San Francisco 49ers Forever

Not much going on out there in Ninerland, or football land for that matter. Unless the Antonio Bryant headlong rush into the looney-tunes-diva-wide-receiver-head-case-whack-job Hall of Fame is your style (TO is president and Ocho Cinco is treasurer). It’s good comedy anyway. Call me Mr. Puffy Chest? Really? Call me a Lyft. I’m getting out of Crazy-town.

Speaking of disgruntled Steelers, the guy who is much more appealing to me is Le’Veon Bell. He will not get the franchise tag from the Steelers, and will hit the free agency market soon.  Sure, we have Jared McKinnon, but look how well the run game did without him last year. Brieda, Wilson, Mostert (the free agent brigade), and even the forgotten Albert Morris led the Niners to the 6th ranked run offense in the NFC.

McKinnon has also proven to be a bit fragile, but I’d take the 5 mill cap hit to get Bell and the backups out there. We have a ton of cap space and he is a dominant RB who catches passes very well, and would fit into our system like a glove.

Another FA bandied about is Earl Thomas. Hey, we can re-create the legion of boom south. This move makes sense on just about every way you look at it. Our safeties have been fair to poor these last few seasons with Tartt, Ward, Harris, Reid, Exum, et al playing good, bad, and indifferent at various times these past few years.

I’m sure there are a lot more FAs out there who would fit (Golden Tate, Donte Moncrief at WR) but I think we address WR in the draft. No one is really floating my boat in free agency.

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And, in more fun news, Patriots owner Robert Kraft was busted for solicitation of prostitution for twice getting a happy ending at the local rub-and-tug massage parlor (Oriental Orchid) in Palm Beach, Fla.  I mean, really, Bob. Do out-call only. More control over the situation.

There’s a big block of calendar space that yields nothing in the way of football news, unless:

a) The AAF floats your boat
b) The NFL’s payoff of Kappy and Eric Reid is sticking in your craw
c) There just isn’t enough air time for Mel Kiper and his majic hair helmet.Gimme MORE!!

Our needs are many, (pass rusher, shutdown CB, safety, WR, O line) and there are several avenues in how to deal with them, but we have 2 months before the draft, and a month before free agency. Sure, the combines are coming up, but really, we are in the doldrums.

Winder, keep those videos coming!  Those old names crack open old memories . . .

Well, that, along with all the rest of the spectacle, was underwhelming at best, the worst Super Bowl of the Super Bowl era in my thoughts to say the least, was that. On paper, the Rams did little to nothing. 9 punts? 260 yards of offense? They did more by half time in most games. 3 points? Aggravating to me at least was the totally conservative play calling by McVay and company. Every first down saw a run play. I think they had 6 first downs heading into that 4th quarter. Again, that’s usually one DRIVE let alone 3 quarters of play. To combat this, they kept doing the same thing. It wasn’t until the FG drive in the 3rd quarter that they threw on 1st down. No quick passes that would have slowed NE’s suddenly stout pass rush. But the Pats played aggresive on defense, and the Rams were never able to counter.

NE wasn’t much better what with Brady throwing crap around most of the day including a 1st quarter pick, and a ton of late passes and a whopping 71.4 rating. They ran very well late though and ended up with and a grand total of 1254 on the ground.

The Rams defense bent all day, but by the end of the 3rd quarter it was still 3-3. Zzzzzzzzz. Brady had led a few promising drives, but the Rams were able to keep them at bay with the help of a missed FG and a rattled Brady. But if you punt the ball to Brady 9 fucking times, eventually he’ll do something right, and that was pretty much it as the Pats scored a TD late and Goff threw a stupid pick on 2nd down trying to lead the comeback.

Insult to injury was the missed FG at the end to at least avoid being tied with the most inept offense in the Super Bowl era

Go Rams? That is all.

Hey, it’s slow. I don’t give a shit about, nor will I likely watch, this Super Bowl.

But 24 years ago today, this happened . . .

I don’t think many of us realized at the time that this was the last high point for quite a while, but at was glorious. I remember thinking that this would have been much tougher against the Steelers, and I REALLY wanted to beat them in the Super Bowl,  but at is was we had this great beat-down of the San Dawgs.

Anyhow, enjoy.

This is the slowest time in the sports world. Radio silence from the Super Bowl teams, Basketball is in its dog-days of the grind. The big news with the Dubs at least, is Boogie Cousins and his return to the game. He’s been a foul magnet, and looks rusty, but he should round into form in time for the playoffs. Hockey? Meh. The Sharks are fine. I’ll glance at a game once in a while. Like basketball though, the season is way too long and everyone makes the playoffs.

Then there’s Super Bowl week! A maddening clusterfuck of forced interviews and canned pronouncements. Unless you are Marshawn Lynch (“I’m here so I don’t get fined”) or Chris Culliver (“Can’t be with that sweet stuff. Nah…can’t be…in the locker room man. Nah.”). We’ll get the scintillating Bill Belichick responses (“I’m looking at the Rams. They are a tough team.” Repeat 5,000 times) while I shove hot knitting needles in my eyes to ease the process.

Actually, I won’t even listen or bother. The quiet before the media storm becomes the quiet before the quiet. Still tired of Brady. Go rams. Ot maybe a sinkhole will swallow both teams at kickoff.

Something like that. Not gonna go out of my way to give a shit about this Super Bowl. I’m perennially sick of Brady and Belichick in the playoffs. The Rams? I’ve hated them since the Roman Gabriel days. Back when we were the dregs of the west and couldn’t get out of our own way. The tide has come and come with us and them trading off being good and bad, but they have once again ascended the mountain to get to the ultimate game.

If only for the fact that I want to see Brady have a losing record in Super Bowl games, I guess I’m rooting for the Rams. Hey, they got ex-Cal Bear Jared Goff going for them, as well as the architect of the 49ers greatest days grandson coaching them. Why not?

Super sky point to my brother-in-law who passed away a few years ago. He was a huge Rams fan and we had hundreds of running bets over the years. This beer is for you, Steve.

Like I said earlier, this is a pretty easy slate to pick from, fan-wise.

Fuck the Rams, fuck the Patriots.

• 38-28 KC over the Pats
• 28-27 Saints over Rams

Old guard vs the young guns. Tom Terrific is 41, Caterpillar-face is 40.

Jared Goff is 24. Patrick Mahomes is 23.

The thing about Brady is he gets so much more flustered when he’s under pressure, so they use a lot of quick passing to set up their big chunk plays. Mahomes is much better at improvising on the move. I think the Chiefs win this one pretty easily.

Saints Rams? I don’t know. Both these defenses can disappear for quarters at a time.That being said, I think this won'[t be as high-scoring as one would normally think.

My $0.02 anyway.

Rich Scangarello, the 49ers quarterbacks coach for the last 2 years, he of the molding of The Beater, Hoyer, Gabbert, Jimmy G, and most famously, Big Dick Nick Mullens, was hired by the Denver Broncos to be their new offensive coordinator. He is joining one Vic Fangio, he of the fairly recent defensive success of the 49ers, and more recently the Chicago Bearsss.

Looks like John Elway is working overtime to try and develop a team that can actually win games. Denver’s biggest problem? Well, it’s Elway’s position. Quarterback.  Since blowing off Colin Kaepernick 4 years ago, the Broncos have been a mess of shitty QB play, and truckloads of wasted money. 1st round pick Paxton Lynch hasn’t played a down since 2016, Trevor Siemien is a backup who didn’t play a down last year, Brock Osweiler, the $72 million man led the Broncos to 4 losses and no wins, and Case Keenum, the latest tire fire for Denver led the team to a 6-10 record. Denver’s defense did them no favors, but still and all, they are desperate for a bona fide starting QB.

Which leads right to Nick Mullens. He blew a LOT of people away with his play last year, and 3-5 record notwithstanding, played outstanding football and threw for over 2,200 yards and 13 touchdowns in 8 games. Which of course projects to 4,500 yards and 26 TDs over the course of 16 games. Good enough for 6th in the league in passing yards per game.

Far be it from me to want to see him go, and I would hate to see him go (anyone interested in a 1969 Dart slant-6? You know, The Beater?) but Mullens just became a giant blip on Elway’s radar with the hiring of Rich Scangarelli.

Think we can fleece ol’ horse-face for some picks and players for BDN? If the price is right, we have to. My best-case would be for Lynch to trade The Beater for a mid-level pick. All we could get is a 4th but it’s something.

If only for Philly. I really wanted to see Philly be forced into a move where their 2-time super Bowl winning QB was not the guy to go with for the future.  Sadly, that slipped through the hands of Alshon Jeffery late in the 4th quarter of their game against the Saints. Still and all, the conundrum that is Carson Wentz will play on. He’s had 2 shitty years around his one great one, so only time will tell what the Eagles will do with Pholes.

But I digress.

Next weekend is the penultimate weekend of the season. Usually a coupe of hard-fought games that everyone enjoys. Except for the losing sides.

For your football pleasure we have:

• Rams @ Saints
• NE @ KC

It couldn’t be much easier for me to pick teams to root for. I’ve been a fan of the Chiefs since the Otis Taylor/Lenny Dawson/Hank Stram days, and since the Niners didn’t have much playoff success back then, they were the team I rooted for in the playoffs back in the day. KC has had their own share of playoff failure, and then some, so there’s that as well. And really. Tom fucking Brady again? He’s at .500 now in Super Bowls. 5-5. Which is pretty incredible for him to play that many SBs. Esp still doing it at age 40. But Jiminy Christmas, go away already. The Pats regularly coast through the regular season like the Warriors cruising through theirs. 6 gimmes a season is a nice place to start from.

Fuck it. I think the Pats lose without their refs handing them 3-4 gift (tuck rule) calls a game. I think Mahomes outduels Brady, and the Pats defense folds under the pressure.

38-28 Chiefs

Saints Rams? As much as I like Sean McVay, I can’t even begin to hope the Rams get to the Super Bowl. Well, there’s a small corner in my heart for my ex-brother-in-law who passed away a couple years ago who was a die-hard Rams fan. From the late 70s till the Rams left in ’95, we had a ton of running bets on games won, head-to-head, and points crushed by, that usually involved whiskey and beer, so, Steve, if they make it, I’ll gladly raise a toast to you.

The Saints? Hey why not? Their defense held together pretty well after a rough start yesterday. And Brees was dealing like he does. Philly suffered a ton of injuries to their D line yesterday and that didn’t help, but NO is in. I think this game is a close one, but not as high-scoring as one would think.

28-27 Saints