roddenberry’s office and withdrew her resignation, to which Gene said, “God bless Dr. Martin Luther King.”

    “Live long and prosper.” That’s goes out to everyone. Everyone expect those named Alexander Douglas Smith. 😛

  15. Del Mar Dennis says:

    Did you know Part II…? “Under certain circumstances, nutmeg can produce hallucigenic effects much like the ones from Marijuana? Yep. The reason for this is that it contains a compound called myristicin. It’s found in it’s seeds, and large quantities of it provide deliriant effects and can cause hallucinations if consumed in excess.”

    Now if ya’ll please excuse me, I’ve got a date with a punch bowl full of egg nog.

    Happy New Year.

  16. Del Mar Dennis says:

    I don’t know if any of you are watching the Insight Bowl, but I can tell ya one thing with certainty…the Okie cheerleaders all must be named Honor Blackman. Nothing but Pussy Galore standing on the Sooner sideline. Goddamn.

  17. unca_chuck says:

    Eli wins big games, Dennis. Romo hasn’t won any in recent memory. And this game won’t change things.

  18. Del Mar Dennis says:

    Chuck, in Romo’s last 8 December games he has 17 TDs and ONE INT. That’s no misprint, 17 TDs and just 1 INT in his last 8 December contests. You find me a QB with better numbers in that span and I’ll buy you a bottle of Jameson Irish Whiskey.

    Don’t waste your time looking. Take a sip of what’s in front of ya and dream (like I do) how better this team would be with Tony at QB. Thinking otherwise if pure folly beyond belief.

    • unca_chuck says:

      Thinking isn’t your forte, Dennis.

    • unca_chuck says:

      Romo is 1-3 this December, Dennis. This isn’t fantasy football. This is reality. If Smith had missed that WIDE OPEN pass to Austin and then went on to lose the game, your reaction would have been swift and volcanic. As it was, Romo gets a pass from you because you love you some Romo. The Niners would be in worse shape with him piloting this team this year.

      Sure, Ryan’s defense sucks ass. But Romo makes that pass and the game’s over. He missed it and they lost. Numbers are great for fantasy teams, but here in reality-ville, I’ll take wins . . .

  19. phil fan says:

    Scoring Predictions for Niners @ Rams:

    24-10 Niners phil “I won last weeks poll. Listen to me…”
    27-6 Niners barleyfreak “Rams are going to mail it in”

    • phil fan says:

      35-7 Niners twinfan “Need to bury these scumbags…”
      23-13 Niners Del Mar “I’m no fan of Kappy either”
      24-0 Niners Chuck “Rams won’t cross the 50”

  20. twinfan1 says:

    The Rams aren’t good enough to be accused of “mailing it in”.We’ve had too many games where we’ve let an inferior team hang in too long- Rams won’t mailing shit in if they’re in it in the fourth quarter. Need to bury these scumbags so “Kappy” can get get time and Death Threat can tell us how he’s already better than Alex
    35-7 Niners.

    • Del Mar Dennis says:

      35 pts? Surely you’re not suggesting that the team with the 30th ranked RZ offense will score 5 TDs tomorrow? Sounds like 7 more FGs for Green Akers, a Carlos Rogers Pick 6 and an Aldon Smith sack, fumble recovery in the EZ if ya ask me.

      And I’m no fan of “Kappy” either. “Give me Romo or give me death!” — Dennis Patrick Henry

  21. twinfan1 says:

    Have you made your pick? STFU and make it. BTW, I have a much better death target for you.. T-Blow himself. Think about it-you’d make him a martyr for eternity and your name would live forever.
    Beats ” Here lies a drunk” …

    • Del Mar Dennis says:

      My dead ass isn’t about to lie anywhere — I’m getting cremated. So you better change your catchphrase to: “There goes that drunk up in smoke.”

      23-13 NINERS. That’s right, I’m picking the Niners to win tomorrow.
      It’s the fucking Rams. Even I can’t stretch my schtick to pick against the Niners to lose vs the “same old sorry ass Rams.” Even I have limits.*

      *alcohol consumption excluded

      • phil fan says:

        Fair enough, it’s a first- Denny’s picking the Niners, woohoo. I’ll update the list tomorrow on chuck’s game day blog so the whole world can see the genius on display here.

  22. Del Mar Dennis says:

    It’s official: Joe Hastings has been promoted to the 53-man roster and he’ll wear #13.

    So is everyone going out to buy themselves a new Joe Hastings jersey?
    I would, but I don’t have any room left in my closet. It’s chock-full of #11’s.

  23. Well, ‘Here lies a drunk’ does beat ‘Here lies an abrasive asshole’, hands down.

  24. unca_chuck says:

    24-0 Niners . . .

    The Rams won;t cross the 50 . . .

  25. unca_chuck says:

    Did Skeebers site blow up? Haven’t been able to log in for a while. . .

    Did Spitty kill another blog?

    • Del Mar Dennis says:

      I can’t get in either. I’m sure you’ve uttered those exact words in the bedroom a time or two. I thought I might have been banned for excessive bee knowledge. That’s a 15 yd wax job in the beehive.

      • Del Mar Dennis says:

        #11, Spit Ball (9/1) is about to run in the 5th at SA. I’ll almost pulled the trigger.
        But I came to my quick senses. Now watch that fucker win…

      • Del Mar Dennis says:

        Spit ran 4th, but my Pick 4 is history. Fuck it all to hell.

    • twinfan1 says:

      Maybe some doomers trashed it because of his prediction..

  26. Del Mar Dennis says:

    The Cowboys just had to put their punter on IR and call up the guy from their PS.
    I’m sure when he kicks a 30 yd line drive that gets returned for TD. I’ll be reminded that it’s Tony Romo’s fault.

    Just like it’s gonna be Alex’s fault when Drew Brees comes here and beats the living stuffing outta us like no Thanksgiving turkey has ever endured before…

    • Del Mar Dennis says:

      And I swear to Goddamn Christ. None of you better be cooking turkey for New Years Day. It’s bad enough if you went turkey/turkey for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Don’t you even attempt for the bowling turkey. And make it three times in a row…My two favorite bowlers were Earl Anthony and Mark Roth. Nobody could p/u the 7-10 split like Roth could…

  27. twinfan1 says:

    Denny, check with your shrink. I’m sure she’ll be OK with killing a guy who’s 8-7 instead of 12-3.

  28. Del Mar Dennis says:

    And not that any of you gives a rat’s ass, but I’m going with either a pork loin roast or some rib eyes. I’ll be the only turkey sitting at or on my table. And don’t you get sanctimonious and try to be holier-than-thou. I know I’m not the only one who’s slept on the kitchen table before…I’m a good friend, I’d throw a blanket over your ass. Then I’d drink whatever booze you had left…

  29. grumpyguy says:

    Happy New Year to all you fucking mooks.

  30. Del Mar Dennis says:

    Now I have to limp up the street and buy my neighbor a lb. of ground beef at the Mexican store. Listen to me bitch and moan. She’s in a goddamn wheelchair. I can still walk. We need to try and put it all in perspective. Believe me, it’s easier said than done…

  31. twinfan1 says:

    Yeah, you do that.

    • Del Mar Dennis says:

      You’re not gonna believe this shit…I hobbled up 4 blocks only to find that the goddamn Mexicans had already closed early for New Year’s Eve. No soup ( ground beef) for you (my neighbor)!

      • Del Mar Dennis says:

        But I’ll tell ya what’s even worse than the Mexicans closing early…
        The (my) liquor store across the street from them is changing hands. I’ve known the owner (Maria) and her employees (Nicole and Ben) for years on end. I know their families and the name of their children. Now new people are coming in? There goes my credit…

      • twinfan1 says:

        Just explain your position on wetbacks and I’m sure the new owners, Raul and Lupe will extend you credit..

      • twinfan1 says:

        They just want all our cush jobs, blast ’em Death Threat!

  32. Nipper says:


  33. Del Mar Dennis says:

    That Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl was a true goddamn joke. A 6-6 “fighting” Illini team (losers of 6 straight) vs a 6-7 FUCLA squad that needed a special dispensation from Pope Benny XVI to even play with their losing record in the first place.

    If I had my druthers, I’d send both those teams to Mexico.

  34. twinfan1 says:

    I’m sure they were starving…

  35. Del Mar Dennis says:

    I’m a fucking first-class mook. Wasting my time here on the goddamn blog caused me to get shut out of Les Onaka’s single (Stately Appeal) in the first leg of the late PK 4 at LOS AL. He won by a full length — in quarter horse racing, that’s a fucking mile.

    I have no one else to blame but myself. Well, Frank just woke up and sat on the kitchen table. Maybe I can blame him? Nah, there’s only one mook who resides this apartment…

    • Del Mar Dennis says:

      As I’ve been told many a times before…”you still have the Pick 3.”
      All I have coming is an ice pick…

  36. unca_chuck says:

    Damn fireworks are freaking out my dog.

    My Wife? Done in, wink wink . . .

    Happy new years, Niner fans!!!

    And you, too, Dennis.

    • Del Mar Dennis says:

      Right back at’cha, you closet Raider fan. I would if I could bestow upon you the lone star of the great state of Texas. But Romo’s wife won’t allow such atrocities. You’re on your own…

      • Del Mar Dennis says:

        All Tony Romo jokes aside, self included. Frank and I really do appreciate all the time and effort you’ve put forward into your Niner blog. And the fact that Frank and I still have a voice means a lot to the both of us. Happy New Year!

  37. winder says:

    Happy New Years everyone. Indy better lose today, I definitely don’t want the Stinking Rams to get him. Go Niners…what a great season we have had, and there is still more to come. Wonderful.

  38. twinfan1 says:

    The Rams would trade him, don’t worry about it…

    • Nipper says:

      Lambs need some LUCK! Just not today.

    • Del Mar Dennis says:

      Keep telling yourself that. Eventually it might come true…
      That’s what my shrink tells me anyway…

      • Del Mar Dennis says:

        It’ll be a cold bed in your next stay at a St. Helena hospital, my favorite mook…

        You better check the exp. date on your meds. I’ve run into that same problem myself…

      • twinfan1 says:

        I have never stayed at St. Helena hospital. You’re are probably confused from your stays at the Rehab center in St. Helena.

      • Del Mar Dennis says:

        Leave it to you to get literal and kill a joke. I do believe you’ve used their ER services…play along.

        Shocker! Another 49er drive ends in a Akers FG attempt.
        Bigger shocker…he missed the motherfucker.

  39. twinfan1 says:

    OK, game time means Death Threat Denny time. Enjoy.

  40. unca_chuck says:


  41. phil fan says:

    Dang Akers with the missed FG

  42. Alleykat says:

    Damm….Akers pulled that one like my golf drives.

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