Free (agent) For All . . . And a Happy Ending!

Not much going on out there in Ninerland, or football land for that matter. Unless the Antonio Bryant headlong rush into the looney-tunes-diva-wide-receiver-head-case-whack-job Hall of Fame is your style (TO is president and Ocho Cinco is treasurer). It’s good comedy anyway. Call me Mr. Puffy Chest? Really? Call me a Lyft. I’m getting out of Crazy-town.

Speaking of disgruntled Steelers, the guy who is much more appealing to me is Le’Veon Bell. He will not get the franchise tag from the Steelers, and will hit the free agency market soon.  Sure, we have Jared McKinnon, but look how well the run game did without him last year. Brieda, Wilson, Mostert (the free agent brigade), and even the forgotten Albert Morris led the Niners to the 6th ranked run offense in the NFC.

McKinnon has also proven to be a bit fragile, but I’d take the 5 mill cap hit to get Bell and the backups out there. We have a ton of cap space and he is a dominant RB who catches passes very well, and would fit into our system like a glove.

Another FA bandied about is Earl Thomas. Hey, we can re-create the legion of boom south. This move makes sense on just about every way you look at it. Our safeties have been fair to poor these last few seasons with Tartt, Ward, Harris, Reid, Exum, et al playing good, bad, and indifferent at various times these past few years.

I’m sure there are a lot more FAs out there who would fit (Golden Tate, Donte Moncrief at WR) but I think we address WR in the draft. No one is really floating my boat in free agency.


And, in more fun news, Patriots owner Robert Kraft was busted for solicitation of prostitution for twice getting a happy ending at the local rub-and-tug massage parlor (Oriental Orchid) in Palm Beach, Fla.  I mean, really, Bob. Do out-call only. More control over the situation.

About unca_chuck

Lifelong SF 49ers, SF Giants, and Golden State Warriors fan
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40 Responses to Free (agent) For All . . . And a Happy Ending!

  1. 12th Man says:

    Not such a happy ending after all for Kraft

  2. alleykat69 says:

    Kraft has officially taken a new stance on taking a knee…

    • unca_chuck says:

      More like both knees.

      Baffling to say the least why a guy like Kraft would head down to the strip mall to get a hand job from a massage parlor. He could have 15 girls limo’ed out to his yacht in the harbor and no one would be the wiser.

      Part of it must be the thrill of getting caught? Rolling with the commoners?

  3. Winder says:

    chuck- I read somewhere that Le’Veon weighed 260 pounds. I guess taking a year off can be brutal. I also think if anyone gets Earl Thomas it will be Dallas which is too bad. I have no idea who we will target this year but more than likely it will be DB, and OL help. We need some LB help also. I wouldn’t touch Brown with a 10 ft pole. That is actually hilarious about Kraft, he is gonna have to lay low for awhile.

    • unca_chuck says:

      From what I’ve read, there’s no substantiation that Bell let himself get fat. I don’t have proof either way, but he had no way of knowing when his status would change, so I’d think he would be ready to play at a moment’s notice.

      • Winder says:

        Yeah it is hard to believe some of the bullshit that goes on. I would much rather have Bell than brown but he’s gonna cost and we have history in picking up FA’s that just mail it in. It will be interesting to see what shapes out once the league opens.

      • unca_chuck says:

        The good news on Bell is he’s unrestricted so there’s no draft choices involved. We HAVE money. Bell has a lot to prove, and we have the opportunity to be a pretty strong offense with him in the fold. He ain’t gonna be a Garcon.

  4. 12th Man says:

    Niners got a 6th round comp pick

  5. 12th Man says:

    Or did you mean which player?
    Aaron Lynch.

    Something fishy, beyond the obvious, about this Robert Kraft fiasco.
    Why would 3 billionaires, that we know of, all go to a standard looking strip mall rub and tug?

    I’m guessing, but I think it’s got more to do with the trafficking of young women. I can’t see guys like this going to some run of the mill massage parlour, there has to be some special reason.

  6. unca_chuck says:

    If so, they stand to lose everything and be imprisoned forever.

    • Winder says:

      I truly doubt he’s involved with the trafficking operations. He probably just likes some of the specialty services offered.

    • unca_chuck says:

      They have enuff $$$ to sweep the dirtier aspect of this under the rug. But 12th is right about the so-seeming randomness of the location and the services offered. It’s a bigger deal than meets the eye given the clientele.

  7. alleykat69 says:

    Still think Kraft should give everyone a free voucher for a BJ on a Gillette razor purchase..

  8. NJ49er says:

    J.E.R.K.S. South FL Chapter 😀


  9. NJ49er says:

    South FL Billionaires just having fun in the ☼

  10. NJ49er says:

    Your Honor, they simply got the jewelry store and the massage parlor confused.
    Call it carat confusion….
    They brought the wrong jewels, to the wrong address, to be waxed.

    • NJ49er says:

      Your Honor, Mr Kraft believed he was at the travel agency and, he couldn’t believe the offer he got for a trip around the World.

      • NJ49er says:

        He was confused with the term ‘happy ending’ and, he believed the itinerary was ending in Bangkok, not bang cock.

  11. NJ49er says:

    Mr Kraft…wax carrot while you wait?

  12. unca_chuck says:

    “Mr. Kraft, you have too much stress. Let me deflate your balls. You feel much better. . .”

  13. alleykat69 says:

    There’s one F/A WR the Niners should look at and that’s San Diego’s Tyrell Williams.Has the size 6’4 205 lbs runs a 4:43 good route runner, has averaged 16.3 yards per catch in his career.To me he could be explosive under Shanny’s tutelage.

  14. unca_chuck says:

    I didn’t see his name on the list of FA WRs. But sure, he sounds great. Size and decent speed works for me.

  15. unca_chuck says:

    Holy shit. What were they thinking?

    • unca_chuck says:

      What’s crazy is the cop pulled him over after the visit on the 19th, and he went back the next day!

      That took some balls. Or he’s an idiot.

      • 12th Man says:

        Some empty ball apparently.
        I’m not suggesting he is part of a trafficking ring, just that he likes freshly trafficked girls, if he’s guilty.

  16. unca_chuck says:

    Ahhh, we got the 6th round comp pick for Aaron Lynch.

  17. 49ers Outsiderss says:

    Come on over to Skeebers blog if you want to talk real football with real men. If you’re interested in nothing but lame prostitution jokes then hang around here and kill off your brain cells with lame liberal humor.

  18. Earl Thomas says:

    I wouldn’t join your sorry excuse of a South Bay football team even if it was the last team in the league. Real men go to real teams like the Cowboys

  19. unca_chuck says:

    New thread is up . . .

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