Capicola Cop Out

Well, the rumor mill keeps churning along as Jimmy Subway Shill Capicola is ‘progressing’ in his rehab from shoulder surgery and is ‘on schedule’ to start throwing next week. I guess showing he can still throw 10 yard swing passes without defenders being on the field so they can snag it for a pick 6 is crucial to our trading him, but the latest of Jimmy being the backup to Tom Turd-riffic in TB has been roundly rebuked by the Bucs.

An unnamed coach told Tampa’s beat writer Rick Stroud, ‘If Jimmy could throw a deep ball, he would’ve won two Super Bowls already.’

Ouch. But many NFL execs (???wtf???) feel that Jimmy will be traded ‘to someone’ by the end of the month. Nothing like a little veiled collusion to sprinkle upon the festivities of this young 2022 season. The latest now is the Falcons or the NY (I-think-we-play-football) Giants. Why? Well, the Falcons are banking on a wildly inconsistent Marcus Mariota to relieve their post-Matty Ice blues. The falcons are part of the Kyle Shanahan coaching scheme and they can build their offense around the dink, dunk, and run philosophy.

Even WITH Natty Matty, the Falcons have sucked hard since their epic Super Bowl collapse in 2016 and subsequent divisional playoff loss in 2017.

The NY (is-this-football?) Giants? Well, Daniel Jones is their QB, and the team isn’t really feeling him as their future, as they have denied his 5th-year option. I guess it would be an open competition with Jimmy. Worst-case scenario is they start Jones and see if he trips on his dick and they install Jimmy.

Certainly these scenarios are plausible. Make it so!

About unca_chuck

Lifelong SF 49ers, SF Giants, and Golden State Warriors fan
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8 Responses to Capicola Cop Out

  1. unca_chuck says:

    How much do you want to bet that the ‘unnamed coach’ is Bruce Arians.

  2. unca_chuck says:

    And this is apparently a thing . . . Been saying it could happen, but seems a bit far-fetched.

    • Winder says:

      I think they will try every option before letting Jimmy go to Seattle. I am thinking they might just eat his salary until some teams QB goes down and then move him. If we just cut him loose he will be a Seafuck.

  3. unca_chuck says:

    I wouldn’t care either way as long as we get something for him. I think he goes to the Falcons as Mariota has been hit-or-miss as a starter. Then again so has Daniel Jones.

  4. unca_chuck says:

    Hah!!! Get on, Jimmy!!!!

  5. unca_chuck says:

    The Public Transit of Sadness

  6. unca_chuck says:

    Now the story is the 49ers are allowing teams to renegotiate Jimmy’s contract to a more favorable one. And now the Texans want him. Albert Breer, yeah, who the fuck?, is now saying Jimmy is underrated. According to the webscribes, every fucking team in the NFL is interested.

  7. unca_chuck says:

    New thread is up.

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