Pre-Season Prognostication?

Hey, I don’t know. Slow times call for desperate measures?

Anyhow. here’s what I wrote on the last thread. Before what I just read on BleacherReport regarding GMs and their recent activities. So, I’ll post what I wrote followed by a link to what the wonks at BR reported. They sort of line up in some cases, but in others they don’t. In other words, I don’t know as much as I think I do. But hey, it could work out how I think anyway.

Miami’s going all-in with the Chip Kelly offense. They’ll be most improved. Or they will suck hard and flop. I see them being vastly improved in a weak-assed AFC East. One and done though in the playoffs.

The Raiders? The only reason they improve is the stunning collapse of the Chargers. Besides, with Schlub as their QB, they’ll go nowhere fast. I still can’t figure how that weak division put 3 teams in the playoffs. Rivers reverts to his old ways, and they crater.

AZ 2015, yes. 2014? No. They are still banking on Ichabod Crane this year, and they won’t go far regardless of their defense. I love Logan Thomas, but he’s going to be on the bench all year if they have any sense. This is strictly a stop-gap year for them til they install Big Hoss.

Garrett going is a no duh. Jerry Jerk off is hoping against hope that the 49ers somehow let Harbaugh go. That was the main impetus to keep Garrett. Status quo until he can throw $12 mill a year at Harbaugh given the chance. I think Dennis Allen should hit the unemployment line should the Raiders stagger. Their best bet is 8-8, and he may not even survive that. Although I will say Prince (un)Valiant and Reggie MacKenzie have shown some restraint regarding the one-and done-ness of reunanimated re-undeadAl.

I think Atl bounces back better than the Vikes, but really, who gives a shit? The Vikes are boring as hell. Atl is at least a dynamic offnse when their WRs are healthy.
Here’s the link to the GM work of the past offseason. Remember this is OOOOOONLY based on the 2014 offseason:


About unca_chuck

Lifelong SF 49ers, SF Giants, and Golden State Warriors fan
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45 Responses to Pre-Season Prognostication?

  1. Spitblood says:

    Chuck, I’m reminded of the movie Once Upon a Time in the West. It’s a Sergio Leoni movie with Charles Bronson and Jason Robards. Bronson plays the harmonica. Robards offers that some can “play,” meaning they have game. Respectfully, you can’t play…. at least not with the likes of me.

    The Raiders will be much improved because of their offensive line and their run game. The Raiders have dumped offensive linemen and made an effort to acquire new linemen. They also now have McFadden and MJD. Those two will push each other, and give each other needed rest. Both can carry the load when necessary, but not for the entire season. Once the Raiders establish the run, Schaub will do what Schaub does best – play action.

    The Chargers are a question mark – Was the Rivers resurgence because of Ken Whizzerhurtz or because of the real McCoy? And another question that remains is whether Frank 3rd Reich of the Bills will be a good play caller for the Chargers. My gut feeling is that McCoy’s the real deal and he’s the main reason behind the Charger’s resurgence. And they brought in Donald Brown to go with Woodhead and Mathews. The Chargers will stay good. But so will the Chiefs. The Broncos are the team that will slip.

    Miami’s still a team reeling from the Incognito / Martin debacle, and I don’t see Regis Joe Philbin doing enough to create chemistry on the offensive line overnight. They drafted O linemen, but it won’t be enough. You want to go “Run and gun… fast paced?” like Chip? You better have the horses up front to do it with….and the running backs. Who are the Dolphin running backs? That division will remain a quagmire.

    The Cardinals? Logan Thomas? Logan Thomas is 3-4 years away from being a starting qb in the NFL. Bruce Arians will do wonders with Thomas in the Big Ben mold, but Thomas won’t be a factor in 2014. So why mention him? The Cardinals “factor,” will be their much improved secondary with Patrick Peterson, the Honey Badger, coming off knee surgery, and now their first round safety, Deion Buchanan. Because Crabtree owns Peterson, the 49ers will be able to throw on the Cardinals. However, the rest of the league won’t have as much success. Couple their quickly becoming great secondary with the Bruce Arians’ offense and the Cardinals will make the playoffs, bouncing either the Seahawks or the 49ers.

    The Vikings with Norv Turner won’t be boring. Did you watch any Browns games last year? Does the name Josh Gordon ring a bell? Turner plugged in his boy, Jason Campbell and the offense soared. Turner doesn’t have a Campbell, and he’ll have to decide between Ponder, Cassel and Bridgewater, but with Jennings, Peterson and Patterson, Norv Turner will put fantasy points gallore up in Minn. That will also equate to wins for Zimmer. And when Zimmer inspires his D, the Vikings will be fun once again. Not exactly Brett Favre fun, but fun none-the-less.

    And Atlanta? That team is goin’ down and the reason why is because they are no longer inspired by their coaching staff. I love the pick of Devanta Freeman to replace or supplement Jackson, but that won’t be enough. The team has no heart. Mike Smith is close with Dimitroff and Blank, but Smith is the problem. He’ll be booted after the Super Bowl.

    Keep practicing ’til you can play….

  2. The only play you get is with yourself, Spitty. Your right forearm looks like Rod Laver’s.

    Fuck Norv. He’s the kiss of death. Minnesota has a shitty QB, a shitty backup, and a shitty future hope. Ponder, Cassell, and Bridgewater? Oh my. They ALL suck. The Minnesota offense will be digital in that they will put up a lot of zeros.

    I mention Logan Thomas because Carson Palmer is AZ’s starting QB. Another shitty QB. Drew Stanton and Ryan Lindley as backups? Do they get their QBs from the witness protection program? Their moms don;t even recognize them. AZ can’t win if they don’t score. The NFC West may put 3 teams into the playoffs, or they could all beat the snot out of one another and one team crawls in at 9-7. But AZ looks to be passed up by the Rams. If their QB can get his shiot together.

    To strictly see the numbers where they came in, here’s the list of GMs in particluar descending order:

    32. John Dorsey – KC
    31. Jerry Jerk Off – Dallas
    30. Dave Gettleman – Carolina
    29. Ryan Grigson – Indy
    28. Bruce Allen – Native Muricans
    27. Rick Smith – Hou
    26. Mike Brown – Cincy
    25. Ruwston Webster – TenTits
    24. Jerry Reese New York football Giants
    23. Ray Farmer – Cleve
    22. Ted Thompson, Green Bay Packers
    21. Dennis Hickey, Miami Dolphins
    20. Doug Whaley, Buffalo Bills
    19. Thomas Dimitroff, Atlanta Falcons
    18. David Caldwell, Jacksonville Jaguars
    17. Mickey Loomis, New Orleans Saints
    16. Ozzie Newsome, Baltimore Ravens
    15. Steve Keim, Arizona Cardinals
    14. Martin Mayhew, Detroit Lions
    13. John Idzik, New York Jets
    12. Howie Roseman, Philadelphia Eagles
    11. John Schneider, Seattle Seahawks
    10. Kevin Colbert, Pittsburgh Steelers
    9. Reggie McKenzie, Oakland Raiders
    8. Jason Licht, Tampa Bay Buccaneers
    7. Tom Telesco, San Diego Chargers
    6. Phil Emery, Chicago Bears
    5. Bill Belichick, New England Patriots
    4. Les Snead, St. Louis Rams
    3. John Elway, Denver Broncos
    2. Trent Baalke, San Francisco 49ers
    1. Rick Spielman, Minnesota Vikings

    • Spitblood says:

      This list is way off. I don’t know what knucklehead put this list together, but it’s moronic.

  3. For teams that may fall to Earth, KC should be considered. I didn’t realize they lost as much as they did. Still and all, I think SD was more of a fluke than KC.

  4. Spitblood says:

    “You’re right forearm looks like Rod Laver’s?” That’s good shit. You need psychological evaluation, but that’s funny….

    Norv Turner sucks as a head coach, even though he made the AFC Championship game with the Chargers, but he’s awesome as an OC. Do I need to remind you about the year Norv was in SF? Who was his qb? Just for clarification, in case you forgot, Norv’s qb was Alex Smith. Smith sucked, big time. Last year Norv’s qb was Jason Campbell and Weeden, but the Browns’ offense was fun. The Browns with Campbell and Weeden?!?!!! Norv has more than proven he can spin qb straw into gold, and I have no doubt in my mind he’ll do the same with Bridgewater, Ponder or Cassell. My bet is he goes with Ponder. But no matter who Norv picks, he’ll score more than you did in high school (I’d write college but they don’t let hillbillies like you from the Ozarks mingle with college women for good reason. Not that they’d sexually assault them because your kind like men, but it’s more because they don’t want them accidentally breeding with women creating more Ozark hillbillies like yourself – no offense).

    Carson Palmer sucks so bad that he’s thrown for over 4,000 yards his last two years – one with the Raiders. Last year he almost threw for 4,300 yards. And you think he sucks? Give him an O line and an offensive minded head coach like Arians and Carson Palmer is damn good. In addition, in case you didn’t know, the Cardinals are also getting their first round North Carolina OG, Jonathan Cooper, back this year who busted his leg in the preseason last year. He’s the next Mike Iupati. Palmer has two or three more years in him. There’s no guarantee Logan Thomas is his descendant. In all likelihood, Thomas won’t be an NFL starter.

    I agree the Chiefs might fall back to earth alongside the Broncos. I think the Chargers and Raiders will ascend. It’s funny but I think McKenzie will successfully build via free agency because he brought in winners. But I think Elway will fail because he brought in free agent losers. Any player from the Dallas Cowboys is a cancer and a loser. Demarcus Ware? Huge mistake.

  5. Irish Kevin says:

    I didn’t see anything on here about Chuck Knoll’s passing…not news worthy?? anyway rest in peace Chuck K.

  6. Ahhh, the only important CK around here is Colin Kaepernick. Or Charlie Kruger even.

    Chuck Knoll? Yeah, he was a great coach who was helped by GM Dan Rooney who got Terry Bradshaw (no-brainer) and Mel Blount. He however, built the rest of that dynasty the next couple of drafts to be one of the greatest coahces of all time.

    They didn’t call him Ground Chuck for nothing, though. Bradshaw would usually throw about 15-20 passes a game. If that.

  7. VD should stop focussing on his ‘brand’ and get back to football. Hold out if you’d like, but suffer the consequences. V McD can pick up some of the slack. Plus, the newly added WRs will gladly take the passes he would have gotten.

    He’s an idiot for even thinking about holding out. By his own words, he signed a front-loaded deal. One that still puts him in the top 3 for his position.

    Yes, VD, you come across as the moneygrubbing guy you profess to not being.

    In the playoffs last year you had a grand total of 5 catches for 54 yards. Time to step it up in the playoffs.

  8. If you knew any better, Spitty, you’d realize that Rod Laver was left-handed. You missed your opening. Wouldn’t want to accuse you of bigamy now. Rosie Rightie is your gal.

    Besides, the only reason I can think of for you to like Palmer is his name.

    Zing!! That’s some good shit there. POTD shit, but I’d never stoop to posting my own gems.

    Anyhoo, yeah, at this point I’d LIKE to see the Raiders gain some relevance. They’ve been doormats for a long time now. On paper they look great. Well, better than last year. I thought they’d tread water at least. But they cratered. They have a lot of new guys to assimilate but Dennis Allen has that deer-in-the-headlights look too often for me.

    In the immortal words of Judy Tenuda, hey, it could happen.

  9. unca_chuck says:

    VD now says he’s going to hold out.

    I’d seriously think about trading him. After this season. He can join Dashon Goldson as the next clown to overvalue himself off the team.

  10. NJ49er says:

    The only reason to consider reworking VDs is Contract is to free up Cap leverage for others.
    Top 3 in the NFL is lofty airspace to begin with.

    I’d be more inclined to secure Boone, who actually deserves to be paid and, to guage the interest of retaining Iupati or Crabtree.

    Davis is worth top 3 money IMO, as he’s a bonafide freak at his position.
    However, he’s not above the team chemistry and should only be taken seriously if he provides options for others.

  11. unca_chuck says:

    With his incentives, he’s already top 3. VD is only hurting himself. Well, and his shareholders when his stock plummets.

    • NJ49er says:

      I love the attitude, and the contradiction, of wanting to win the SB while planning to sit it out.
      Can’t have it both ways Vernon –

      That’s my point, he’s well paid yet feels he deserves more.
      Good luck with that approach Vernon.
      We love your production but, personally, I can’t buy your logic on this one.

      Other guys deserve their just rewards as well.
      1 well paid TE doesn’t negate the needs of others on the roster who deserve it also.

      He’s starting to sound like Mevis The Cap Killer.
      Maybe he feels like Kaep left some coin in the kitty just for him?


  12. If I’m Jed I start thinking trade. Indy lost Dallas Clark. Dallas would love them some VD.

    TB would be perfect though.

  13. Spitblood says:

    I agree with Unca. I’d be thinking trade as well. VD is past his prime, and although Jim’s “team first, blue collar” approach hasn’t gotten much play in the media recently, you don’t put your needs ahead of the team’s. I think the 49ers could get a couple of seconds for Vernon. I doubt it will happen, but that’s the direction I’d head with Vernon. Then I’d move Boldin to TE.

  14. Nipper says:


  15. Bolidin can certainly take the slot routes that VD ran all the time. Stevie Wonder has to step up big time to make this work.

  16. snarkk says:

    VD must be getting bad advice. He’s been considered a good dude around these parts, nothing but good PR and media over the years. Now, he’s flushing it all for some reason. He’ll either return with his tail dragging or get traded to some godforsaken place where nobody gives an S about his paintings. I don’t get it. Maybe this personal stock BS has his head spinning a little, making him do stooopid stuff…

  17. Snarkk, when VD was drafted, he was a major prima donna. Click-clack and all that shit. Very self-centered. He’d get numerous unsportsmanlike conduct penalties for celebrating 12 yard catches and the like. He was infamously late for practice once because he was waiting for his 15′ self portrait painting to be delivered to his house. It took Mike Singletary to bench him and throw him out of a game to get his head wrapped around the team aspect of football.

    Apparently it wore off.

    • NoFear49er says:

      Bullshit! You’ve always had that stick up your ass because the guy got himself a TeeVee ad for Under-Armour. Ridiculous. And Singletary’s benching didn’t change the world for Davis either, although it made good press at the time.

      He’s been a key starter here since he got here, get off his ass. He wants some money, just like everybody else that plays this game at the top.

  18. Waah! Figures you’d be taken in by VD’s style over substance. You were all over Kaepernick when the perception that he would break the bank. Now that he’s taken a team-friendly deal, we get crickets from you. Hmmm. Wonder why? THe answer is he didn’t follow your narrative. Which usually renders you speechless.

    If you don’t think Singletary got through to him, then you have nary a clue. I suppose you loved his celebrating 1st downs with 15 yatd unsportsman penalties and all the myriad stupi shit he used to do. Great player, but he’s an idiot for taking this stance at this point in the team’s development, AND his contract status. Like they say, million dollar body, 10 cent head.

    He doesn’t want to honor his deal? Fine. Go play in Tampa Bay. Make bank and get more paintings of yourself.

  19. Huh. Eric Wright just retired. We hardly knew ye . . .

  20. Yeah, VD has made upwards of $35 mill with the 49ers. Poor guy. Plus he’s got $12 mill still coming to him. I think he pissed all his money away already and is desperate.

    Honor your contract, click clack.

  21. Spitblood says:

    Who care about Boone, VD or Eric Wright? People are reporting Wright is considering retiring which is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. How these jackasses can walk away from a job that at its minimum pays half a million per year — a job, mind you, that you get to joke around constantly with your buddies and slay bitches in the after hours — is so beyond me it’s almost unfathomable. I can understand Glenn Coffee leaving for religious purposes because Jesus doesn’t want you slaying bitches in hotel rooms until the early morning hours. Maybe Wright’s dealing with alcohol-related issues. Maybe Wright wants to be a starter, and not a bench warmer. Maybe Wright’s just not a good fit with the 49ers. Either way, the 49ers own him…. like a slave at auction. If Wright thinks he’s going to go out and find a job that pays him over $100k per year, think again.

    And Boone? Next up! Looney, Marcus Martin? Boone can lose money this year by continuing his holdout… then report for duty week 10, sit on the bench and play somewhere else next year for all I care. Plug in Looney or Martin and don’t look back.

    And VD? I’d be looking to trade VD to a team that needs to sell tickets while also having a good prospect on the bench. Trade VD down river to San Diego where McCoy needs help selling tickets and the Chargers have La Darius Green.

  22. unca_chuck says:

    Yeah, the thing is, at this point these guys are blowing their shot to get the ring. They WILL be replaced. If professional sports has taught us anything,it;s that anyone can be Wally Pipped ay any time.

  23. unca_chuck says:

    Jax or TB would be perfect for VD.

    • Spitblood says:

      The old stick ’em on a stinker, Charles Haley trick? It might work. Jax and TB don’t have Herschel Walker. The league’s learned from the Vikings’ mistake, minus Ditka. Every now and again a team falls in love and trades too much for a player, but nobody’s trading the farm for one cow anymore.

      I think the 49er would then need a developmental TE in the trade – a guy who has shown promise. That’s why I like a trade with the Chargers for Green. VD would be closer to Hollywood, where he’ll certainly flop post NFL career. That guy’s terrible in interviews. I’d rather listen to Joe Frazier.

      To trade VD you’d really need to target a foolish owner who’s desperate to make a splash who would override the GM – Snyder, Jerry Jones are obvious but Snyder just did this with Jackson. The Vikings might work. Kyle Rudolf would be a good trade for us. He’s a white TE which means he’d know his assignments and catch the ball but wouldn’t out-run his African contemporaries (Del made me write that). Detriot’s GM is getting desperate for wins to keep his job. And Martin Mayhew is a little insane. The Lions have a few good TEs there, but none as good as VD. You give the Lions’ Mega Bush VD and Kid Rock will have the antidote.

      • rtfirefly says:

        Don’t forget Golden Tate. The Lions passing game is looooaded, and I never put Stafford in the choker Romo category.
        But it’s the real huge improvement of them that prompted me to pick the big underdog Lions over The Pack in the NFC North.
        The huge improvement? Schwantz is gone.

  24. NJ49er says:

    Trades are based on compensation. Plain and simple.
    Idiots like Snyder and Jerruh are Cap strapped for the most part so, paying for Vernon likely wouldn’t work.

    You need a Cap-rich team that stinks.
    Better Picks are the name of the game when doing deals.
    Teams right now with the most Cap space are –
    Jax – $28M+
    Cleveland – $24.9M
    Cincy – $24.2M
    NYJ – $21.9M

    Get someone to eat the Cap hit for you and, take his remaining money off your hands then, hope they stink long enough, to make the Picks more valuable.

    • NJ49er says:

      Another rule to apply to a Trade –
      Send him somewhere where he’s unlikely to hurt you.

      I’d go AFC.
      Top 4 teams with money (above) would work for me.

      • NJ49er says:

        Cleveland has an extra 1 from Buffalo next year too.

        Hello Cleveland?
        Want a Pro Bowl TE?

    • NJ49er says:

      We have to pay for Stevie next year too.
      A 4th to Buffalo that could escalate to a 3.

      Vernon could easily net a 1 and an additional 3rd RD Pick either next year or 2016.

      We’ll see what develops.
      I seriously don’t think they’ll renegotiate with him.

  25. Spitblood says:

    Owners have proven time and time again that if they really want something they can make it happen provided they aren’t in salary cap hell. Obviously it’s easier to pull the trigger when your books are in great shape but what you’re looking for is a team with an owner who really wants to make a push to take it to the next level in 2014. Snyder just shot his load with Jackson. Maybe the Jacksonville owner and GM could be persuaded that Blake needs some help, but there’s no guarantee Blake starts week one. I’d start Henne. Who the hell are either of them going to throw to? Blackmon is suspended every other week. MJD’s in Oakland. Mercedes Lewis is older than Moses. The same case could be made for the Jets with Mike Vick. Who’s he going to throw to? Hill? Holmes? They do have a decent TE in Cumberland and I don’t know if Kellen is still there, but either way, out of all the teams you listed, NJ, Jacksonville, in my mind, is the best fit. I still like SD and Minnesota the best, though.

    • NJ49er says:

      Any one of them would work Spit.
      Caldwell in Jax is connected to SF through Roman I think?
      College room mates as it were.

      We got a deal done with them for Gabbert too so, we know the door is open to talk.

      2 things happen for us if Vernon insists on holding out.
      You look to move his Contract elsewhere of course and –
      You take those potential Cap savings and keep someone else happy. (Iupati/Boone/Crabtree/Aldon)

      I’d go with any of those Top 4 AFC Teams with the Cap space to help us.
      Think Rex wouldn’t love to have Vernon to offset Gronk in NE?

      Manziel to Vernon?
      Geno to Vernon?
      Vernon in the Big Apple?
      Any, and all, of these guys would make sense, with the right compensation package to SF.

    • NJ49er says:

      Also, remember that Jerruh has to deal with Dez as a FA next year too.

      Knowing Jerruh as we do, he’ll consider Dez a jewel of his own making.
      So, he’ll likely overpay Dez before he buys another FA IMO.

      But, as you suggest, guys like Jerruh are all about splash moves.
      He always thinks he’s 1 big deal away from hitting it big.

      His problem is, he constantly overpays and, Cap straps himself everytime he makes said splash moves.

  26. NJ49er says:

    Maiocco spells it out pretty succinctly –

    TE Vernon Davis: He said he planned to attend the mandatory camp. Then, he suggested he is “holding out.” It’s difficult to follow the logic that’s keeping Davis away from the 49ers this offseason.

    Does he want to get paid like a wide receiver? Let’s examine that . . .

    Davis has 93 catches for 1,398 yards and 18 touchdowns over the past two seasons. He is 30 years old. Wide receiver Eric Decker, 27, had 172 receptions for 2,352 yards and 24 TDs over that same period with the Denver Broncos.

    Decker just signed a five-year deal with the New York Jets this offseason that averages $7.25 million. Davis’ deal, which he signed in 2010, averages $7.35 million per season. Moreover, Davis and Decker are represented by the same agent, Todd France.

    • NJ49er says:

      Let’s see if the Agent, Todd France can be connected to the NYJ?

      • NJ49er says:

        Decker and Davis?
        Davis and Decker?
        Finkle and Einhorn?
        Einhorn and Finkle?

        NYJ and Miami Dolphins
        AFC East?

        Interesting…….Laces out Dan.

  27. NJ49er says:

    If Vernon wants his brand to sell, let’s go Rockafeller Skank –
    Where do you want to go Vernon?
    We can make a deal –

    Right about Now – Funk Soul Brother…….

  28. Nipper says:

    Gee Harbaugh is disappointed. Sniff…..

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