Since I haven’t been paying much attention to the draft, I haven’t had the unfortunate disappointment of seeing Mel Kiper Jr’s disgustingly smug face disgracing my big screen TV. Then again, maybe they didn’t dig him up from his coffin of mothballs to pontificate on the idiot GMs of the day next weekend. But you have to give it to the Not-So-Odd couple of ESPN and the NFL to conjure up what used to be a back-room-of-the-Hilton three-hour mundane conference into the orgasmic shit-show of babbling inanity that is the NFL Draft. Nowadays, there are no less than 6,000,000,000 mock drafts out there, and all of them are wrong. In fact, you get past 4 picks, and all those 6,000,000,000 are still wrong. How one can profess to even bother with who Cleveland will pick with the 273rd pick is baffling to me. In the last 10 years I got Antawn Balmer right (and a signed Alex Smith jersey), and I correctly guessed Kappy in the 2011 draft. I think I’m ahead of 5,999,999,999 prognosticators out there. But that is neither her nor there. This is about the draft, not my picking acumen. Although I should at least be getting Kiper money for this.
Anyhow, the marketing frenzy that is the draft has left its’ home of the Big Assho, uh, Apple to be held in its new home of Sweet home Chicago. The latest craze with it is to be bestowed the God-like status of hosting the thing. Much like the Super Bowl, the city hosting gets the full-throttle corporate overload of crass consumerism and utter bullshit crammed down their gaping maws. Having just walked through Super Bowl city not too long ago it was the usual overpriced crap, multiple vendors selling overpriced food (in a city where you can good cheap food nearly anywhere), and cushy environs to enjoy the frenzy from a safe distance behind moneyed entrances. Didn’t bother with the pay-per-orgy side (the SOMA part) of the thing so I don’t know what I missed short of the shit I saw on TV.
But I digress. The point being, uh, I don’ know. This is a clusterfuck of the usual corporate glad-handing to the rich sponsors and their minions to support a world of disillusionment. Blah blah blah. BUT! It is paramount for the 49ers to have a very strong draft if they are to make anything out of this season. New coaching staff and new expectations be damned, this team has hemorrhaged a ton of talent since the 2014 season of disappointment. Trent Baalke has overseen a team with few holes to now a swiss-cheese like roster. All in 3 short years. Take a look at the drafts alongside this blog. They go back to Scotty’s last stand, 2010. The list of busts is long and varied, with a few late-round surprises sprinkled in.
And speaking of disillusionment, the good news is Trent Baalke has 12 draft picks at his disposal this draft. The bad news? Wait for it. Trent Baalke has 12 draft picks to waste this draft. He went on record (!) to say that the Niners take a ‘draft and develop’ approach to the draft. As opposed to a ‘draft players that can actually play’ approach. to me it sounds like ‘draft unknown guys who either won’t make the cut when their rookie deals come due’, or ‘draft damaged goods that don’t set foot on the field for 3 years’. Or ever.
Forty Niners Forever 
Just heard that Curry has a grade 1 knee strain. Which is the least damaging. Maybe the Clippers series gets dragged out, he’ll only miss one game.
speaking of mothers
Grade 1 MCL sprain, to be re-evaluated in two weeks…
BTW, Chuck, Herb Caen’s ghost will haunt me if I don’t point this out: there is no such word in the English language as “its”” (paragraph 2, sentence 1). The word you were looking for is “its” (no apostrophe), a possessive pronoun.
Possessive pronouns are “my”, “your”, “his”, “her”, “its”, “our”, “your”, and “their”. You’re welcome!
Thank you, punctuation Nazi. At least I’m not conflating its’ with it’s.
I knew we’d never hear the end of that Kentwan fucking Balmer thing Chuck.
LOL
OMG we’re soooooo screwed. I can only hope he’s pre-draft Walshing.
Omg Troy smith was just the 2000 dolar answer on jeopardy !
Sniff……BOO HOO…….
Hah, Rob! I need to post a pic of it here.
The line was getting incrementally better last year, but not enough to be a good or even fair unit. With Boone gone, it isn’t better. AD is still likely AWOL or traded, so how can this be looked at as anything but an area that needs improvement?
Baalke is blowing smoke up his own ass yet again, and Jed is clapping and lapping intently.
yeah chuck, it’s amazing how all this crap just keeps coming. Baalky is definitely on a different plane of consciousness than the average human.
And, it’s gonna take 3 fucking days for us to see that nothing has changed.
Yeah, I don’t know what to think. Happy to get it over with?
Chris Paul broke his hand in tonight’s Clippers-Blazers game, which the Blazers lead by 12 in the 4th at the moment which would tie the series 2-2. This is important because the Warriors play the winner (if they can close out the Rockets without Steph).
The Blazers whipped the Warriors thoroughly in Portland a while back. That game and the Celtics loss at home changed the way teams defense the Warriors. All teams that have the personnel copied the Blazers and Celts. The change was dramatic.
The Blazers would be a tough matchup. OTOH, the Clippers are the team that knocked the Warriors out of the playoffs two years ago.
Playing a crippled Clippers team, especially if the Blazers-Clippers series goes six or seven (to give Steph time), would be best, but that series is wide, wide open now.
Wow. Update. Blake Griffin just tweaked his surgical knee. The Clippers are a mess.
I’d rather play the Clips. Even when healthy. They have less heart.
Love that song, Winder. ,
Tell ya one thing, since Myles Jack in an undersized LB coming off a knee injury, I”m sure we take him and he flops . . .
Trent will show the way! Perhaps he’ll draft a one-legged RB on crutches if there was one.
and we can pay him for the next 3 years while waiting on prosthesis
Yeah, I had hope for the draft until I heard the words “torn meniscus”.
Yeah that was Marcus Lattimore. I’m starting to think he drafts shitty to save money down the road.
No other reason for last year’s draft. Baalke missed EVERY need the team had.
At the time I thought the Lattimore pick was great, until i saw pictures of the knee.
A knee is a terrible thing to waste.
My pre draft musing goes like this
. Rd.1 Stanley
Rd. 2 Ogbah.
Any chance we get both ? I know Ogbah will probably go higher the rd.2 pick 7 but hey we do have ammo to trade up 5 spots or so …
Dodd also posted 12.5 sacks last season. There is a debate among analysts over who will be the first Clemson pass-rusher taken in the draft between Dodd and teammate Shaq Lawson.
Nassib led the nation last season with 15.5 sacks and six forced fumbles for the Nittany Lions.
Calhoun is a three-time All-American for Michigan State and set a career high with 10.5 sacks in 2015
If not Ogbah than maybe one of these in two please.
From Anthony Davis:
AD @BamDavis_ 2m2 minutes ago
The 49ers should Draft an Offensive Tackle in the top 10.
What a tool. Fucker ‘retires’ AFTER last year’s draft. Now he’s whining about Baalke (well, I’ll give him that), And he still hasn’t applied for reinstatement.
He doesn’t fit the agile quick mold that would seem to be Chip’s style anyway, so trade the fucker.
We still have his rights and after this nobody should want him anyway.
Fuck that.
Four down, twelve to go… Yeah, I know it’s only the 3rd and the Rockets just cut the lead to 24 from 31. But, c’mon… The Blazers are winning in LA and can close out the Clippers series in Game 6 in Portland. GOOOOOOO CLIPPERSSSSS!!!!! Never thought I’d write THAT lol.
DOWN GO THE ROCKETS (Howard Cosell voice)!
My work for another Draft is complete – Let’s see what Trent has in mind….
(C) = Combine participant
OLB –
Leonard Floyd – UGA 6’6″/244 (C) 4.60 (Tkls 184/38)
Joshua Perry – OH St 6’4″/254 (C) 4.68 (20 Reps) (Tkls 298/52)
Jordan Jenkins – UGA 6’2″/250 (C) 4.80 (16 Reps) (Tkls 205/52)
Montese Overton – ECU 6’2″/223 (ILB) (C) 4.61 (18 Reps) (Tkls 217/46)
Stephen Weatherly – Vandy 6’5″/267 (C) 4.61 (23 Reps) (Tkls 120/36)
James Cowser – So UT 6’3″/248 (DE) (C) 4.82 (21 Reps) (Tkls 291/48) (Sacks 42.5)