Can You Spell Equanimeous?

I had to copy it to get the spelling right, but the 49ers bulkyed up the WR corps with Equanimeous St.Brown, the much lesser brother of Amon-Ra St. Brown. Hopefully something rubs off of younger bro and he gets some meaningful yards and catches.

As it is, the news from the Jauan Jennings camp is he ISN’T demanding a trade. He’s going the much more retarded way of holding in. Don’t know what it means, but signing EQ means they aren’t dependent on JJ as they were yesterday. JJ apparently will be in camp and practicing.

Still think they either jack up JJ’s incentives, or simply redo this year cuz I think JJ wants to stick around. Give him something like 1 year/$18 mill and see what happens. He is a stud WR and an outstanding blocker, and he’s healthy.

They are almost forced to do this as Pearsall is looking like he’s gonna be on the IR for the foreseeable future. He may simply be damaged goods. And it has nothing to do with the gun shot wound.

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The Puppies Are Loose ~~~~~!!!

Well, it ain’t good news, but the PUP list came out a few minutes ago.

The following players have been placed on the Active/Physically Unable to Perform list:

The following players have been placed on the Active/Non-Football Injury list:

The good news is players can be moved to the actice roster any time before the season starts, but once it does, they miss the first 4 games.

BA isn’t a surprise, but Pearsall is. But everyone is saying he’ll be ready once practice starts next week. Let’s hope so, or we may have to go ahead and bend over for Jauan. BA is ahead of schedule, but I don’t see the Niners pushing him too fast as his injury was pretty brutal. Saw the game and that play (what a fucking disaster) was right in front of us and it looked as bad as it was.

Mustapha is also flirting with not being put on the pup list to start the season as he’s ahead of schedule on his knee injury the last fucking game of the season. But we’ll see on that one as well.

Ben Bartch is a mystery. No idea he was hurt, and I can’t find anything on his current status as he looks to be our starting LG.

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2nd Round Log Jam – The Turds Are Loose~~~~~!

As usual I predict the future before it happens. Anyhow, the turds are suddenly flying out of the 2nd round bung hole that is the draft. The first turd to escape the backup? DT Alfred Collins. I really didn’t think the 49ers had it in them to be the (enough with the turd refs) ones to let loose the mud bath, but they did. Signing Collins to a $10.3 mill rookie deal, with $9 mill guaranteed. Something like 88%. As of right now, 6 guys have signed their deals after 2 months of nothing.

If anything, this forces GMs to be damn sure they get the guy they really like, as the only diff between this and last season is the amount of guaranteed money going to guys in the 2nd round. Like I said, it isn’t about the money. It’s about the owners trying to squeeze what they can out of guys that are drafted high and don’t make the grade. In the 2nd round. Prepare for this scenario next year in the 3rd round.

Camps are opening up for rookies across the country, and still we are at 30 of the 32 picks unsigned.

Hmmm, does this sound like owner collusion? If it looks like a turd, smells like a turd, and tastes like a turd . . . eat shit mo-fos.

Funny thing is, it really brings to light just how fucking greedy these owners are. I mean, it isn’t even about these guys demanding more slotting money. It is about guaranteed money. I mean, I have no idea what the numbers are as to who lives up to their deals in the 2nd round, but I’m kinda sure that most of the 2nd round guys at least live up to 75% of their potential.

Meaning this really isn’t a big deal. So a guy who used to get $3 mill guaranteed money on his deal now wants $6 mill? If the guy is solid for 3 years, it’s a wash. If he isn’t, well, tough shit. This is how the game is played. Charge $50.00 for a fucking beer you goddamn tight ass. You know you want to anyway.

So Alfred Collins is currently on the clock for missing camp time as rookies report today to the Santa Clara nud flats.

And we still have a week to figure out how to tell Jauan Jennings, you signed your deal, now live up to it.

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The Rumor Mill Grinds Away Like Pepper Corns

Back when I was in high school we used to drive to Tahoe to go skiing. Halfway up I-80 was the Rumor Mill. A great place to stop, take a piss, and refill the ice cooler to keep those roadies fresh and cold.

Anyhow, the word is we are fishing for Terry McLaurin. Someone who my son desperately wanted us to draft, but alas it was not to be and we picked Jalen Hurd. Yeah, the guy who played zero downs in his illustrious NFL career.

No idea what he would cost, but it wouldn’t be cheap. But due to our fire sale eaelier this season, we have the third most cap space in the NFL.

The dude is productive as hell and hasn’t missed a game in 4 seasons, so sure, why the hell not?

Other than that, 2 weeks till camp!

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3 Weeks Before Things Get Started

And no one is making progress on signing their 2nd round picks. Far be it from the Niners to throw their lot in first but eventually teams will cave. Mainly because they have to.

Not much to do now than reminisce about good times and old days.

This season could be anything from great to awful.

Yeah we have an easy schedule but we still have to play the games. We have (almost) everyone signed, but they still have to scheme up a better red zone offense.

Defensively I think we will be OK.

Special teams is a big question mark.

But the season is right around the corner.

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Training Camp is On the Horizon

Not much in football-land happening, short of the log-jam at signing 2nd round guys due to the Houstons throwing a wrench into the draft guaranteed money for 2nd round picks they decided to do.

That being said, training camp is less than a month away. Which means the Hall of Fame game is coming up next month.

Woo hoo!

Here’s the schedule:

  • Rookies report: July 15
  • Veterans report: July 22

Light the fires and kick the tires.

Other than that, it’s all dullsville for the NFL right now. Unless the Aaron Rodgers to Pittsburgh saga thrills you. He says “this’ll probably be my last season” and this glorious tidbit “when I’m done playing, you won’t see me”. We can only fucking hope.

Pittsburgh is awful desperate to be throwing money at Rodgers, as both Juston Fields and Russell Wilson had their moments amid a season that went south for in a hurry. Mike Tomlin may not have had a losing season in 19 years, but they have not won a playoff game since the 2016 season. 8-11 in the playoffs total.

Good luck with that!!

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Almost All is Well . . .

Have to thank the fucking Houston Texans for throwing a wrench into the signing of Alfred Collins by offering their 2nd round pick WR Jayden Higgins a fully guaranteed 4 year, $117 million contract. Thus altering how teams deal with their 2nd round picks.

So much for just the 1st round picks getting guaranteed deals. And so much for slotting money by draft position. Oh well.

Interestingly enough, of the 40 picks that are unsigned, 30 of them are 2nd round picks, and only 2 are 1st round picks. The biggest commotion is around Shemar Stewart, the 1st round pick of the Bengals. The Bengals, who are cheaper than the Oakland/Sacto/Vegas/Oakland A’s, are trying to force Stewart to sign a deal that voids some of the guaranteed money in his contract.

This loophole has been there, but it is something no one else has tried to force a player to sign.

And of course with that happening, the blogosphere is awash in speculation that the 49ers should try to pry him away from the tight-ass Bengals. Something like a 3rd and 5th round pick to get him.

Sounds great, but I don’t think even Cincy is that stupid. I don’;’t profess to know, but really, Cincy’s defense is ludicrously terrible despite Trey Hendrickson and his 17.5 sacks (oh yeah, he’s holding out as well!).

I guess it would be cool to get him for a bag of donuts, but let’s sign our 2nd round pick before going fishing for another, uh, fish.

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Who’s Gonna Catch the Ball?

Yeah, we have Kittle signed, urday signed, and we even may have a viable backup TE in Luke Ferrell. But what about WR? We all know Deebo pouted and dropsied his way off the team last year amid the whining and general ineffectiveness, but who steps up?

And we all know Brandon Aiyuk is in the process of following Deebo’s path of whining stupidity from social media to off the team after holding out last year, playing like shit, and getting hurt. He’s more than likely gonna hit the PUP list, forcing to miss the first four games, and then, well, we will see. Funny thing is, BA is pretty much pissing in the wind given the state of NFL quarterbacking these days. Lots; of newbies and stiffs out there. he had a great thing going with Purdy until he shot himself in the feet. Granted the front office was handing him all the bullets he could fire, but that’s a different story.

Speaking of shooting, Ricky Pearsall is slow to be cleared to practice as he is nursing a sore hammy. If anyone needs to hit the ground running, it’s the guy we spent our 1st round pick on last year. As I’ve said more than a few times, I didn’t get the pick then and I still don’t get it. But if he isn’t full speed by September, we are kinda thin at the WR spot.

11Aiyuk, Brandon 5DemarcusRobinson18Hodgins, Isaiah3Knowles, Malik
1Pearsall, Ricky17Watkins, Jordan14Neyor, Isaiah83Owens, Terique
15Jennings, Jauan19Cowing, Jacob86Bergen, Junior84Gage Jr., Russell

Among the rumblings, the guy we got from the Rams, Demarcus Robinson looks to be suspended for 3 games stemming from getting popped for DUI/reckless (luckily wreckless) driving last November while driving over 100 MPH near the Rams team facility. Come on, man. Who hasn’t done that?

That leaves 3rd and Jauan Jennings as our go-to WR. HE’s a stud and very reliable, but who’s next? Jacob Cowing is a nice slot guy who isn’t gonna make anyone forget Trent Taylor, but other than that, we are thin as tissue. At least until Robinson and BA come back. And I really wonder if we just cut BA when he comes back. I’m kidding, kind of, but really.

Hodgins, Gage, and Knowles are fairly nondescript young guys, and Watkins, Bergren, & Neyor are rooks. TO JR would a the feel-good story of the year if he could have an impact, but that is a shot in the darkest dark.

One thing coming out of camp so far is the impact Jordan Watkins is making on teammates and coaches. He’s apparently doing a number on Lenoir in practice, and that is no mean feat. Sure it’s only practice, but hey, if we have a diamond in the rough in Watkins as these guys seem to be good at finding; groovy, baby!

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Minor Mea Culpa

After what seemed like the worst possible offseason in the past 30 years, I have to say I’m pretty happy with how the team looks now.

The 49ers spent most of their draft capital on the defense, and more importantly got rid of Mr. Squishy Nick Sorensen. The defense looks to be vastly improved over last year’s bend/break/die defense with the return of Robert Saleh, and a crop of new young defensive linemen. The trade for Saleh’s DE Huff should also provide a spark.

Special teams got a kick in the ass with the firing of Brian Schneider and the hiring of Saleh’s guy Brant Boyer. The abject ineptitude of the special teams unit last year was painfully obvious by week 4 and it looks to be improved with a new punter, a new long snapper, and some competition for Jake from State Moody.

The big but of course ot the offensive line. Our pass protection win rate was last in the league, and Purdy was often under pressure late in games when the 49ers needed to pass. In what should be painfully obvious, blitzing and constant pressure killed most of our comeback efforts, along with some bad passes by Purdy. He isn’t blameless in this scenario, but the biggest issue facing this team last year was dropping from 3rd to 29th in points allowed. As many QBs before him have proven, it’s hard to win when you are chasing the scoreboard. ANd the points came at the hands of the defense and the poor special teams play.

I still have my issues with how this team managed to blow a lot of games last season, and I really hope that Shanahan has learned a lesson or two in how to score in the red zone. Having a healthy bunch of weapons should help, but I also hope Shanny has learned how to spell his healthy running backs before they break.

Kittle is healthy, CMC is healthy, Jannings is ready to go, Aiyuk? Well, he’s prolly gonna get pupped so he’ll miss the first 4 games, and Pearsall is nursing a hammy, but other than that, it’s full steam ahead. Everyone is signed, sealed, and delivered so the future looks good as of now. And we have a fairly soft schedule to boot.

Bring it on (in September)!

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Looking for Mr. Good Rush

The Niners have nearly finalized a trade w/ the Iggles for Bryce Huff. The UDFA edge rusher that had a breakout season with the Jets, getting 10 sacks without having started a game. The trade if for a mid-round pick apparently. He signed a 3 year deal with the Eagles last year, but wa sidelined by injury and missed the Super Bowl.

Got to say, at least the 49ers aren’t sitting on their thumbs like their counterparts in baseball.

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