Preseason Prognostication

Hey, why the hell not? Youse guys already got it started anyway. And, I missed this by a day becuase of Wednesday night football? WTF?

Who do you think wins this all? Takes the divisions? All that fun. The cream of the NFL crop seems to be shifting some, with the grudging addition of the 49ers to the so-called elite teams. The Steelers seem to be fading into mediocrity due to age and attrition. The Jets, (pretenders anyway) are sinking into the morass of their outspoken coach, moronic owner, diminishing talent, and the unholy spector of Timmy Tebow in their not-too-distant future. The Pats were on shakey ground, but they seem to be righting themselves, even after the near-miss hail Mary pass that ended Super Bowl XLVLXLVII. Perennial doormat Deetroit is trying to force its way into national prominence, but in a situation similar to the Niners, are getting little to no love from the national media. Frankly the defending champ Giants have been off the map due to Rex Ryan shooting his mouth off at any moment, and Timmy (I love me some me) Tebow hogging the headlines. Funny, but I think NY struggles mightily. Granted, we got a good look at their matador defense yesterday (ole!) last night, so the NY press should be calling for Coughlin’s head by October.

Be that as it may, divisions like the AFC West, the AFC North, and NFC East and NFC South have no clear cut winners, and either all the teams are good, or all the teams are questionable. Even the dogmeat NFC West has 3 teams with exceptional defenses that no team really wants to come up against.

So, here’s my call:

AFC East: Pats (duh)
AFC North: Ravens
AFC South: Texans
AFC West: Raydurrrs
Wildcard: Chefs, Bengals

NFC East: Iggles
NFC North: Vikings (kidding, Packers)
NFC South: Falcons
NFC West: Niners
Wildcard: Giants, da Bearsss

The playoffs? Well, let’s predict those when we get there.


About unca_chuck

Lifelong SF 49ers and SF Giants fan
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99 Responses to Preseason Prognostication

  1. unca_chuck says:

    Other predictions (to refesh your memories):

    Del Mar Dennis says:

    AFC East Patriots
    AFC North Steelers
    AFC South Texans
    AFC West Chargers
    Wild Cards Broncos and Ravens

    NFC East Eagles
    NFC North Packers
    NFC South Falcons
    NFC West Seahawks
    Wild Cards Cowboys and Lions

    Super Bowl XLVII Patriots vs Packers
    Super Bowl Champs Patriots

    rtfirefly says:
    Okey doke, I’ll bite:
    Pats, Ravens, Texans, Broncos (same ol’, same ol’)
    WC-Steelers, Tebow
    Giants, Saints, Packers, Niners (not very creative, am I?)
    WC-Bears, Falcons

    What do the rest of you guys think?

  2. unca_chuck says:

    Looking at the last thread, Dennis is in full come-on-my-face mode where it comes to Tony Romo.

    Funny thing is, Mr. September has the same amount of playoff wins as young Sir Alex Smith

    Hmmmmmmmmmmm. Plenty of time for a reach-around, Dennis.

  3. rtfirefly says:

    You mean the same amount as Tim Tebow.

    No Steelers, Chuck? No way the Bungles will beat them out.

  4. 12th man says:

    E. Pats
    N. Ravens
    S. Texans
    W. Broncos
    WC Steelers and Chargers

    E. Eagles
    N. Pack
    S. Panthers
    W. Niners
    WC Cowboys and Lions

    SB Niners over Ravens

  5. twinfan1 says:

    I’ll think about the other divisions later. Niners will win the West, last year I called 10-6- I think 11-5 sounds right this year.There’s absolutely no reason at all to think Smith will be anything but better with his best weapons ever and another year in Harbaugfh’s system. If there’s a concern for me, it’s the unfortunate trend that Fangio’s defenses seem to decline every year everywhere he’s been.

  6. 12th man says:

    One thing that is kind of unique is that a very successful team (niners) was able to return all its coaches and all its defensive personnel. Usually success translates to bigger contracts or bigger and better opportunities elsewhere but not in this case.

  7. unca_chuck says:

    Statistically, Twin’s right, though. The problem is, there’s no way on God’s green earth that they can create 38 turnovers again. That’s such a high number, and teams that have that kind of success rarely repeat it.

    Which means the offense has to pick up the slack of not being +28 in give/take. If the Niners can stay around +15, that should be enough.

  8. 12th man says:

    We had kind of a “perfect storm” last year with health, turnovers +38, record setting kicking game, just about impossible to repeat it in those ways. To offset a presumed lower statistical year we have the entire staff (almost) and all the D players returning intact, a second year for Alex in the same system, improved skill players on the O, and greater solid depth across the board and at QB a back-up far more ready to step in if needed than last year. The 64 thousand dollar question is will it be enough. I believe it will be.

  9. shaman138 says:

    Whaaaaaaaaat?? Chuck picks the Raiders to win the division? Go Chuck!

    Niner take their divsion, obviously. The SB champs must’ve have hired Chuck Brenshahan on the sly or something because their D looked awful against the Cowbutts last night. Two teams in the NFC to watch out for are Detroit and Carolina. I don’t think the Donkos are going to be as good as people think with Manning. The goddmaned Pats look like their back and may go all the way this year–Ravens are still potent but their window is closing. The Squeelers are irrelevant and the Cowfucks have a tough schedule coming up early so the Iggles could win that division

    • Grumpy Guy says:

      The Raiders only win that division if Carson Palmer finally makes the trade worthwhile. I am very skeptical. The Chargers and Broncos may still suck but the Raiders have not yet proven they suck any less. They *should* be better than last year. Should.

  10. unca_chuck says:

    Yeah, 8-8 may be a dream too far for any of those teams, but the Raydurrrs did sweep their division last year. Palmer should be a little better.

  11. unca_chuck says:

    Oh, yeah. I thought they swept. Was that 2010? Shit, I don’t know. OK, they were 3-3 last year in their division. 2010 they swept. To becoms the only team in hsstory to sweep their division games and miss the playoffs.

    Fuck ’em. They can still win the AFC Worst.

  12. Del Mar Dennis says:

    Alex Smith will win the MVP Award this year before the Raiders win the AFC West.
    That’s one of your most asinine predictions yet. And that’s saying something. As they say on ESPN First Take, “That’s not only asinine, it’s asi-ten, asi-eleven and asi-twelve!”

  13. Del Mar Dennis says:

    “Looking at the last thread, Dennis is in full come-on-my-face mode where it comes to Tony Romo.”

    Tony shot his load last night alright. Romo loaded up my Yahoo! FF team with exactly 38.48 pts. Come on (that) Eileen.

    • unca_chuck says:

      Quite possibly the worst song and video in the history of songs and videos.

      Although this one is a close 2nd:

      • unca_chuck says:

        The extended version, no less . . .

      • Del Mar Dennis says:

        The “Safety Dance” is 100x worse than Eileen. Shit. You’d have to be on acid to attend their Renaissance Fair. But I think that’s SOP when attending any and all Renaissance Fairs…I have a confession. I actually saw Dexys Midnight Runners and some other shit band like Kajagoogoo circa ’83 or ’84 in concert at the Concord Pavilion. The girlfriend made me go. That was three of the worst grueling hours of my entire life.

    • rtfirefly says:

      I guess you had be in Berkeley at the time. An all-time great protest song.
      My girlfriends loved it. Thus, so did I.

  14. winder says:

    I have no Idea how good we will be this yr. We never saw Manningham or Moss for that matter. I know coach has some trick plays for our rd2 rb. I do know we will have to score more points this year since it will be hard to match our turnover differential. I would really like to see Alex perfect the swing pass since it was always one of our most dangerous weapons. I think we will give GB’s defense fits this week. I haven’t really paid that much attention to other teams to pick em yet. I do think we take our division.

  15. unca_chuck says:

    I have nightmares of the way Singletary used Brian Westbrook dancing in my head.

    It can’t be like that, can it?

  16. rtfirefly says:

    Singletary used Brian Westbrook?

    I give Sing a pass on this one. I think Westbrook’s concussions late in the year before finished his career.
    Baalke got him, and Sing refused to play him, seeing the brain damaged concussed great player unable to perform at his former Pro Bowl level.
    I was jazzed when the Niners got him, the most pissed on here when Sing didn’t play him, but think I understand why. We just don’t know what goes on in the locker room or the doctors’ offices, and I think Westbrook’s injuries were worse than reported locally.
    I wanted that change of pace, Darren Sproles quick. Even Darren Sproles, who I begged the Niners to get in FA and would still be a fabulous addition to Harbaugh’s power running game.

    Has the season started yet? Am I ready? You betcha.

    • Del Mar Dennis says:

      The fantasy football season sure has started. Just in case you were too afraid to check the early score: Mannings 51 Coyotes 4. You can blame the lopsidedness on that QB from Dallas.

      How bout dat Cowboy!

  17. phil fan says:

    I’m gonna leave the big picture division winnahs to you peerless pigskin prognosticators and settle for the weekly scoring calls for one team =Our Niners. So far we got:

    Phil: 27-24 Niners “Cowboy gonna eat the OL tackle fer lunch”
    Del Mar: 34-20 GB “In favor of the team with the better QB.”
    12th man: 23-12 Niners “Field goals count too! 2 tds + 3 fgs”

    • Del Mar Dennis says:

      Hey, Phil. “In favor of the team with the better QB.” You can just use that same quote week after week when I make my selections. Looks like I’ll be picking the 49ers’ opponents every week this year. Maybe If the Niners add De La Salle High School on the schedule I’ll call the QB matchup a coin flip. Maybe.

      • phil fan says:

        Well Del just remember how consistently wrong you were last year with those calls. You went a LOOOOOG time after the Niners lost to da Cows and before you got the weekly call right. This is a new, tougher year but we’ll see, huh?

    • 12th man says:

      Phil, if the score ends up how I said I want extra credit for breaking it down, you and Del only did half the job.

    • phil fan says:

      23-21 is 12th man’s actual call. Not 23-12 tho that would be nice….I could hear Dennis screaming from here. Love that sound in da morning…

    • phil fan says:

      Twin’s on board with a 30-24 call for our guys.

      I’ll consolidate this tomorrow and move it to a new thread if we get one.

  18. Grumpy Guy says:

    Remember, Brian Westbrook did not know the playbook.

    All two plays. Run up the middle twice, and throw a hopeless 20-yard pass on third down.

    • Del Mar Dennis says:

      Yeah, that was the biggest crock of shit I ever heard. They said he needed more time to p/u the blitz schemes and what not. Bullshit! Andy Reid called Westbrook one of the most intelligent players he ever coached. I was so excited when we first signed him. I was thinking about all of the possibilities with him and Gore in the same backfield. Our coaches couldn’t even figure out how to suit ’em up the same Sunday. Fucking mooks.

    • 12th man says:

      Didn’t know the playbook, more like playpage. How could he not know when the gatorade kid knew what was being called.

  19. phil fan says:

    Chuck’s on a roll with the Tebow rants! I’m not biting tho…

    • 12th man says:

      Phil, you’re a Tebow disciple??? really???

      • phil fan says:

        Just for fun Man. He’s from my neck of the woods, town I used to live in, suburb of Manila = Makati. So I root for the hometown kid. He proved a few of his critics wrong last year and that was cool. He’s a better leader of men than a football player but it takes leadership to win on the gridiron too.

    • 12th man says:

      I didn’t know he was a Pinoy? Tebow is a good kid, great athlete, a strong leader he just hasn’t learned to throw an accurate ball in the NFL yet and I doubt he ever will. He is a do or die man, last minute heroics, but that is the stuff of comic books not week in week out QB play. I don’t bear him any ill will, just sick of hearing about a non factor QB.

      • phil fan says:

        His parents are/were American missionaries who lived over here, raised their kids here. He still comes back here during the off season. Land of his (and my) birth.

        For some reason TT is very popular and gets a lot of press. His popularity exceeds his football skills which ticks some people off. Like Chuck yuck yuck…

      • rtfirefly says:

        Funny. Sounds like a guy named Steve Young. Tebow is entering year 3. Where was Young then?

      • rtfirefly says:

        I meant to add: The Broncos hadn’t won a playoff game in 6 years. They aren’t the Bengals; they aren’t the Chargers; they’ve been in 5 Super Bowls (mostly losing, the ’94 season drubbing by the Niners the best).
        Tebow as the starting QB for the Broncs helped beat the defending AFC Champion Pittsburgh Steelers in Tebow’s first NFL playoff game in his first season as a full-time starter.
        As I called it in advance.
        Calling him a “non-factor” is “non-sense”.

      • phil fan says:

        And where is Chuck? Expect he’ll toss a coupla cans of gas on the fire, haha

      • 12th man says:

        so you a military brat phil? ignore me if that presumptuous of me.

      • 12th man says:

        Chargers in 94 rt

      • 12th man says:

        Tebow is at best an option QB RT, you may believe he has potential but being the cardiac kids can’t last. the league is built on moving the chains down after down. Amazing feats of daring do make headlines not champions.

      • rtfirefly says:

        ’89 12th man. The ‘Fins romp, the Bronco castration. Yes, I forget and tend to mix them together. 55-10. The year I sat on gift seats on the 50 next to the Vice-Mayor of Tiburon (I didn’t even know Tiburon had a Vice-Mayor) that turned the season around.
        John Taylor’s two 90+ yard TD kick returns.
        Yes, sometimes defense and special teams even helps a QB like Joe Montana.

  20. rtfirefly says:

    Dennis, who is that QB the UFO Coyotes will feature Sunday? Hmmm. I believe his initials are the same as mine, P.M.
    Darren Sproles will be playing, too.
    Jason Pierre-Paul was being held and face-masked but those 7th grade geography teachers couldn’t see it to call it. Wait till the bankers come back.

    • Del Mar Dennis says:

      I know you’re loaded for bear with Manning. And RG III is a total wild card. He could light up the tote board or lay a goose egg. I didn’t take Manning in either of our leagues. I figured I had to continue with the suffering. He didn’t sign here for real, he can’t play on my fantasy team as well.

      But I still have two big bullets left to fire myself with Rodgers and Rivers. And when you add my pal Romo, that makes three R’s. It’s like grade school and the old reading, riting (sic) and rithmetic (sic).

      I’m all about the three R’s…Rodgers, Romo and Rivers in Yahoo! this year. And I have Ryan and Rodgers in ESPN. That makes four R’s. Nothing but R’s this year. That should make for some great storytelling next time at Rehab.

      • 12th man says:

        Not a fan of Cam Del?

      • Del Mar Dennis says:

        Fantasy-wise I think Newton makes for a pretty damn good option at QB. His running skills make him a big threat. He had a ridiculous number of rushing TDs last year (14). That won’t happen again, but he’ll continue to rush for more than most.

        But as a pure starting QB in the NFL? Not my style. I prefer the Brady’s, Bree’s and Manning’s who stand in the pocket and dissect the defense like a surgeon all the while marching their teams down the turf like a general al a George Patton or a Field Marshal like Rommel. I appreciate strategy and the QBs that execute it like a chess match.

      • 12th man says:

        Not many pure passers left these days, the trend is towards hybrid guys it seems, like Kap and Cam and what I expect to see from RG3. There are exceptions like Luck but even he is more athletic than a manning for instance.

        I expect Cam to settle down a bit his sophomore year and not rely so much on his physical gifts. He has a year under his belt and a training camp too.

  21. rtfirefly says:

    Rodgers’s not a bullet, he’s a freakin’ cannon. Rivers is another choke artist, worse than Tony in the clutch. RG III is the mystery man. Will he be My Guy Nate or Cam Newton as a rook?

    Defense, special teams, and ball control running game. I don’t think it will be enough against a great team like the Pack at Lambeau. But it might, if Alex can hold onto the ball . Akers was Dennis’ miracle pick last year.
    The Pack doesn’t like strong pressure defenses. Keep it in the trenches and let Patrick rule.

    • Del Mar Dennis says:

      Thanks for remembering that. I was sick and tired of Nedney and his “calcified mass.” Joe did a great job here, but his injuries made him a liability. When the Eagles drafted Alex Henery (who Berger and I watched at Neb. and wanted the Niners to draft him) I knew Akers was going to be available. I screamed from the mountain tops to sign Akers. Most laughed at me for being so adamant and vociferous about wanting to sign a kicker.

      Who was our MVP last year? Thank you.

  22. phil fan says:

    Akers gonna be the difference in our 27-24 win at Cheesehead stadium. Weather’s gonna be warmer there than at the Stick this Sunday. Perfect kicking weather. The better TEAM is gonna win but don’t tell Del Mar, he’s not listening…yet

    • Del Mar Dennis says:

      Phil, I always listen. That’s not the problem. It’s believing were we part ways. The Packers are the better team. And it has everything to do with who’s behind center.

      • 12th man says:

        Better QB yes but better team?

      • phil fan says:

        We’ll see. It’s going to be a good game. Our DL is a lot better and if we can pressure Mr Rodgers like NY did last year we got a good chance. We need to beat them in GB and the league has given us what, 4 recent chances out there to do so. I don’t get it

  23. rtfirefly says:

    Hey Crabby? Didn’t your Dad go to the Hall of Fame and announce games at Lambeau?

    What do you think?

    • twinfan1 says:

      Yes on the first question.
      On the second, I want to say we’ll win but I don’t think we can win based on last year’s formula.I think they’ll need to throw a lot. Could be wrong and if I am Denny will remind me often- so what the heck- 30-24 49ers..

      • rtfirefly says:

        My apologies, Crabby. I thought your Dad did football at times, in addition to his Hall of Fame baseball broadcasting career, and was lucky enough to call a little at Lambeau. What’s Lambeau like, for those of us who can only see it on TV, what’s it like?

      • Grumpy Guy says:

        The Packers are an excellent team, and playing at home. They *should* be favored to win. It’s one measure of the progress this 49er team has made in the last year that we can even entertain the idea of a possible upset.

        My take: don’t get behind early, and need to play catch-up. That’s not our game. We need to keep it tight, hit Rodgers early and often, and score some points. Won’t be easy, but it should be an interesting game.

      • 12th man says:

        They are favored with the bookie and the press Grump, but screw em.

      • twinfan1 says:

        I’m not following what you are apolgizing for, I think I wasn’t clear- it’s yes to the first two questions. I was counting “What do you think” as the 2nd question. He isn’t .in the broadcaster’s wing of the baseball, HOF- he’s in that wing of the NFL HOF.We never lived in Green Bay and I was actually a Viiking fan, which almost got me tossed from the Packer sideline for cheering a Viking TD rather demonstrably. I never attended a game at Lambeau, BTW. I did work in the booth with my Dad for many games, however.

    • rtfirefly says:

      Four Super Bowls (when they weren’t at first called Super Bowls) and nine (9!) title games back when Al Davis wasn’t even a phantom under Pete Rozelle’s bed at night.
      Quite a legacy.
      I knew you must’ve been hiding in the booth somewhere.

  24. phil fan says:

    12th man asked “so you a military brat phil? ignore me if that presumptuous of me.”

    Not at all Man. Actually my Dad was with Del Monte pineapple out of Hawaii; came out here after WWII to put the plantation and cannery back together after 4 years of
    Japanese occupation and neglect. He was deferred from serving as a farm type due to armed forces needing to eat!

  25. unca_chuck says:

    I’m saying 28-20 Niners. I’ve already laid out the plan of attack and it isn’t last year’s model. Take advantage of their young D and lousy corners to build a lead, and then get after Rodgers.

    This game is winnable, but should they lose, I sure hope they don’t do it by playing it conservative.

  26. phil fan says:

    Apropos of nothing except to get a free shot at Dennis I repeat: If 12th man’s prediction of a 23-21 Niner’s win- never-mind my erroneous reported 23-12 call- comes true I’m going to be able to hear Dennis’s screaming all the way over here. Right Denny? I love that sound early in the morning…

  27. unca_chuck says:

    Not Tebow again! The problem with Tebow is he’s on a crappy team now, and he will make little difference to their success or failure.

    Sanchez is already hearing footsteps and he hasn’t played a down this year. Whoever is behind center is playing with a cast and crew of idiots.

    • phil fan says:

      Yeah Jets are a mess. Worse D than the Bronks then?

      • rtfirefly says:

        Phil, it’s a book geared for high school coaches and kids who want to be a QB someday.

        Not worth the money except for those lucky few like me who can read the actual quotes (not the ghost written crap) and picture Joe saying that (the guy used to party with Dwight back in my area in Los Gatos after ’81 – before Jennifer kicked his butt).

        Heineken is great. Long live the Dutch!

    • rtfirefly says:

      Jim Plunkett from my home town threw 5 interceptions filling in for Dan Pastorini (Santa Clara) in his first game starting in 1980 before winning the Super Bowl MVP award in the first of his TWO Super Bowl Championship starting roles.
      He was a leader. Knees and confidence ruined by the Boston Patriots and the Niners.

      So was Tebow a leader last year, to a much lesser degree. So might Tebow be in the next 3-4 yrs. Maybe not, he’s no Joe Montana and New York has eaten better men than him.

      Read Joe Montana’s ghost written book again, “The Art and Magic of Quarterbacking”, and read about the leadership part.

    • phil fan says:

      The Onion strikes again: picture + headline worth a thousand woids? Check it:

      Dickhead In Sanchez Jersey Turns Out To Be Mark Sanchez,29389/

      Tebow, he’s everywhere…

  28. phil fan says:

    Our peerless pigskin prognosticators weekly scoring calls for one team = Our Niners. So far we got:

    Chuck: 28-20 Niners “Take advantage of their young D and lousy corners to build a lead, and then get after Rodgers”.
    Phil: 27-24 Niners “Cowboy gonna eat the OL tackle fer lunch”
    Del Mar: 34-20 GB “In favor of the team with the better QB.”
    12th man: 23-12 Niners “Field goals count too! 2 tds + 3 fgs”
    twinfan1: 30-24 Niners “I don’t think we can win based on last year’s formula.I think they’ll need to throw a lot”.

  29. unca_chuck says:

    Yeah, 7 FGs and a TD . . .

  30. rtfirefly says:

    Chuck, did I fail to forget my lawyer’s brother used to live under John Brodie’s roof?

    I just thought I would mention that, because your blog and Skeebs’ were dead because of Peyton Place. Were you aware that Niners 2012 is starting???????

    Niners-Packers 16-7. Defense. Special teams. Ball control.

  31. phil fan says:

    Niners-Packers 16-7. Defense. Special teams. Ball control.

    Got it rt

  32. rtfirefly says:

    This isn’t Safety Dance. It’s a song for Alex. As long as he doesn’t try to figure out the lyrics. No one can. Just like first half…………………………. second half.

  33. Nipper says:

    I hope the Niners D creams Rogers good.

  34. Nipper says:

    Query: Is Dennis presently horizontal or vertical? Sober or hungover?

    • Del Mar Dennis says:

      I haven’t decided which direction I’ll be going yet, but I’m taking Paul Lynde for the block either way. X gets the square.

  35. unca_chuck says:

    Great great song, RTF. The skit on SNL with Cocker and Belushi remains one of the most amazing things from that show.

  36. unca_chuck says:

    Or this one:

    Belushi was apparently a huge Joe Cocker fan. This is a pretty damn good impersonation.

  37. unca_chuck says:

    New thread is up . . .

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