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She Can Dance a Cajun rhythm . . .

Just like a Geepster in 4 wheel drive. Well, I got my wish for Roman to go. But Chryst almighty as the OC? I ain’t very happy about this. But here we are. Once again the Niners were turned down by the likes of the classy Lane Kiffin among many others. So we are toiling the local dirt with Tomsula and Chryst, our ex-TE coach as DC, and a few NFLE guys.

HuZzah! Can this group of befuddled misfits band together and form a winning team? Or is this just a holding pattern til the Mangenius is named our new HC in 2016?

We’ve gone from Teflon Mike to aluminum Mike to St Jim to now Trent the omnipotent terror and his sidekick young Jed Tweetsalot.

This is like putting lipstick on a pigs ass. Fun fun functional delusionary pipe dreams.

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Well, so Much for Chud

Word is Rob Chudzinski signed a deal this morning to stay with the Colts. Not sure why they dragged this out, but that road is closed.

*gulp*

I hope these guys have a Plan B. I mentioned Mike Sanford from Boise State as a possible guy, and NJ named a few as well,but there are a million guys to pick from should we go that route.

If it is the Geepster, I fear we are in big trouble.

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Chud’s Still the Prize

It looks like it is down to the 49ers and the Rams for the services of the Rob Chudzinski, the OC, HC, and now TE coach of the Colts. I’m assuming Indy is out of the running as he just got a half-assed endorsement from the GM, and since this is being dragged out to the bitter end of his deal, one would likely think they would have wrapped him up already had they wanted him. But then again, it’s the Colts and the Irsay family running things, so anything could happen.

The hopeful side of me thinks this would be a great opportunity for a young coach to be able to work with a young stud QB and do some rehab of his own image at the same time. He can’t be too greedy in wanting to get back to the head coaching ranks after his last debacle in Cleveland. A place that has humbled better men than him, and promises more of the same as they unwind themselves from their latest QB disaster.

Anyhoo, the Bears ended their OC search by inking Adam Gase, the latest wonderboy guy who has a pretty stacked team to work with, although he has Jay (what, me worry?) Cutler as his QB. The Rams? Well, they have a solid if not unspectacular coach in Jeff Fisher, and an offense that varies between lukewarm and glacial. Mainly because they can’t even keep their 2nd string QB (Shaun Hill) upright, let alone Mr. Knee Injury Sam Bradford. He can’t seem to make it through training camp, having missed the last 2 years.

Then there are the owners. Wellllll. The Rams did have Georgia Frontiere, one of the most despised owners in any sport, but Walmart latcher-onner Stan Kroenke is doing a fairly good job of not being an major tool. Our side? Well, there’s the thing. Chud wouldn’t really be able to pick his staff, but then again neither did anyone else.  The fallback is a one-way ticket to mediocrity in one Geep Chryst. A guy who as a QB coach, did as much for Kappy as John Morton did for the WRs. Or Mangini did with the TEs.

*gulp*

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All Quiet on the Coaching Front

Looks like Chud is the word these days. He seems to be the OC prize among the flotsam drifting around the coaching Sargasso Sea. Mute nostril agony indeed.

There is idle speculation of hitting the college ranks for an OC, but I wouldn’t even know where to begin. Ore, Ohio St. And ‘Bama? Why not? They are basically pro teams who pay accordingly, but someone might want to make the jump.

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Super Bowl XLAX is Set

Well, the good news is, we can talk to Rob Chudzinzki now. The bad news? Uhh, the Green Bay Packers tried to play a 55 minute football game, and succeeded. It was those last 5 minutes that sucked. Green Bay inexplicably turtled up when Morgan Burnett decided to lay down after a pick and a mile of green grass in front of him. Green Bay then went into full stupid mode by running up the middle 3 times, and give Seattle the ball right back with a breath-taking 30 yard punt.

After harassing Wilson all day, GB then decides to lay back and play coverage. Naturally it takes Seattle one minute to score. Throw in Green Bay’s Preston Riley moment (hello Brandon Bostick), and yet more soft defense (how do you float a ball 30 feet in the air that no one can lay a hand on on the 2 pt conversion?) and you have 15 points scored in 30 seconds. thus negating the entire excellent game played by the GB defense. Well, except for the amazingly stupid call to rush 3 on a 3rd and 19 play (from a 2nd and 30 set up by a Clay Matthews sack of RW),  and allow a 30 yard pass to Doug Baldwin to sustain Seattle’s first TD drive.

This game was in essence a microcosm of the 49er season. Terrible red zone offense, Playing not to lose from ahead, ultra-conservative play calling, and  going away from what has worked all day. What irked me is the fact that GB had pressured Wilson all day and forced picks because of pressure. Naturally in crunch time when they needed to pressure him most, they go soft and drop into coverage.  When they need a couple first downs to seal the game, they go up the middle 5 out of 6 times for two 3-and-outs. The incomplete pass hit the TE who wasn’t looking for the ball. Huh?

It’s bad enough to take the ball out of Aaron Rodgers’ hands, but that play calling shit was perplexing in the least. GB had run fairly well, but those kinds of situations are begging for play action and misdirection. Not the most basic of plays that are easy to defend, and which Seattle is definitely looking for. Add a couple of special teams lapses, and you have ‘one of the greatest playoff games ever”. Please. Green Bay gave it away. Falling for a fake FG? Utter stupidity. In the end, Green Bay Yorked it up badly.

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The Age of Aquarius

As disappointed as I am about the Tomsula hire, some prominent players are fully endorsing him. This includes Anquan Boldin, Alex Boone, and notably, Vernon Davis. While there’s something to the whole inmates/asylum thing, and the additional fact that VD is in his contract year and should endear himself to the coaches, there has to be a certain amount of relief from the players. Boldin said it should be easier to play for Tomula over the notoriously high-strung and volatile St. Jim.

Beyond that, the only coach they are keeping is Tom Rathman. Good news as I think at this point it would be a good idea to keep Gore. He’s the heart and soul of this team, and this is a commodity they need to keep this train on the tracks. If Gore showed anything last year, it’s that he can thrive given some decent blocking. Give him a 2 year deal and let him ride off into the sunset. He can go about 15 plays a game and he, Hyde, and Hunter can all share duties.

Boone is onboard as well. Sure, kumbaya doesn’t equal wins, but a looser atmosphere could be what these guys need. Again though a lot rides on the staff Tomsula brings in. He’s been in the league a long time and hopefully has developed relationships with potential staff members. One can hope, anyway.

The guy I like at this point for OC would be Chud, the Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground dweller, Rob Chudzinski. He’s a tight end friendly coach who did wonders with Cam Newton his rookie year. Callahan would be OK I guess. He’s had his moments. Trestman? Ehhhh. He cratered in a big way in Chi-town, and his Canada work? Whoop-dee-fricking-doo.

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