Forty Niners Forever

The wildcard weekend saw a boatload of wipeouts as the Cowboys continued their playoff pratfall and got crushed by the Pack. the surprising DeMeco-Ryans-led Houstons beat the shit out of the vaunted Browns defense, the injury-depleted Dolphins couldn’t slow down the resilient Chiefs, the Bills continued their late-season roll by beating the playoff-starved Steelers, the the Iggles finished their Jeckyll/Hyde season with a resounding thud at the feet of Baker’s Boys, and the surprising Lions defense stopped the Rams and won their first playoff game since King George I was president.

So, on Saturday we get the other hottest team in the NFC, the Green Bay Packers, and the Bucs get the surprising Lions in Deetroit.

The AFC #1 seed Ravens gets Houston at home, and the Chiefs head to Buffalo for their yearly playoff matchup.

Kinda bummed Cleveland got washed out, as the playoffs seem to be the same-old same old with the usual teams. Only Cleve and Deetroit are the newcomers to the playoff parade, as Houston was in fairly recently, and the Dolphins have had their share of playoff action. So here we are:

Saturday, Jan. 20

(4) Houston Texans vs. (1) Baltimore Ravens 4:30 p.m. ET, ESPN
(7) Green Bay Packers vs. (1) San Francisco 49ers, 8:15 p.m. ET, Fox

Sunday, Jan. 21

(4) Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. (3) Detroit Lions, 3 p.m. ET, NBC
(3) Kansas City Chiefs vs. (2) Buffalo Bills, 6:30 p.m. ET, CBS

At first glance, I think the #1s both move on. Houston is on a roll, but Balt is tough as hell.

The Baker Show ends on Sunday as Jared Goff continues his Rams revenge dash through the playoffs, and KC outlasts the now-injury-depleted Buffaloes.

Football Frenzy weekend! Craziest game might just be the 1st one, with the 38 year old Joe Flacco going up against the 22 year old CJ Stroud. Cleveland actually catches a break I guess by getting out of the frozen east coast and playing in Texas, but going with the youth in this one.

I think Houston wins.

The fair-weather Dolphins however are gonna be playing in what looks to be some horrific conditions. May get to -35 in KC.

Got to go with the cold weather Chiefs.

Bills continue their late-season heroics

The Pack shocks the Cowboys

Rams beat the Lions in Stafford’s revenge.

And the Eagles fold up and cry cry cry.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 13TH

1:30 PM PST

Browns (11-6) @ Texans (10-7)

5:10 PM PST

Dolphins (11-6) @ Chiefs (11-6)

SUNDAY, JANUARY 14TH

10:00 AM PST

Steelers (10-7) @ Bills (11-6)

1:30 PM Packers (9-8) of @ Cowboys (12-5)

5:15 PM

Rams (10-7) @ Lions (12-5)

MONDAY, JANUARY 15TH 5:15 PM

Eagles (11-6) @ Buccaneers (9-8)

So far, 8 coaches, a full 1/4 of the NFL coaching positions, are up for grabs. The list, so far, is:

Josh McDaniels / Antonio Pierce – Raiders
Frank Reich – Chris Tabor – Panthers
Brandon Staley / Tiff Smith – Chargers
Mike Vrabel – Titans
Arthur Smith – Falcons
Pete Carroll – Seattle
Bill Belichick – Patriots
Riverboat Ron Rivera – Commies

The Raiders, Panthers, and Chargers all got a BIG jump on Black Friday and fired their coaches in November (well, December for 4th and whatever Brandon Staley). None of the interim guys look to stick, but maybe the Raiders keep Antonio Pierce as they played pretty well under him. Then again, they played pretty well under Rich Bisacci after Chucky was fired in 2021, so there’s that. Prince Valiant in his infinite wisdumb tossed Bisacci and hired Posh Josh, Tossed Derek Carr, signed Jimmy G, and the hilarity ensued.

No fixing stupid and ugly. Both are bone-deep within Mark Davis.

The rest are varying shades of garbage.

Then again, Pete Carroll, and Bill Belichick are pretty big deals. Pete and his rah rah attitude and relentless optimism hid a (grudgingly) great football mind who was able to get more out of the sum of the parts available to him and it puts him in pretty solid standing as an all-time coach. They drafted well all those years, but for one bad play-call (hello Jim Harbaugh), he would have 2 Super Bowl rings.

Belichick? Well, he was a good coach who happened to get a game-changing QB near the start of his career and rode it into history. Without Brady, his record is mediocre, but his work in Cleveland should be noted as he turned that team into a great team before being cut off at the knees by Art Modell.

Niner coaches have fared pretty well. Mike Mcdaniels is sliding into the playoffs after getting passed at the wire by the wildly inconsistent Buffalo Bills. DeMeco Ryans has the upstart Houston Texans in the playoffs on the back of rookie phenom CJ Stroud.

And of course Robert Saleh. The unfortunate recipient of the Aaron Rodgers travelling freak show. I’m a little amazed he’s still employed, but he has little to do with the shit-show going on in Jersey.

Shanny gave the latest health status, and it looks pretty good for our guys.

AA, JJ, and CMC are all on schedule to play. As are safeties Ji’Ayir Brown and T Gipson and CB Ambry Thomas. However, Clelin Ferrell, Drake Jackson and Taler Hawkins are out.

Just goes to show how much the Niners needed this break.

• DE Clelin Ferrell (knee): Will miss “a few weeks” with a knee injury; will miss “at least a game”
• DT Arik Armstead (foot): Should return to practice this week; would have played Week 18 had it been a must-win game.
• WR Jauan Jennings (head): Has passed the concussion protocol and will practice this week
• RB Christian McCaffrey (calf): Won’t practice this week but is expected to return to practice sometime next week
• DE Drake Jackson (IR – knee): Isn’t healthy enough to come off of IR yet
• S Ji’Ayir Brown (knee): Expected to return to practice this week
• CB Ambry Thomas (hand): Expected to return to practice this week
• S Tashaun Gipson (quad): Expected to return to practice this week
• S George Odum (IR – bicep): Will have his 21-day practice window opened this week, leaving the door open for a return in the playoffs
• S Tayler Hawkins (wrist): Will require surgery

Wild finish to the season. Seattle Pete is out. The high-flying Packers are in on the arm of Jordan Love and a couple hot rookie WRs. The Rams got their shit together and made a strong run down the stretch. Philly is staggering into the playoffs with an embarrassing loss to the woeful Giants. They finished on a 1 – 5 run. The Lions are back in the playoffs and are looking for their first playoff win in 33 years.

The surprising Browns (20 years since their last playoff appearance), and the reaminated Joe Flacco, lead the charge to take down the Ravens. DeMeco Ryans willed the Texans into the playoffs, and the Mike McDaniels-led Dolphins staggered into the playoffs by losing the game, and the division to the wildly weird Bill on the last day of the regular season.

The Steelers and Bucs feel like cannon fodder at this point, but with the Iggles imploding, TB likely pulls off the win. At home.

Saturday, Jan. 13

• (5) Browns at (4) Texans, 4:30 p.m. ET (NBC). For just the second time in 20 years, the Browns are in the playoffs. These two teams met back in Week 16, but you probably shouldn’t take too much away from that 36-22 win by Cleveland because C.J. Stroud didn’t play. The Texans superstar rookie will be on the field this week and he’ll be facing one of his biggest tests of the season in the Browns defense. 

• (6) Dolphins at (3) Chiefs, 8 p.m. ET (Peacock). Tyreek Hill is going to get a second chance at beating his former team, and this time, he gets to do it in Kansas City. These two teams did meet back in Week 9 in a game that Kansas City won 21-14, but that game was played in Germany. The temperature in Kansas City is expected to be below 12 degrees on Saturday night. 

Sunday, Jan. 14

• (7) Steelers at (2) Bills, 1 p.m. ET (CBS/stream on Paramount+ (click here). This game will be played in Buffalo, where the Bills have been nearly unbeatable this year, going 7-1. Josh Allen has faced the Steelers four times in his career and he’s gone 3-1 in those games. The Sunday forecast in Buffalo is calling for sub-freezing temperatures with possible snow. 

• (7) Packers at (2) Cowboys, 4:30 p.m. ET (Fox). This will be a revenge game for Mike McCarthy. This will mark just the second time that the Cowboys coach has faced the Packers since being fired by them in December 2018. McCarthy lost the first meeting in 2022 and will be looking to get his first win over Green Bay. 

• (6) Rams at (3) Lions, 8 p.m. ET (NBC). For their first home playoff game in 30 years, the Lions will be welcoming an old friend back to Detroit: Matthew Stafford. The Rams QB led the Lions to the playoffs three times, but never got to play a home game. This will also be a huge game for Jared Goff, who will be facing a team and a head coach that traded him away because they didn’t want him anymore. 

Monday, Jan. 15

• (5) Eagles at (4) Buccaneers, 8:15 p.m. ET (ABC/ESPN). The Eagles are stumbling into the playoffs, but they will head to Tampa Bay knowing that they beat the Buccaneers 25-11 at Raymond James Stadium back in Week 3. 

Bread jokes. I know. We don’t knead those. Not that the game didn’t matter but it is a bit worrisome that our kicker left 4 points out there. The starters, including Trent Williams, all looked good. They all got out unscathed, and it wasn’t until the end that shit fell apart. Darnold is Darnold. He can hit the short shit, but missed a lot of mid to deep passes.

I will give him that he was let down on the last 2 drives by 2 big drops that would have put us in position to at least be a lot closer to kicking that game-winning FG, but the backup line was not very good by the end of the game, and Darnold was dealing with a lot of pressure. I really wanted Moody to get the shot to redeem himself. Hopefully he’ll get back to righting himself, but it is at least something that is consistent. They’ve all gone wide right. Something he can hopefully correct.

Still and all, no injuries of note, and the resting begins. Good to see Ray Ray back, and I hope AA and JJ both come back for our next game.

This is gonna be a battle of the backups as neither the Rams or 49ers are playing for anything. Sourdough Sam Darnold gets the start, alongside Kit Carson Wentz (to extend that wild west theme). We can’t rest everyone, and the only certains appear to be Purdy and CMC. I would hate to see Tent Williams out there. As well as Bosa, Gravedigger, Aiyuk, Deebo, and Chase Young, but we have to field a team.

Some spots left to fight for playoff-wise. Mainly Seattle trying to knock Green Bay out, and a bunch of teams trying to knock Indy out of the 7th spot.

Which makes our first playoff game on the 21st likely a bottom-feeder like TB or GB.

What’s funny is I can easily see both Dallas and Philly losing their opening round wildcard games. Philly’s run defense is absolutely garbage, and they are struggling mightily to score in the red zone.

Dallas will have a home game for their opener, so they may advance past the WC round. Glad we are getting the rest we need.

Things worked out completely in our favor as the niners took care of the Washington Commies and the struggling Eagles (uggling Streagles?) got the beaks handed to them by the tougher-than-4-12 Cardinals. An amazing side-note is that 2 of the Cards wins were at the hands of the Cowboys and the Eagles. They LOST to the Giants and Commies. Weird.

But for the calf cramp to CMC, the game was what we needed. A fairly easy game that Purdy played well and the defense did enough to make it stress-free late.

So, we finally get to hit the playoffs as the top dog. Not the WC struggling to get through the first round. So our Rams game next week has no meaning. Funny thing is, the Rams won’t really be playing for much either as they are the 6 seed and can’t go any higher. Green Bay could knock them to 7th but it will still be a roadie for them regardless of their seeding.

And they are scorching hot right now. They are 6-1 in their last 7 and their lone blemish was a loss to the big bad Ravens on a punt return TD in OT.

So, give the starters the first 20 minutes, and rest as many guys as possible. I do not want to see CMC out there next weekend.

So, be careful out there. Don’t do anything too crazy. Went to the Jerry Harrison/Adrian Belew Remain in Light show last night, and it was a blast, but I’m tired and my ears are still ringing. Gonna crash early.

Definitely been a fun season. Thanks for hanging out here.

12/31/23 – Happy New Years Eve!

Two games left and we have a one game lead. I think we need this bye week as we are the walking dead. AA, Jennings, Moore, and Brown are out. Burks, Williams, Purdy, and Deebo all were full participants so we should be fine on offense.

Unless this was Purdy’s comeuppance. Very curious to see how he does after that debacle last Monday. The Niners moved the ball well for the most part, but there were a lot of bad breaks.

Washington is in full rebuild mode after trading their stud DE bookends Chase Young and Montez Swett. Jacoby Brissett got the start at QB for 5 hours as he promptly pulled a hammy after being named the starter so Sudden Sam Howell will get the start.

Dallas did us yet another favor in beating the Lions yesterday, so a win today would really get the 1 seed that much closer.

And I think AZ can really give Philly a run as their run defense is not very good.