Forty Niners Forever

Brought to you by Quacker Oats. Like I said the other day, according to the weboscribes, there are 31 teams interested in the services of Jimmy (who, me?) Garoppolo.

The next team on the hit parade is the New York (we barely play) football Giants. It could be that I’ve even posted this before. But whatevs. I’m just still on hold waiting for this interminable offseason to end and for the season to start. Even the preseason. Where we get to wonder how long Trey will play in any given game. You’d think a lot to give him much-needed reps, but who knows what the powers that be are thinking. Minimizing risk SHOULD be high on the list, but seeing how Kyle treated Trey last year, it was pretty much a clusterfuck nightmare of runs and (too many) hits.

And to make things even worse, we have the all-star break. The slowest time of the sports year. Hey, maybe Joc Pederson wears hit pearls and hits a home run. huzzah

Treat me the way you do . . .

Jesus. Arm fatigue? Really? That’s what the mole is leaking now? How much more can trickle out of 4949 Marie DeBartolo Way in Santa Clara? Camp has apparently gone well by all the accounting of the local scribes, and the people actually witnessing the practices. But yet again, there’s another rumor from colin Cowherd AND Mike Silver that he need rest as the team is rebuilding his motion.

FUnny as this wasn’t an issue last year. Or it was under the radar? I don’t know. The Athletic’s Ted Nguyen asked a coach at practice today and he said “I’ve never heard anything about that…” so there you go. More grist for the bullshit mill of sportswriters. Funny thing is, Grant Cohn, the guy who shits on every 49er, has little to nothing to say about it. And at least he’s local.

So at some point soon, Trey will take the field and the world will see what we have. It’s funny that some scribes still point to the fact that Jimmy is on the team. As if we aren’t trying like hell to get rid of him.

No word on Deebo but at this point no news is good news. He’s under contract for the season, and we will work out a del at some point. Like 10 minutes after Jimmy G is traded to the Falcons.

Well, the rumor mill keeps churning along as Jimmy Subway Shill Capicola is ‘progressing’ in his rehab from shoulder surgery and is ‘on schedule’ to start throwing next week. I guess showing he can still throw 10 yard swing passes without defenders being on the field so they can snag it for a pick 6 is crucial to our trading him, but the latest of Jimmy being the backup to Tom Turd-riffic in TB has been roundly rebuked by the Bucs.

An unnamed coach told Tampa’s beat writer Rick Stroud, ‘If Jimmy could throw a deep ball, he would’ve won two Super Bowls already.’

Ouch. But many NFL execs (???wtf???) feel that Jimmy will be traded ‘to someone’ by the end of the month. Nothing like a little veiled collusion to sprinkle upon the festivities of this young 2022 season. The latest now is the Falcons or the NY (I-think-we-play-football) Giants. Why? Well, the Falcons are banking on a wildly inconsistent Marcus Mariota to relieve their post-Matty Ice blues. The falcons are part of the Kyle Shanahan coaching scheme and they can build their offense around the dink, dunk, and run philosophy.

Even WITH Natty Matty, the Falcons have sucked hard since their epic Super Bowl collapse in 2016 and subsequent divisional playoff loss in 2017.

The NY (is-this-football?) Giants? Well, Daniel Jones is their QB, and the team isn’t really feeling him as their future, as they have denied his 5th-year option. I guess it would be an open competition with Jimmy. Worst-case scenario is they start Jones and see if he trips on his dick and they install Jimmy.

Certainly these scenarios are plausible. Make it so!

The 49ers preseason officially starts on July 26th. 20 days from now! Mick Jagger’s birthday.

So, start me up!! This is pretty much a dead zone for sports anyway, what with the Warriors chip back in the recent distant past, and the Giants fortunes are quietly swirling down the toilet bowl. But this is how it was when I was a kid. The Giants were a nice diversion while we all geared up for the upcoming football season.

Hitting, blocking, throwing, catching. Practice. What used to be 2-a-days, smear the queer, Oklahoma, all those crazy drills that have (logically) been banned for a log time that we grew up with. Now it is all about not getting injured before the season even starts. And what with one less preseason game, all this work becomes much more important as you cannot miss any time out of the gate up until the season starts on September 11th against the Bears.

Thing is though, you ask coaches about this and you have wildly diverging theories. Most coaches think that limiting hitting and no more 2-a-days leads to a better conditioned team and one less prone to injuries. Then again, per asshat Jimmy Johnson, he thinks that by lessening the hitting in practice, it does not prepare the players for the real thing. And also that drills like the Oklahoma, or man in the middle, or any other variants where the ball carrier tries to run through 2 linebackers, has unlearned players in how to tackle properly.

These thoughts are certainly things that actually makes sense. Injuries are not down, and tackling seems to be a lost art these days. But you can’t go back now. Not with the players union fully supporting the lessening of practice injuries. But they sure signed off on the 17 game schedule. Soon to be replaced by the 18 game schedule. and the 2-bye-week season. Something advocated (and tried once before) by our own George Kittle.

Whatever. The players and teams are all in the same boat. Let’s hope ours plays the longest and finishes first.

Bring on the new season! Should be a kick-ass one.

Like I’ve been saying since Deebo removed all the 49er shit from his profiles, word is trickling out from the webiverse that a deal is in the works for Deebo to get some fat stacks. Aaron Wilson of Pro Football Network doesn’t believe the situation is as dire as some have insinuated. Word out there is that “there is optimism surrounding a potentially huge deal for San Francisco 49ers star wide receiver Deebo Samuel, league sources told Pro Football Network,”

Thing is, Deebo is still under contract for one more season. I seriously don’t think he’s gonna sit out a season or demand a trade. And we can use the franchise tag if things don’t go as hoped. The hope is we sign him and make everyone happy. and make sure he remains a Niner for the foreseeable future.

Jimmy G is apparently recovering from his shoulder surgery and will begin throwing in a week. The only team that still seems interested in the Carolina Panthers. They of the Matt Corral, Sam Darnold, and P.J. Walker triumvirate of mediocrity at the quarterback position. Corral could be the answer but he, like most rookies, would do well with a season on the bench learning the ropes.

So, Jimmy G could very well become the next Alex Smith. Placeholder and QB whisperer for the up and coming stud QB. Or even Steve DeBerg, if you think he sucks worse than Young Sir Alex. I mean, Carolina has a strong run game (if Crystal Christian McCaffrey can stay on the field, that is) a solid defense, and decent enough weapons. I guess. And Jimmy has proven he can win some games given that scenario.

Whatever happens, though, whether Jimmy is traded or cut, all this leads to the Niners getting cap space and signing Deebo Samuel. Something we are still breathlessly waiting for.

Other than that? Not much to report on in football land other than Alex Smith dealing with yet another potentially tragic situation when his 6 year old daughter Sloane had 10 hours of emergency surgery to remove a malignant brain tumor. She is apparently cancer-free and everything appears to be fine, but holy shit, what a nightmare. Dude has been through the wringer more than a few times.

Huh. Hugh McElhenny passed away a couple days ago. Hall of Famer (in 1970), 5x All-pro, 6x Pro-Bowler. He was Roger Craig waaaaay before Roger Craig, amassing 11,375 all-purpose yards. 5,281 rushing, 3,247 receiving, and 2841 on kickoff/punt returns. He was way before my time, and all I’ve seen of him is the old black-and-white footage of his runs, catches, and punt returns of 50-60 to 90 yards. One famously without his helmet. I barely remember him as being an announcer for the 49ers.

The funny story around the Niners training camp back in 1952 when they drafted him was that he took a pay cut going from the University of Washington to the 49ers. He was getting close to $10,000 a year from Washington, and his first contract with the 49ers was for $7,000 dollars. I guess the college payoff scandal isn’t as new a thing as I thought.

Other than that, not much to report, other than Alvin Kamara is awaiting his suspension for breaking a man’s eye socket in an alcohol-fueled 3:00 am Las Vegas brawl, DeShaun Watson is awaiting his suspension for the 24 women he’s accused of harassing, and Henry Ruggs is still under house arrest for his vehicular manslaughter charge.

Oh, those wacky players. . .

Hey, who knows? We’ve been to the dance recently, and even have another NFCCG in our bonnet. Does that mean we are ready for the next step? The Warriors pulled it off after suffering through a couple down and injured seasons. The Giants pulled off 3 in 5 with some solid pitching and a revolving cast of characters. The 49ers? We have talent in spades, one of the best pass rushers in Nick Bosa, AA, and a hopefully fucking injury-free Javon Kinlaw.

The D line should be dominant. The secondary? Well, we felt strongly enough about Hufuanga to let Tartt go. the rest of the defensive backfield is a question as we bank once again on Jason Verrett , newly acquired Charvarius Ward, and Emmanuel Moseley.
The linebacking corps is solid as ever with Warner, Greenlaw, and Al-Shaair leading the way.

Offensively we have Aiyuk, Kittle, (soon) and Deebo. A strong cast of RBs in Mitchell, Sermon (?), Hasty, Wilson, and the drafted Tyrion Davis-Price. Jennings has proven to be a stud as well catching passes. Speedster Danny Gray is a real possibility to take the lid off the defense. A real deep threat?

The O line is Trent Williams and a list of meh. Center is the big question at this point with the nominal starter at this point being undrafted rookie ASU Dohnovan West and his backup Jake Brendel. Brunskill is the 3rd stringer. What could go wrong there? West is a pretty highly rated guy so we may have gotten a steal, but this is gonna be an interesting camp as they work through the rotations on the offensive line.

And that of course leaves Trey Lance. Now that Lance has actually done some things like practice, the hot-take du jour of Lance being a bust has subsided. Only to be replaced by how shitty Steph Curry is. It’s wonderful to hear the east coast media blow smoke up the Celtics’ ass as they get their ass handed to them. But now we are hearing things like, hey, the 49ers may be among the top teams in the league.

Hey. Why not? Everyone else in the area is winning chips, it’s our turn.

Word is “NFL execs” expect Jimmy G to be cut. Duh. Given the fact that Jimmy waited a month and a half before getting the surgery, they are less prone to giving a shit about him. Also, the 49er brass told Deebo they will not use him as a running back. Shocker there as well. Maybe John Lynch took a 2 x 4 to Kyle’s playbook. You know, the one that had Deebo facing D linemen by running him up the middle.

Let’s also hope he knocked out the parts where Trey Lance runs 18 times a game. These were my two biggest worries this offseason. How we use our best weapons.

And, the Warriors are at the stage in these finals where they are in must-win mode. Going down 3-1 isn’t advisable against a very tough Celtics team. Thing about Boston is they have a problem with consistency. They play well, they play poor the next game. It has happened to them all through the playoffs. However, they should be motivated to trying to salt this away. Dray had a shit game, as did the defense in general. Still and all, I see the Warriors bouncing back themselves.

Also, if you find yourself cheering on the Giants and Warriors tonight, raise a toast for a friend. Kevin Casey. He recently passed away, 6 months past his 60th birthday. I must have seen 50 football games with him, 100 Giants games, and a bunch of us watched football every weekend for about 14 years. From high school to our 30s. Then we started having kids, and we all did the Barney parties, the Gymboree parties, the sleepovers, and the football game watching parties got a lot more insane. Kevin was a guitar player and singer all his life, and his claim to fame was getting hired, and fired, by Ronnie Montrose to be his lead singer.

Rock on, my brother.

Between Deebo and Jimmy, there’s little else to talk about in Ninerland. Oh, yeah. That’s right. Our new quarterback is a bust. At least that’s what the national media says. You know, the ones that proclaimed that the Niners were 100% guaranteed bet the house write it in stone to draft Jac Mones.

The 49ers seem to be some kind of bullshit magnet when it comes to media speculation around the quarterback position. Or the idea of throwing shit against the wall and seeing what sticks. Mainly because you have so many in the media in a tizzy over why Jimmy is still on the team. Like they forgot that his shoulder is mending from a surgery that for all intents and purposes could have been done in January, not March. The reasoning behind that? Not sure but it sure plays into the fact that the 49ers didn’t even bother to invite Jimmy G to the mandatory minicamp today.

Somewhat surprisingly, Deebo committed to attending the minicamp. Whatever the issues were earlier in the offseason, mainly the fact that the Niners were overusing him as a WR, a RB, AND as a PR, he balked at putting himself in harm’s way much more than needed, he seems to be in a better state of mind regarding the team.

And I still think this is the reason why the Niners drafted a RB in the 3rd round. To show Deebo that they were serious about reducing his workload. Anyway, there you have it. One step closer to signing Deebo, and one step closer to cutting Jimmy.

Side note: The last team seemingly interested in Jimmy, the Carolina Panthers, have said unequivocally that they are not interested in a trade for him. In other words, they are waiting for Jimmy to get cut.