Didja Hear the One About the Brain-Dead Cornerback?

Yikes. This has all been plastered all over the web-o-spheres, but really, how stupid is Chris Culliver? Here’s a guy who, on the verge of the biggest game of his young career, spouts anti-gay remarks to a Howard Stern employee on tape. Ooops. He follows that with a supremely shitty game.

The ice was thin at that point, but he did the necessary percerption-is-reality speech and vowed to spend a month hanging out at the Stud to immerse himself in the gay community and maybe figure out how to cover a tight end coming out of the backfield. Wink wink.

On his way back to respectability, he managed to blow his knee out early last training camp, and thus was lost for the season. He kept his nose clean and was on his way back to his under-the-radar status, and inheriting a starting spot at CB, what with Tarell Brown scooting across the Bay Bridge for Oaktown, and Carlos Rogers being given his outright release. However, last Friday morning, he managed to hit a bicyclist on Seventh Ave in San Hozay, and proceeded to flee the scene. In his attempted flee he clipped another car and was eventually cornered by a concerned citizen who witnessed the hit-and-run. For his concern, the citizen was then threatened to get the shit beat out of him by our (anti) hero with a pair of brass knuckles if he didn’t get out of his way. The cops arrived, and I guess Chris figured it was time to cut his losses, as you don’t bring brass knuckles to a gun fight. 

Aside the societal ramifications of football players who think they are somehow bigger than the world they live in, Culliver isn’t a good enough corner to recieve the rope that a guy like Aldon Smith got (hey Aldon! Check out MY gun collection!!). So, he’s likey on a one-way ticket to Pac-Man Jonestown. A couple years spent in purgatory (with a 3 month stint in the Santa Rita Correctional Facility), and some serious image rehab. More often than not, these guys do mend their ways, at least perceptually (which is all that matters to Goodie Goodell), but other times you end up like Art Schichter. Doin’ hard time after running a gambling ring in the early 80s, and now a ticket-selling scam where he pocketed millions to gamble with.

 

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About unca_chuck

Lifelong SF 49ers, SF Giants, and Golden State Warriors fan
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83 Responses to Didja Hear the One About the Brain-Dead Cornerback?

  1. unca_chuck's avatar unca_chuck says:

    2020 would be 6 years away, Fibonnachi.

  2. NoFear49er's avatar NoFear49er says:

    If NFL players were being released because of gang ties they wouldn’t field eight teams on game day. DeSean Jackson was too expensive and not good enough to be worth putting up with his shit in the locker room and meetings and bad mouthing the coaches. Who wants a guy who says he’s slacking off in games? He doesn’t just slack off, he says he’s slacking off. Typical locker room cancer of the type that has destroyed many an offense. There’s always someone who thinks they can handle the problem children though. Dan Snyder is the perfect guy to insist his coaches do it, too.

    About a day late with the notion that zero would do anything that doesn’t further oppress his subjects as a result.

  3. unca_chuck's avatar unca_chuck says:

    DSJ and Marshawn Lynch grew up together. Think that comes up at contract time>>?

  4. unca_chuck's avatar unca_chuck says:

    I suppose SCOTUS giving even more access for people to buy elections is a grand move for justice, right? They sure are looking out for the (corporate) people.

    • NJ49ER's avatar NJ49er says:

      How about Caterpillar Equipment?
      Talk about cooking the books?

      Corporate America wants to call the shots – We see how well the SEC regulated Wall St didn’t we?
      Then when the sh!t hit the fan they brought Wall St to the Fed – Paulson to the rescue.

      Pay the right people, you get your way – The American Way.
      All about the almighty dollar in the U$A.
      Buy the politicians, influence the results you need.

    • NoFear49er's avatar NoFear49er says:

      So it’s okay with you if dear leader spends 100’s of millions of taxpayer $$ (of all parties) campaigning and raising money every day of his presidency but so-called “rich” guys can’t support the guy they think will do the most good for them?

      Take all the money out of it. That’s the way to do it. And no campaigning for elected officials on work days. They should be running on their record anyway, not more empty rhetoric. If you can’t do that you must let folks support who they want to support.

      Funny that no one crying now was crying when they were making money on the IT and housing bubbles. You don’t get to ride the wave then complain when you’re in its trough.

      Quit electing phony usurpers and bad character panderers just because they promise you a free lunch at the other guy’s expense.

      • NJ49ER's avatar NJ49er says:

        NoFear49er I see the entire process as a rigged game.
        Wall St knew what it was doing with the games they played before the meltdown and, the SEC was looking the other way.
        All was good when the bottom line was fat and happy.
        Politicians are puppets to the rich.

        I’m sick of the entire process.
        No one is looking out for the working class anymore.
        Education is an afterthought in this Country.
        Basic morales and values have been replaced with greed and corruption.

        Is it fair to the Vets that are in need of these free lunches?
        I know too many people that were destroyed on Wall St because those at the top took theirs at the expense of those that supported them.
        No one paid the price in the Ivory Towers, they got Golden Parachutes while the masses got the Golden Shower.

        It’s all about greed.

      • NJ49ER's avatar NJ49er says:

        Let’s see how far the Tesla option will get regulated into oblivion because Detroit doesn’t want to lose market share.
        They cry on Capitol Hill about a free market society, until someone threatens to steal market share.

        We’ve been on the nipple of oil forever.
        Anything that comes along to upset the norm gets regulated out of existence.

        Big Oil controls the game and lobbies to insure it’s monopoly.
        We’re the lemmings that line up at the pumps and take it in the gas tank, no matter the cost.
        Does Exxon/Mobil pay any taxes?

        This Country needs to be smarter about energy and, be the supplier, not the addict.

      • NJ49ER's avatar NJ49er says:

        Let’s see how much pull Rex Tillerson has regarding sanctions with Russia since he’s in bed with Putin.

        Fracking is great for the US economy, so long as the process isn’t being done in his neighborhood.

        We’ve exported manufacturing jobs to third world countries for years, all in the name of profits.
        Those here, that need those jobs, become statistics at the price of Union busting.

        The whole procecss of working for a decent wage is disappearing.
        We can’t afford to survive as a service industry to the rich.

  5. philippinefan's avatar philippinefan says:

    There are so many inequalities = rigged game- that it’s hard to comment succinctly …so I’ll pass but agree with most comments here. Sadly. Or is that realistically? To mix metaphors:

    “When dogs eat dogs life’s a bitch”

  6. unca_chuck's avatar unca_chuck says:

    There’s no game anymore. The people are out of the loop. Congress’ approval rate is 12%, but the re-election rate is 98%. Can you say gerrymandering? Nothing changes. That’s why every presidential election comes down to 6 or 7 counties in Ohio and Pennsylvania. Besides, when the choice is shyster 1 or shyster 2, you get a shyster.

    Taking the money out of politics is like taking the air out of breathing. It ain’t gonna happen. Not when the poeple making the rules are the one benefitting from them. Insider trading? Yeah, let’s throw Martha Stewart into jail over $6,500.00. Us? Oh, we can do it. We deserve the right to break laws that we enact And we’ll give the CEOs slaps on the wrist and meet them on the golf course with an empty bag.

    There’s no going back. Not when you have SC justice Roberts ruling on everything pro-big biz, and pro-unfettered money inside K Street, and Scalia backing ‘voter reform’ (aka voter repression). et’s hear it for the (corporate) people.

  7. snarkk's avatar snarkk says:

    These tax hearings in the Senate and the House are nothing but show. If the tax guy and CFO at a traded company aren’t doing their best to get the company tax rate down, they get fired. And, everything they do is within the laws that the senators and reps grilling them for the sound bites voted for. We are “shocked shocked” that you’re running sales through a subsidiary in Switzerland and Ireland…

  8. unca_chuck's avatar unca_chuck says:

    Funny thing is, these CEOs (and the congressmen they bought) said they wouldn’t aggressively searh for loopholes if the corporate tax rate wasn’t so high.

    Right. We’ll gladly bring the money back it the tax rate was 20% instead of 35%. Bull to the shit on that.

    New thread is up.

  9. 12th man's avatar 12th man says:

    Do it like the Brits do. Let the parties choose the candidate they want to run and give equal free TV time to those candidates to convince the electorate who to choose. The whole election cycle is 2 weeks not 2 years and money is not a part of it.

    Money is the issue and creates immense corruption, worse is that foreign interests are now plying major dark money to try to get the candidate they believe is in their best interests elected. You really want China and India etc influencing our elections?

    The answer to fair elections that represent the electorate is to remove the money aspect. If the Republican or Democrat candidate deserves to be elected why do they need money or more specifically special interest money to sway the vote?

    Don’t kid yourself that Obama was elected by the little guys sending in their $5 donations, the same crooks back both candidates, not quite equally but they back both horses so they win regardless of candidate.

    This same corruption is seen in all elections, local, State and Federal. Want to really be represented? Get behind efforts to remove the money from elections. The Supreme Court continues on its path of gift wrapping the U.S. for big business and Politicians to rig the whole game.

    I am not a fan of Obama and didn’t believe Romney was the right guy either but I really believe that other than the rhetoric they blather and excepting minor differences they would both serve their Masters first and foremost.

    Witness that under the “socialist” President Obama, Wall St has set records consistently whilst Main St has continued to struggle and unemployment remains high. Where is the socialism? Where are the government jobs? Less now than under Bush. What about the illegals? Far more deported under Obama than Bush. Obama has by and large continued and often furthered the exact same big business policies under Bush and those of the other place holders before them. Bought and paid for.

    Obama is trying to get this Pacific trade agreement done. It is really bad for American workers and mostly good for big business. Socialist my ass, that is all bullshit window dressing.

    I am in business for myself and am far from a socialist. I want to make a profit as much as the next guy, but that doesn’t make me blind to the fact that the only businesses benefiting are the really big ones. Firms like mine are squeezed regardless of which party is in power. Taxes have remained about the same for me, corporate and personal. So much for the idea that one party is better for business, not my business, by that they mean huge business, like GE for instance that paid no Federal taxes under either party.

    It’s a shell game guys, it really is. There is a revolution coming but not an armed one (having said that I am keeping my firepower ready anyway). I believe it will be a social revolution like the Arab spring or Ukraine where people will just en mass protest getting a smaller and smaller part of the pie.

    Oligarchs are and have been taking over inch by inch and sooner or later it reaches a tipping point. The Walton family (Walmart) have as much wealth as the lowest 40% of American Citizens and are at the forefront of the fight against minimum wage hikes. They are also widely regarded as one of the worst employers worldwide although interestingly enough, other countries don’t allow many of the practices they use here in the States yet the company is still profitable there. When is enough wealth enough? Does a couple of bucks an hour raise really endanger the Walmart company?

    This is why the Tea Party and Occupy have come into being, not because they share the same views, far from it, but because they share the feeling of being railroaded by the system as is despite polar opposite societal beliefs and now it is reaching the average guy in the street.

    Sorry for the novel.

  10. unca_chuck's avatar unca_chuck says:

    The tea party was fine when it was a grass-roots deal when it started. They were idiots, but so are most of the occupiers.

    When Fox news co-opted the tea party as an arm of their apparatus, then all bets were off.

    • 12th man's avatar 12th man says:

      I used Tea Party and Occupy as 2 visible groups diametrically opposed politically both seeking change in the rigged political system.
      Now that is spreading to Main St average Joe blow, I expect to see Uni and College campuses begin serious demonstrations as the young are generally first to think they can change the world. I also expect it to grow to the point some change will have to occur. Initially largely lip service change to try to placate the population but if people press the issue it will bring about more profound change. The internet is the key since it is mostly not controlled by special interests the way TV and print media is.

      The only reservation I have is be careful what you wish for as in the case of the Arab Spring and now Ukraine the new system is as broken as the old if in a different way.
      Removing money from the election cycles is what is needed not wholesale overthrow of the governing system which when implemented as designed is a great system.

      The warnings of the Founders as well as past Presidents have proven to be true. Value freedom first and foremost.

  11. unca_chuck's avatar unca_chuck says:

    The whole dem/republican deal is all smoke and mirrors. 2 flavors of the same koolaid for the most part.

  12. unca_chuck's avatar unca_chuck says:

    IU tell you, the bullshit around school loans, and the price of admission, will be a big deal. I got so fucked over by the so-called regulation of school loans. Rates were supposed to go down, but they skyrocketed in the past 10 years.

    • Yes this is a big issue and needs to change to a more affordable model. Luckily I got my loan before it got out of control and paid it off ASAP. I also decided against more education as my 2nd career was only going to be 15 years max = too short to be able to pay off more loans. Now there is a whole huge class of ‘debt slaves’ who are unable to get jobs and are essentially fucked due to Education loans

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