From IrishKevin. It’s from week 5 of the season, but it’s funny as hell . . .
Well, here we are in weekend two-o of the playoffs. Most everyone went with the home teams last week, and were rewarded with 3-1 records.The big boys are coming to the plate, so this should be a very interesting set of games. I haven’t really thought about any of these games short of the Niners/Packers, and to say that I’d be surprised to see Atlanta win, but . . .
Seattle wins a closer-than-expected battle 24-20.
The AFC has the oh-so-close-but-not-quite Baltimore Ravens vs the Manning-led (not a dry seat in Dennis’ house) Denver Broncos. Normally I’d think that Baltimore’s defense would win the day, but Manning has been on fire since October. After starting 2-3, Denver has won 11 in a row, including a 34-17 crushing of those same Ravens. They look pretty strong, but can they take the Ravens now that crappy dancer is back? Looks to be a tough game, but Balt isn’t young anymore, and Flacco is, well, Flacco. Never consistent enough. Denver’s defense is better than Balt’s offense, so they go nowhere. Give this one to the Broncos, 28-10.
New England and the Houstons? Houston is a smoke-and-mirrors team. They played an easy schedule, and the tough teams they played: NE, Indy, GB, and Minn, they lost. They did beat Cincy, but shouldn’t have. Ponder missed on too many wide open opportunities, and couldn’t cash in to AJ Green despite many chances. New England wins big. 38-13.
To recap:
SF 34 – GB 17
Sea 24 – Atl 20
Den 28 – Balt 10
NE 38 – Hou 13
Forty Niners Forever 
Tix aren’t too too high for fair to middling seats.
And Flav, I’ve hated Denver since Elway weenied himself out of Baltimore and went to Denver.
Chuck – Me too. Being a Stanford fan I always thought Elway was a Hot dog. He would pad his stats and the Cardinal/Tree/ Indians would lose the game. I wished Balt. wouldn’t have crumbled.
If Elway stayed with the Colts their Quarterback Legacy would be unreal.
Their Quarterbacks would be Unitas > Bert Jones > Elway > P. Manning > Luck.
No chance for Jack Trudeau Mike Pagel, Jeff George and Jim Harbaugh then.
36 hours to kickoff and the peerless pigskin prognosticators wait with bated breath (or in the case of Flavor- with a massive pole, lol) to see who will be da resident geniuses this week. Also waiting to hear from Del Mar, Nipper, 12th Man, Alleykat, Shaman, Irish Kevin, Z, V, TD Tommy and any others who might wander in. Chico? Berger?
We heard from Nate Silver, the guy who predicted Obama over Romney which was against most predictions at the time, says Pats-Squawks in the SB…
DEN over BAL, 27-16
SF over GB, 38-34
NE over HOU, 45-24
SEA over ATL, 33-24
As the week progresses, the pick I’m the least unsure of is the SF/GB game. It IS hard to step out of being a fan. Others (non SF fans) I’ve run into have serious doubts about SFs chances this weekend. Meh.
Least SURE, that is…
Well, Herm Edwards is picking the Niners. Not sure of the rest of the wonks at ESPN. Or anywhere else for that matter. CBS has a new sports channel on cable, (Monday morning QBs, with Rich Gannon, Steve Buerline, and a couple other guys who I can’t remember) and they all picked GB.
That’s the fun of being a fan. For the most part I pick the Niners to win, but I didn’t think they’d beat NE on the road. I was unsure at the beginning of the year about the GB gme, but I did pick them to win that.
Niner will send Green Bay Packing 31-27
NE over Hou
Atl over Squawks
Bal over Den
Barley –
Why try to step out of being a fan? For the objectivity? So you’d rather, for the sake of objectivity, not be a 49er fan while you’re picking your Super Bowl or divisional round picks? I gasp at the horror. Do you desire objectivity and subsequent credibility so in the future, when Fangio goes soft for a spell and doesn’t bring the blitz, you can say with all your insightful wisdom, “Yeah, that stretch of the game stunk,” …..you think our ears will all perk up — our eyes bulging out at the sage-like type on our screens — and think, “Well, because Barley exercised objectivity and didn’t pick the 49ers under this new Harbaugh regime to dominate all comers in the 2012 playoffs, Fangio must have gone soft? I’ll tell you who’s going soft around here. I tell you, brother. It’s you. The San Francisco 49ers are the greatest team to ever…. EVER play the game and it’s people like you (chinks in the armor so to speak) who bring this glorious franchise to their knees with their negativity and their own private hopes for credibility. If you’re a fan, brother, you’re a fan: cloaked in your own emotional bias for the world to see, deal with and begrudgingly appreciate. Fans are “fanatics.” I think your desire for objectivity is a hopeful attempt at finding credibility, but ironically, on this day, you’ve lost all …. every possible morsel of credibility because if there’s an exact time when your bias should roar it’s right now. Unleash the beast, Barley. Let the badge roam. The San Francisco 49ers are going to dominate – ABSO-FUCKIN’-LUTELY dominate the Green Bay Packers tomorrow evening. It goes back to the days of Lombardi and Walsh when the coached against each other as the Germans bombed Pearl Harbaugh. Then it moved from Lombardi and Walsh to Holmgren against Seifert and Mooch. This is a dire time in 49er history, something you’re apart of brother. You don’t abandon your team now hoping for objectivity. What kind of a fan are you? This is history…. it’s legacy… it’s life…. the very life you breathe in and out all day long with plumes of red and gold lacing your breath. What would life be without the 49ers? Where would we all be? I gasp. I can’t imagine to the horrors we’d all become without the purpose of loving our beloved San Francisco 49ers. I cannot, I will not, allow you or anyone else to jeopardize the mojo, the legacy or the spirit that is right now forming, growing all over Northern California with your talk of objectivity. Who are you to jeopardize such a thing? Our founding fathers brought forth this great football team with the hopes of domination. I will not allow you to desecrate that hope with your own selfish desire to appear credible. I will banish you from this like blog (like I did Twinfan), if you don’t now swear total and utter allegiance to our team…. our livelihood….. our passion by digging deep and recognizing what you truly know deep in your heart – that the 49ers aren’t just going to win tomorrow night, but it will be our finest hour. You cannot continue to reject the blood. Say it with me: “I’m a sinner. I’ve abandoned my boy.” With this simple act of penance, your sins will be washed clean and you’ll once again be deemed worthy to blog here under the supreme privilege of being called a fan of the great team in the nation – The San Francisco 49ers.
“Let the badger roam.”
Oh, Lord, please make him stop. The seintement is fine, but why use 2 sentences when you can use 100,000 words?
Shit, even Nate fricking Silver likes the Niners chances to reach the Super Bowl, but he predicts Seattle/NE.
And you didn’t run TF out of here, Spitty. Not sure why RTF split, though.
Oh, the joy of running a blog.
Spit, this is a blogg, not a place to start novels. I need you to write the Readers Digest version first. then you can post the novel. Anyway, have you all seen the pic over on SFgate of JSmith and his brace. Looks like what Barry Bonds use to wear in the batters box.
Denver 35 – Balt 17
NE 28 – Houston 13
Niners 17 – GB 13
Atlanta 21 – Seachickens 17
Kevin, i added that shit you sent me to the top of this thread. Funny stuff!
I could totally see that as reality. hear those guys talking crap about each other!!
9ers over the Cheesewads, 35-28
As much as I want to see Baltimore beat the Denver Delmars, it’s not happening–Donkeys over Ravens 28-14
Seattle will beat the Atlanta one-and-doners, 30-17
And I’m calling the Texans to stun the universe with a big upset over the Boston Cheaters–HOU over the Bradys 31-21. I’m probably going to be wrong on this one but for some reason I just have a hunch Houston will pull this one off.
Denver Delmars? Not too shabby. Sometime during the 3rd quarter of the Ravens/Delmars game, they’ll be running the Grade II San Fernando Stks. down at Santa Anita. The #4 horse? MILE HIGH MAGIC. 8/1 on the ML for Bob Baffert. Coincidence or fate? I’ll know the answer around 3:40 PST.
You guys wanna know the secret to winning? Simple. You devise a great game plan and then go execute it. Me? I mapped it out that a fresh supply of Vicodin would be available today for me to p/u at the pharmacy in time for tomorrow night’s game. Now I just have to make it up to the pharmacy without bumbling, stumbling or fumbling.
Devising a play to p/u pills at the pharmacy. I guess you could say it was “scripted.”
Uh, yeah.
Well, I tried to read it all but my eyes kind of glossed over and I started to fall asleep. Buck up big boy, I’m still predicting victory. It’s the playoffs, it is impossible for me to predict a Niner loss. But I feel nervous. So shoot me. But as a matter of consistency, I’ve felt nervous before every single freaking playoff game dating back to 1982’s divisional playoff game against NYG. The 3 straight losses in the early 70’s I remember vividly the feeling AFTER each loss. Despondency. Before the loss? Nervous? I was 11 years old. I caught frogs, played baseball, and watched the Niners. Nervous didn’t enter into it.
I also went on my 8 mile run this morning, wearing one of my Niner shirts. I changed the laces on my shoes to red, so the shoes are now red and yellow. Close enough to gold. Tomorrow I’ll bust out my other lucky garments (some of which I can’t mention or I might have to kill you). That’s all I can do. That and appreciate the joy tomorrow of my BP sky rocketing as I pace the room and down tequila. Playoff fever! Catch it! Delanie’s wide open! Catch it!
Rally thong time!
I went on an 8 mile run 25 years ago and I still haven’t finished.
Might have to break out my Forty Fucking Niners shirt. It’s an XL, but it has shrunk to tiny, and you can read the paper through it . . .
Sounds like a case of significant shrinkage, and you didn’t even just come from out of the pool. That’s rough. Good luck to you and your frightened turtle.
Shrunk like a tree trunk, skippy. I get more action in a week than you have these 3 odd years I’ve known you . . .
3 odd years? it’s at least 5. You won your Alex jersey courtesy of your Kentwan Balmer pick, and that was back in 2008. And we’d both been on the Insider for awhile before that Kevin Lynch draft pick contest. I’m surprised I’m still holding onto the floor after all those years…
Good article from the NYT chronicling Harbaugh’s and Kap’s personality. Jimbo has Kap programmed like Gort the robot. “Klaatu barada nikto.”
http://tinyurl.com/any4a9q
Jesus, time does fly doesn’t it. I was even stupid enough to think the Balmer pick wasn’t so bad at the time. What a numbskull.
Criminy, when did I start posting on Red and Gold in the Chron? Has it really been 6 years?
Here’s ESPN’s “expert” picks. Split down the middle — 7 for SF, 7 for GB. That includes some guy named “accuscore” and sportsnation, whatever the fuck that is.
http://espn.go.com/nfl/picks/_/week/2
Experts are worthless.
If he were the architect, Rome would have been built in a day.
No need to get me any goddamn ice, Nip. I have ice, vodka and Vicodin. Trifecta!
Anyone in BLEEP mood? I’m feeling the cold but it’s winter so no complaints. Criminy, six years? Chuck is a vet!
Nip you down with Denver and New England?
Denver and New England should win their games. Both have passing attacks that out duel their opposition.