The Deeetroit Hand Job

Well, the NFL in their infinite wisdom, scheduled the now famous Detroit Hand Shake Bowl II for week 2 of the schedule. to me the incident itself was funny enough. Jim Harbaugh was very excited about the win over a tough team on the road, overcoming deficits of 10-0, 13-12, and 19-15 and scored 10 unanswered points in the 4th quarter to win 25-19.  He ran over to little Jimmy Schwartz, and gave him a hearty handshake, a slap on the back, and a ‘hell of a game’ comment as he ran for the locker room. Poor little Jimmy took offense to the heartiness of it all. This of course after Schwartz ridiculed Harbaugh for a screwed up challenge, and his sideline antics of waving his fingers to the crowd to count off sacks by his team. It then nearly turned into a fight as Anthony Davis chased down Schwartz as he ran to yell at Harbaugh and the hilarity ensued. But you all know this.

The funniest thing to me was Harbaugh saying he shook Schwartz’s hand too hard. “I got right in there, and went BAM!” Pretty much Harbaugh’s way of calling Schwartz a pussy. No one played up that aspect of it, but that’s how I read the whole thing. The media wouldn’t let it go, but whatever. Flash to the here and now, and everyone is pretty much letting this fade to the background. Well, everyone but the media. They are billing this Handshakegate II, or whatever. Seeing as this is a nationally televised Sunday Night game, the intensity should be pretty high anyway. Home opener for the Niners. Let’s hope for no power outages. On the field and in the stadium.

Deetroit in their infinite wisdom, has started chirping already. Here’s what CB Chris Houston had to say about Randy Moss:

Moss is a “possession receiver.”  Houston added that he doesn’t think Moss can “take the top off” the defense.

Given Detroit’s problems in the defensive secondary, it’s not the smartest thing Houston ever has said.  Moss caught a TD in the 49ers’ road opening win over the Packers, so Houston shouldn’t give Moss any extra reason to try even harder to make an impact. Funny thing is, Houston is nursing a high ankle sprain and may not play. Safety Louis Delmas is also hurting (knee injury) and both could miss the game. So, egging on the opposition while nursing your owie isn’t the smartest course of action. Many Detroit players even admitted to looking past the Rams (which nearly cost them the game) to this home opener for the 49ers.

We took it to them in their house, and they want to return the favor. Yeah, we get it, guys. You are awesome at yapping to the press. Unfortuately for you, the game is played on the field. Harbaugh, for his part doesn’t want to talk about the handshake. He merely deflects the questions as if they are about preparations for Deetroit.  I think the Niners win going away, 31-17.

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About unca_chuck

Lifelong SF 49ers and SF Giants fan
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95 Responses to The Deeetroit Hand Job

  1. barleyfreak says:

    Yeah, poor widdle Jimmy couldn’t handle Jimbo’s Manshake. Hilarious. I hope that the media keeps talking about it and asking Jimmy May-The-Schwartz-Be-With-You about it daily. Get them thinking about the Manhandleshake instead of an effective game plan. JH is going to school the twirp.

  2. Irish Kevin says:

    Power Rankings has Niners at #2 behind NE

  3. Irish Kevin says:

    2
    49ers
    1-0 2 2/4
    For the 49ers to go on the road, and particularly to Green Bay, was impressive as any win on Sunday. In my opinion, they are the most complete team in the NFL with a scary good defense, but now also an offense that can hang big points as well. They separ
    Team: Home | Stats | Fantasy | Schedule | Gear

  4. unca_chuck says:

    I don’t really know what these power ranking are, and who buys into them. mainly because week to week, things change so much. I mean, if StL had beaten Detroit, would they have been ranked higher based on a fluke win? Does Cleveland get props for almost beating Philly? I don;t know how high the Niners got last year, but they should have been around 3 by week 10.

  5. unca_chuck says:

    This is awesome. Love the noise it makes:

  6. rtfirefly says:

    Power rankings???

    New York Giants #!.
    Green Bay Packers #2.
    New Orleans Saints #3.
    That iron team with the you-know-what QB not far behind.

    I dunno. I’m just kinda weird like that.

    • Grumpy Guy says:

      You’re serious? How can the Packers be that high? Both the Giants and 49ers have pretty much cleaned the floor with them in the last two games that counted, at Lambeau. Good QB, and WRs, yes. But what else? Not much, I would say.

      I would say that it’s us and the Giants, based partly on last year. October 14 will be the game of the year (pre-playoffs).

      • rtfirefly says:

        They held the Lombardi Trophy, I respect that and always will.

      • Grumpy Guy says:

        Yep. But two years is a long time in the NFL. They have no real running game now, and a suspect defense. They have an outstanding passing game, but a great quarter of a team still is no threat to a balanced team – see also, Marino, Danny, 1984.

    • 12th man says:

      Giants barely made playoffs last year then got hot and won in tough places, then got waxed by the Cowboys at home first game. GB got waxed by us at home and Saints got waxed by the skins with a rookie QB no less, also at home. Your top 3 all lost game 1 at home and got beat badly losing.
      Green Bay had a lombardi 2 years ago, what has that got to do with anything? Sorry RT, don’t see where you are coming from with those rankings.

      Chuck, I think rankings do mean something, not on the field of course, but in the respect department. When national press has you top 5 that has meaning to the players and fans, its recognition of the team.

  7. unca_chuck says:

    Based on what I saw Dallas do to the NYG’s, I’d put them below us. They are a much weaker team without Jacobs. Manningham won’t be all that missed, but I think that Coughlin’s head will be getting screamed for in about 3 weeks. The Saints are in trouble without Payton. End of story. They have injuries to deal with as well.

    NE? Who knows? They lucked their way into the Super Bowl after being outplayed by the Ravens. But based on last year’s Super Bowl outcome, I’d put the Niners ahead of them as well.

    Not that it means anything.

  8. unca_chuck says:

    All I’m saying is, the Niners should be ranked #1 if anything at all based on their opponent and the location of said game. The Skins looked great in NO, but the Saints came into this season as a big ? with all the bullshit surrpounding them. I guess the Cowboys are ranked over the Giants?

  9. unca_chuck says:

    Well, you made me look this up. here are the top 16 teams.

    1. Patriots
    2. 49ers
    3. Ravens
    4. Texans
    5. Packers
    6. Broncos
    7. Giants
    8. Eagles
    9. Steelers
    10. Cowboys
    11. Falcons
    12. Lions
    13. Redskins
    14. Bears
    15. Saints
    16. Jets

  10. rtfirefly says:

    The Giants O-line was hurt by injuries (and Baas is a good center, not a great one, and I was happier then freak when the Niners got Goodwin to fill in. Boone might take that next year.)
    Two Lombardi Trophy in 5 yearl Eli Manning. Jason Pierre-Paul. That’s where I’m comin’ from, 12th.

    • 12th man says:

      Each to his own RT but for me that means nothing, Giants may very well not even make playoffs this year, their division has 4 solid teams and they lost to a rival already. Iggles squeeked a win but cowboys and indians made a statement. Having said that, Romo is still Romo in January until he can prove otherwise.

  11. unca_chuck says:

    Looks like BS to me. The Skins beat the Saints on the road, and don’t rate better than the Lions, who almost lost to the Rams in their own house? The Giants lose a pretty horrible game yet rate higher than the Cowboys that beat them? I mean, no matter how you slice it, the Cowboys were pretty close to the Giants in terms of the standings last year. And they laid a pretty substantial beatdown on the Giants in their house.

  12. unca_chuck says:

    Well, this isn’t about who was good 5 years ago, or even last year. Basing this on one game is a bit hyperbolic, but by any measure the Niners should be #1. And I’m not just being a Niner fan here.

    Beyond that, the Broncos should be higher up for beating Pittsburgh. I mean, Hou beat Miami! BFD! They get a better ranking than Denver?

  13. Grumpy Guy says:

    The thing is, the writers all know that the Cowgurls play better in September with nothing on the line. The Giants often seem to play better at the end of the year. Poise or whatever you want to call it.

    For my part, I’m still getting a hunch we might see the Harbaugh Bowl, Part Two this January. The Ravens lost Suggs, but that is still a very good team, especially at home. They understand the way to beat a team with a good QB is the Way of Pain. Motherfucker is not completing anything from his stretcher. If anyone can beat Brady and Belicheat in the AFC, I think it will be them.

    • 12th man says:

      The Harbowl was my SB pick Grump and I didn’t see anything from game 1 to feel less confident about. In fact the only team pick wise that let me down was the Panthers, I have them for my AFC south pick, strange game for Cam last week so we will see.

  14. unca_chuck says:

    I wish I knew how much the players and teams paid attention to this kind of stuff. Singletary, it seemed, relished in this kind of shit to the detriment of the team. It ALWAYS seemed like when there was a big game coming up, they would invariably play flat and expect the other teams to fall at their feet for all their percieved greatness, and lose badly. The Frederick P Soft syndrome, as harbaugh puts it.

    Bill Walsh ALWAYS portrayed the media as being traitorous bastards who should be never listened to (or at least used as a tool for motivating his players). Harbaugh does much the same thing. Create the ‘us vs everyone else’ scenario by pointing out the lack of respect the national (and local) media portrays the team. See this last game.

  15. rtfirefly says:

    If you want my honest opinion, I think the ^%!#$% Skins are a dangerous team this year. Much more dangerous than those little cats from Detroit.

    • Grumpy Guy says:

      RG3 is talented, and had a fine debut. But he is still a rookie. Teams will disguise coverages, blitz him, and get inside his head. Like Cam last year, he’ll make some great plays, but probably also throw a lot of picks, and that will keep them from breaking .500 I expect. In two years, though, look out.

      • rtfirefly says:

        Mike Shanahan is the coach and RB III’s offensive coordinatror.
        Like Sing is the assistant coach of the VIkes with BIll Musgrave who whipped all of Dan Fouts’ records In Eugene is the second year offensive coorinator before Bill Walsh made him QB #4. Tough I get to stand on the sidelines behind Joe Montana and Steve Young.
        Musgrave was Matt Schaub’s QB coach before taking over the job in Minneapolis.
        Gonna be a long season; The Lions next. Next stop, Candlestick. I watched Willie Mays play there. Magic happens there.

  16. rtfirefly says:

    Jeebus, Chuck. WordPress has got me spooked I guess. Can’t type and edit and get it through worth a damn.

    • phil fan says:

      RT- Just to make sure my incredible words of football wisdom don’t get swallowed up by WordPress I try to copy (and save automatically) in the browser on this page BEFORE hitting the Post Comment button. So if there’s a fuck up I can try to repost a bit later. Usually saves me some grief

  17. phil fan says:

    Power rankings? I bet the players and coaches scoff at these. Seems like the media rank teams based on reputation and last year’s doings. There’s always the east coast bias going on too. Much like Pro Bowl voting a lot of it is just history and not relevant this year.

    Yep the various media are usually ignorant and biased scum. Hell I’d rather listen to you guys…chuckle.

  18. unca_chuck says:

    I don’ get it. I have nothing set in my filters. Fuck shit piss, cocksucker motherfucker cowpies.

  19. unca_chuck says:

    I checked the comments and there’s nothing in the Held folder or the spam folder either. Whatever you are posting isn’t making it here. Try cleaering your cache, and maybe deleting your temporary internet files.

  20. rtfirefly says:

    Had nothing to do with you, Chuck. A government agency far more powerful than us thanks to the Patriot Act. I just happened to write the keywords “Home…Secur#@$” when describing my two times in Texas being arrested on false pretenses and detained. 25 years apart, same thing.
    No thanks. I’ll stick with New Mexico for now. They don’t search you and your car for the crime of having California license plates.

  21. 12th man says:

    Some GPS games for the NFC West this week, Zona of the 8-2 out of last 10 games record play the Pats in Gillette Stadium, Hawks host Romo and the Boys and the Rams have the red hot RG3 and the skins at home. Our GPS game was last Sunday but it wouldn’t hurt to hammer the point home against the lions at the stick on National T.V.

  22. 12th man says:

    Incidentally, Niners O ranked 12th, D ranked 14th….. Lions O ranked 5th, D ranked 2nd all based off 1 game played so far.

  23. rtfirefly says:

    Nope, 12th. Just the license plates. If I’d been smoking pot or a had a single seed in the trunk, I’d have a good time watching My Guy Nate of the Amarillo Venom on TV.
    For about the next 5.
    Just California license plates in Texas. They don’t shit like there down inTexas.

  24. snarkk says:

    Rankings after one week are total, unmitigated horseshit. Wait until 8 games in, let’s see where the teams stand. Then, we can start handicapping a little bit. Even then, 8 games remain and injuries thereafter could play a huge role…

    • Grumpy Guy says:

      Injuries always are a huge factor. A lot of people thought Houston might run the table last year. Then they lost Schaub. Already, the Ravens have lost Suggs.

      The 49ers have impressive depth for the cap era… but still, there are any number of guys they can ill afford to lose.

      In the NFL, it’s not so much about who has the best roster… it’s about who still has the best squad in January. That’s why, even the very best NFL teams have no better than a 1 in 2 shot at a championship, and usually somewhat less. It’s just hard to keep all your key pieces healthy. I remember the Steelers losing both Harris and Bleier in 1976 in the playoffs. Probably cost them their threepeat shot. The 49ers had various seasons shortened by injuries to Joe Montana, Eric Wright, Dwight Clark, Dwaine Board, Roger Craig, and various other guys.

      For everything you do to prepare, luck still has a big hand in things down the stretch. All you can do is be as ready as you can and play the hand you are dealt.

  25. unca_chuck says:

    Yeah, the Niners were fairly lucky last year inhjury-wise, even if they did lose Patrick Willis for 3-4 games and Joshua Morgan early on. Teams like the Giants last year certainly had their rash of injuries, and they struggled. Until everyone got healthy and they made their run. SD was killed by injuries last year. StL the year before. It doesn’t take much to derail a season. As you said, Grump, Hou was on their way to great heights when Schaub went down, and their season went down as well.

    That being said, the Niners ARE pretty well-positioned to withstand SOME injuries. Of all the teams out there, I think the Niners are about as deep as you can get in this post-cap era. Even Alex Smith. I think having Cappy in there would show a completely different style and bring more offensive firepower. Not that I really want to find out at this point.

    Criminy, I didn’t know there were that many ‘power rankings’ out there. I counted like 8 doing a quick search.

    • 12th man says:

      The key player for us is Justin Smith, looking through the roster we have adequate replacements where the drop off in production should be minimal, but Smith plays at an unbelievable level. Aldon Smith would also be a big loss.

  26. unca_chuck says:

    Yeah, the only time I’ve been to Texas is to go to Houston on business. A much different scene than way out in the hinterlands of west Texas.

  27. unca_chuck says:

    Good call, 12th. he’s about the only guy who is truly irreplaceable. Let’s hope it never comes to that.

  28. phil fan says:

    With our new offensive weapons and stout OL I think we score 30 again and give up no more than 20. 30-20 Niners. Don’t see it being too close a game. Should be a great day at the Stick, wish I could be there after the great start to the season.

    Scoring Challenge:

    Chuck: 31-17 Niners. “You are awesome at yapping to the press. Unfortuately for you, the game is played on the field. Niners win it going away.”

    Phil: 30-20 Niners: “With our new offensive weapons and stout OL I think we score 30 again and give up no more than 20.”

    • phil fan says:

      12th man: “30-17 Niners, 2 TD, 3 FG and a pick 6 and conversion, how’s that for a team win”!

      Grumpy Guy: 31-13 Niners. “I think we crush the kitties”.

      rtfirefly: 16-7 Niners. “Defense. Special Teams. Ball Control. Turnovers. I’m gonna keep this up all season”.

      Del Mar seems to be missing in action. Hopefully due to a change of heart since the Niners are now very competitive.

  29. unca_chuck says:

    De ja vu, Phil . . .

  30. 12th Man says:

    Ok Phil, here ya go. 30-17 Niners, 2 TD, 3 FG and a pick 6 and conversion, how’s that for a team win!

  31. Grumpy Guy says:

    I think we crush the kitties. 31-13.

    • philippinefan says:

      If our ST plays to ability there will be no 80+ yard botched punt return. 22-8 = 14 so 13 for the freakin’ Lions sounds right.

  32. phil fan says:

    Flavor you axed: “Has anybody researched the Exact distances these ’63 yard’ kicks went? Were they zackly 63 yards or more or less? Who rally hit the longest FG?”

    Sir I have researched this question in my usual rigorous, scientific manner and present my definitive conclusion as follows:

    According to whatchutalkinabouthillis says: Sep 13, 2012 12:23 AM

    “””Official record says they tied but I think Akers beat Dempsey by half a foot.””

    Hyuk, hyuk.

    http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2012/09/12/when-ball-left-his-foot-david-akers-thought-hed-missed-record-kick/

  33. unca_chuck says:

    Here’s an excellent breakdown of the job the Niners O line did against Green Bay.

    http://www.footballoutsiders.com/word-muth/2012/word-muth-49ers-packers

  34. rtfirefly says:

    Defense. Special Teams. Ball Control. Turnovers.
    Lions-Niners. 7-16 (home game).
    I’m gonna keep this up all season.

  35. unca_chuck says:

    Apropos of nothing, I just think this is funny, seeing where the Giants are in the standings.

  36. rtfirefly says:

    Apropos of nothing. I was the only guy in the county wearing my Niner baseball cap before last season started. People asked me what it was. When there was three feet of snow on the ground and the roads were treacherous, I started switching my Niner winter coats (i have a bunch of ’em from windbreakers to California winter coats – all from Candlestick). People asked me what those were too at the stores and on the streets. At the libary. At Church. Niner baseball hat at the library, church, you gotcha.
    I went from John Brodie to the demolition and Joe Thomas and then Bill Walsh and Joe Montana and lots more.
    After I threw the playoffs parties for the Saints and the Giants here in New Mexico, people started to show up. So some friends of mine got this for me before the Pack game to get me ready. They believe now. I’m watching it again before the Lions.
    http://preview.tinyurl.com/9lsvsv5

  37. 12th Man says:

    I know what you mean about wearing niner stuff, lots of new shiny things seen in the street these days.

    Umm, your friends got you a parrot???

  38. rtfirefly says:

    I’m not very good at posting videos, 12th. The Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill, a little low budget I’d never heard of.

  39. I haven’t finalized a score prediction just yet. But I know one thing. It’s going to be a helluva lot closer than the woodshed beat down I put on Unca’s Army this week in fantasy football.

    The margin of my victory is going to be wider than the stretched out pussy found at his favorite whorehouse.

  40. unca_chuck says:

    From tiny url select the non-preview one instead of the preview one.

    Weird, though. When I lived in Burlingame about 25 years ago, there was a small flock of about 5-6 green parrots that would occasionally land on my garage at 6:00 am and start skwalking (scwalking? How the fuck do you spell that?) loud as hell. I can’t count the number of times I’d have to go out ther and throw rocks at them to get them to shut up and go away. Seeing as they can live for 60 years, this could be them . . . they are getting larger . . .

  41. rtfirefly says:

    Get the movie. About 47 stars. I lost the point in my post. I look a lot like that guy these days without the ponytail. And I did really no joke this time fight the coyotes off with their scaredy-cat dogs last month. But not alone. Not without my dogs. That’s the stuff I’m talking about. That’s why they got me the flick.

  42. rtfirefly says:

    Well, mostly because I told them about the neighborhood, the landmarks, and the neighborhoods close by. Showed ’em where I used to commute, where the quake wiped off the bridge. You can see it all in the film if you look hard enough.
    The Pack will be wiped out, beaten again tonight at home in the league’s toughest division. RT Firefly shutting up.

  43. unca_chuck says:

    Big game for the Packers tonight. It’ll be interesting to see the Da Bears can learn from the Niners and put another smack-down on the Pack. Starting the season 0-2 at home would be pretty devastating for them.

  44. unca_chuck says:

    Good stuff, RTF, even if I have no idea what you are talking about .. . . ! You chased away the coyotes with dogs and parrots?

  45. rtfirefly says:

    LOL Chuck. The parrots came from a great, great movie my friends gave me to get ready for the Pack upset.
    Juxtaposing, malaprops, I love it.
    The coyotes and my friends’s dogs are a real story from a few weeks ago.

  46. Del Mar Dennis says:

    Phil, that was a rarity having a tie in FF. First time I can recall it happening over at ESPN. Even rarer was the tie we had over in Yahoo! three years ago. They use fractional points to the hundredth. The final was like 186.12 apiece. I remember Berger was one of the teams.

    Now that was rare. Almost as rare as the last rib eye I cooked for myself.

  47. Del Mar Dennis says:

    Fucking Rodgers goes 3 and out to begin the game. Does my FF team NO good.
    Asshole. Doesn’t that motherless son of a fuck know I’m playing both Chuck and Berger respectively in our leagues this week.

    Get with the program, Rodgers.

  48. Del Mar Dennis says:

    I used the first overall pick on a QB who throws the ball like Lupus from “The Bad News Bears?” Fucking Rodgers.

  49. 12th man says:

    A quote this week from Steve Young no less

    “Really, this is the team to beat right now. There are the 49ers and everybody else. I know it’s early, but that’s just how it is right now. It’s kind of a neat spot for Alex to be in. And he’s earned every bit of it.”

  50. unca_chuck says:

    Wow. Gift penalties for the Pack. Again.

  51. rtfirefly says:

    When Arizona what’s-his-name on all the blogs telling about how wonderful Jay Cutler was and was worth every bit of the two #1s Da Bears gave the Broncs I was the one telling him to get a clue.
    A #7 also in the trade. A decent little QB in Kyle Orton tossed in who could have done better if he hadn’t walked into a shithole as Denver at the time.
    I have Peyton Manning, RG III, and Christian Ponder on the Coyotes. Beat me baby.

  52. Del Mar Dennis says:

    Aaron Rodgers is sucking like shit through a tin horn tonight fantasy-wise and now Forte goes out with an injury. Goddamn double whammy for me tonight. My week just continues to take a wrong turn. “Wrong Turn” (2003). Eliza Dushku sure looked hot in her wife beater T-shirt.

  53. rtfirefly says:

    A smackdown on Lambeau Field. Don’t worry, I didn’t care if the Da Bears won again or ever won again. 7 sacks on Cutler and Mad Mike is no longer the OC. That’s going to be one tough division with Sing as assistant coach of the Vikes and Christian Ponder at QB.
    I’m glad we play the Hawks and Pete Carroll and Whiz somewhere and the Lambs for the 6 games.

  54. unca_chuck says:

    New thread is up . . .

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